April 26, 2009 - May 2, 2009 | kalakitty17's Blog

Home | May 3, 2009 - May 9, 2009 »

Week of April 26, 2009 - May 2, 2009

Dangerous 'Things': M&M's, The Seattle Mariners, Abortion, Gay Marriage and Voting Republican.

May 2, 2009, 1:56AM

You know what has always driven me nuts? It's those people that have their 'things'. It doesn't matter what it is, from a sports team, to Diet Coke, to Coach brand handbags. They take a product, person, place, whatever, and blindly make it their whole identity. It is not until later in life, when many these people get together, under the roof of a religion, does the problem become serious.

It starts out innocently enough. Maybe it's that kid in your class that loved Mickey Mouse. The kid had a Mickey lunch box, T-shirt, book-bag, etc. He couldn't tell you why he liked Mickey, or even any one thing in particular that he liked about him, just the he liked him. It was his 'thing'. At some point his mom probably decided that it was cute if she made little Timmy into a 'Mickey Kid'. That way, if one of her friends at bible study were going to Disneyland she could say, 'Oh my little Timmy, he just LOVES his Mickey! I don't know what I am going to do with that little bugger!', and feel like she had some sort of ownership over all things Disney.

As for little Timmy, the 'thing' problem was still pretty harmless but Timmy was going to grow up into an adult.

In my late teens/early twenties this problem not only continued, it got more prevalent. It seemed more and more people, took hold of more and more 'things'. They became far more serious about their ownership of said, 'thing'. I had this guy at work that just loved the Mariners and all things related. He would make it known, pretty much upon introduction, that man, oh man, did he ever LOVE those Mariners! There was that chick that LOVED Orlando Bloom. Her e-mail address was something like iloveorlando@. She would sit in chat rooms all day telling everyone how SHE was his biggest fan. Or there was the lady who loved all things M&M. We once went on a team building trip to Vegas and she would do nothing but hang out at the M&M factory. I don't think she even enjoyed the factory after the first hour but that didn't matter. It was her 'thing' and she had to show us all how much it was hers. Even if that meant wasting her entire trip there, bored to tears.

Although these people annoyed the shit out of me, it was still a harmless practice.

Here is where the problem comes in; these people are now adults. They have joined, or become more active in, their church. They have let go of their individual 'things' to take hold of the churches 'things'. There is a switch from having a 'thing' that they love, to having a 'thing' that they hate. Do you know what they hate? Abortion, gay marriage and liberals. Simple as that. Miss iloveorlando@ has now become chselife4bby@. Mariner games have gave way to Promise Keepers. Like little Timmy, they can't tell you why they hate it, or really anything in particular about it all. Just that they hate it.

How can an entire group of people all have the exact same hateful passion? How in the hell does believing in Jesus, who taught about love and acceptance, have one fucking thing to do with being a republican? I do not see the correlation between Jesus and any of these issues. Yet they are an entire HUGE group of people acting as though the first lines in the bible read, "Jesus says, 'No abortion. Marriage is between a man and a woman only. Vote Republican. You may pick and choose at will through the remainder of this Book".

Don't get me wrong, I am not even trying to insinuate that I have a clue as to how Jesus would weigh in on these issues. I am just saying that they don't either.

I didn't have many questions for M&M girl or Mariner guy. Their 'things' weren't important, they didn't effect me. These new ones are, and do. They effect us all. Even if they could not produce an answer, I would love for them to at least consider the following -

Regarding Abortion (and their burning desire to ban it under all circumstances) -

Foremost, why is this even a concern for you? Do you need it banned because God needs a mere mortals help in deciding life and death issues? Does He not have this one covered? Does He not possess this power to decide if a life is to be born (or extinguished)? Is it that you lack faith in His power or is it arrogance in your own?

When people die, don't you say, 'They are in a better place, God needed them more than we do and God has called them home?' If you believe this, why would you even want/force anyone to come here instead of that, 'better place'? That seems cruel. Cruel that you would want to take away their chance to walk with Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven, without ever having to endure the sufferings of Earth. And crueler, since their sufferings here on Earth, on average, will far surpass the norm. Possibly born to a mother that is not ready emotionally or financially to be a mom? Born with birth defects, possibly severe? Many reasons. If and until, you and Sarah Pallin are ready to insure these kids do not have to suffer the consequences of your will, it does not seem very Christian of you to try to enforce it. Second, what happened to the 'God needed them and called them home' part? Is it again that God needs your help? If I were Him, you guys would really be starting to tick me off.

