I had a vision (a disturbing one at that!  let's just say I will never look at a size 28 wedding dress the same way again!) earlier today and it told me that we must re-visit Reverend Ezikeil's post http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/crazedandconfused/2009/04/more-proof-we-must-never-let-t.php#comments 

regarding those gay's trying to marry one another.  Rev. Zeke posted a list (see below) and WE, THE CHRIST WARRIORS, MUST USE IT AS AMMUNITION TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

I have been adamantly against 'the gays' being permitted to marry their soul-mates since the issue was brought to my attention a few months back.  Not until I read the list in Reverend Ezekiel's post (thank you again Rev!) was I able to truly understand why I felt so strongly against it.  I just knew I hated it, I hated it a lot!

I spend the majority of my days calling into NPR, and posting/responding to blogs and message boards about this abomination.  Since being put on SSI for chronic fatigue six years ago I have nothing but time!  Time I spend trying to fight the good Lord's fight!  Time I spend trying to get the message out that being different is wrong!  Period!  Now that the Lord has so graciously enlightened me (through the good Rev.'s post) the next time I'm confronted by some dirty liberal as to why my outlook seems so narrow I will be able to fire back with one of these gems!  And now, thanks to me, you can too!

I can't tell you how many times a day I have some low-life big-city hipster try to debate me on this unnatural marriage issue!  Prior to having this list in hand, my only argument has been that the bible says it's wrong and therefore it is!  Granted, this SHOULD be THE ONLY argument that is EVER needed for ANYTHING, EVER!  Shockingly, just as I am sure you have witnessed; unsaved, hell-bound souls just don't want to just accept this! 

Nope, those left-wing, deviant, homos always want to argue!  "Where does it say that?" they ask.  "Doesn't it also say that if a woman has sex during her period she should be stoned to death?  If God made us in his image does that mean that he is gay too?  Aren't all sins created equal and isn't it a sin to judge others?  Isn't that what YOU are doing right now?  SINNING?!  Is God angry that you are trying to take over his job of righteous/hateful/all-knowing/judge of humanity?' 

Ridiculous arguments.  Satan's arguments. 

They say, "Kala, why are you so obnoxiously vocal about a subject you know nothing about?  Kala, why have you done absolutely zero research prior to spewing your thought"?  Oh they think they are so smart! They think they are better than me!  Just because I grew up in a trailer with an alcoholic mom, absentee father, and had to bring government cheese to school for lunch. Guess what though butt-pirates?!  I was saved!  And you weren't!  Who will be laughing on Judgement Day you communist fags?!  Who will be laughing then?!  Oh golly, I can't wait for Judgement Day!

I apologize for that rant.  That was the devil trying to destroy all the good work that Jesus is doing in my life. 

I will pray that everyone can be saved like I have been.  That they too can know the peace and sheer joy this amazing gift has brought me!

My brothers and sisters, this all important fight to save OUR marriage continues!  We are now freshly armed Warriors!  Armed with an arsenal of righteous reasons as to why THE GAYS SHOULD NOT MARRY!  Quote them often as I have begun to do.  Next time the devil/'a liberal' puts you to the test quote any of them!  I am especially fond of  #3 - Gay marriage leads to pet marriage!  OH PRAISE YE, THAT YE WILL SURE SHUT THOSE FILTHY CARPET MUNCHERS RIGHT UP!  

I almost feel sorry for them!  Those damned, dirty shameful, pathetic, sinners.  ALMOST.  OH, LOL! ;-)

Friends in Christ, USE THIS GIFT I HAVE BESTOWED ON YOU OFTEN AND FREELY!

I will pray that we complete our mission of never letting those twisted heathens know the total and complete bliss that is marriage!  Never let them legally wed their beloved and then we can chastise them for living in sin!  Oh the JOY!

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

• 25 - Number of times per day I request prayers for myself.

• 24 - Number of times per day those prayers are requested through facebook.  As in, "I am having a hard time thinking of what I should make for dinner.  I could really use your prayers!"

• 15 - Number of times per day I tell someone that I will be praying for them.

• 15 - Number of times per day those promises are made through facebook.  As in, "Oh Lisa, I SO know what you are going through!  I have NO idea what to make for dinner either!  You will DEFINITELY be in my prayers!"

• 10 - Number of times (out of ten) a heathen would call these facebook prayer requests shallow and attention-starved.  How silly and sad those heathens are!  They have no idea about the true power of prayer!

• 5 - Number of friends I have had to leave behind (like Jesus will) when they responded to said requests with some variation of, "You will be in my thoughts".  The correct answer obviously has nothing to do with thoughts!

• 1 - Number of cents I would wager that all whom claim to be Christian are actually following through on these faceless oops, I mean, facebook requests.

Help keep facebook prayer-request status-updates alive!

Immediately request 10 prayers to know pure Christlike Love!

Request 5 prayers over the next couple of days to know Christ!

Request no prayers and KNOW NO LOVE!

Yours in Christ, 

Kala