I had two extremely close (of the BFF variety), childhood friends became 'born again' a few years back. We are no longer friends. Not because I rejected them for changing so drastically, but because I would not change with them (the fact that they kept telling me my grandparents are in hell was an added bonus). Getting back to my question - both of these friends had abortions in their teens, and both immediately upon becoming Christian many years later, became vocal opponents of it. You become born again - you hate abortion and think being gay is a choice. No ifs and or buts. Anywho, according to them, thanks in part to their decisions to have abortions, did these woman find their way to the Lord. I have to assume their story is not an unusual one. Here is my question (finally) - why would you want to take this same path to finding Him away from another woman? Again, why do you think God needs your help? He couldn't help change a woman's mind if He so chose? He couldn't have a chat with her? You are always bragging about how he talks to you...

You say that you are so pro-life right? Every life is just so fucking precious to you right? These fetus's are innocent so they need your protection right? Well then how can you be PRO WAR? Where is your 'every life is precious' in that case? Innocent children get killed in war too you morons. It doesn't make any sense.

I am not even going to get into the other two 'things'. Being against gay marriage is so asinine in my book that it doesn't even merit argument. Loving Jesus equating to being a Republican is also such a ridiculous notion that it too, is without argument.

Socrates said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'. Is it is fair to say that the unexamined blind following of anything, be it an idea/notion/religion/'THING', is not worth following?

These people with their 'things' used to annoy me. Now I feel sorry for them. It is truly embarrassing that they mindlessly adhere to manufactured notions, so obviously unexamined. Embarrassing that they then shout out their ignorance to the world.

I am not bitter though. Nope, not at all.

Quarterly Report - Smokers STILL Have Rights? Subhuman Cash Cow, NOT equal Citizen!

April 29, 2009, 3:04AM

Association for Smokers Humiliation -

Ostracizing Smokers for More Than 10 Years!

Hello friends:

We have had another great quarter here at A.S.H! We hope this letter finds you all well.

As we have discussed - nobody likes smokers. We don't like anything about them. Nobody does. Their friends, family members, even their own mothers in many cases, have turned their back on them. Jesus did a long time ago.

With how ridiculously 'P.C.' the liberal hippies have gotten this country, it is no longer 'acceptable' to be openly prejudiced, EXCEPT against these dirty, nasty, disease ridden smokers! Hallelula! I can not think of another group of people we are allowed to, no, encouraged to, discriminate against! I feel so blessed when I get to walk right up to a smoker, shake my head, and hiss 'disgusting'. Do I get to do this to one of those weird Canadians? Not anymore I don't! Only smokers. We can pat ourselves on the back for this one folks. We told society that these ash-mounds are soulless demons deserving of respect, and for once society agreed!

We have done a good job so far. The Lord is smiling. But we must remain vigilant.

Here is where we stand on our 'To Do' List-

Strip them of their dignity -

Oh how much do you just LOL when you see them standing out in the rain 40 feet from the building - alone? Boy oh boy, do I ever get a kick out of that!

Make them pay -

Can you say SCHIP my brothers? http://www.heritage.org/Research/HealthCare/wm1548.cfm

We have done some excellent work here folks! We have them paying for healthcare but not to help them quit smoking! What a riot! Now we can't have our little cash cow quitting on us, god forbid! They may be subhuman but their money is still green!

Make them pay period. Willy nilly style. Cuz we can! -

MARSHFIELD - People who smoke on the beach can now be fined $25 if caught.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- State employees are facing a $600 surcharge that goes into effect next year for everyone in the employee health system who smokes or has a smoker for a spouse.

Alienate -

We have done a mighty fine job here my friends! The seeds of our labor have sprouted into majestic trees of righteousness! These tactless sinners have been shunned from just about everywhere (and everyone). With the the, 'KEEP OUT YOU FILTHY ANIMALS' list getting longer by the minute, we will have these 'people' (if you can call them that) rounded up 'leper style' before you know it!

SALINA, Kan. (AP) - Salina's tougher smoking ban will begin Saturday, despite an effort by opponents to encourage city commissioners to delay or repeal the new rules.

Deprecate -

Like I previously stated, these vagrants are despised by all. I was over on this new internets web called you tube (if you haven't been there you should check it out!) looking up funny cat videos and I came across something very encouraging. A guy from that American Idol show had a homemade video where he is at a piano singing and he has a cancer-stick set down beside him burning. The encouraging part is the comments that were left for him. One person after another, making reference to that cigarette. From telling him to quit, to how disgusting it is, to how they don't like him anymore. They were doing our work for us friends, letting that nasty smoker know that even if he is of age, in his own home, not breaking the law, not actually even smoking, they do not approve. They are the righteous majority, they are in, he is out, exiled from the group, beneath them.

Here is an example of one the comments - Well done 0Faren! Well done!

0FarenHight (3 weeks ago) Show Hide

-1

Reply | Spa

I love your music!!!!!!!!!!! but seeing you smoke makes me gag and makes me or every one else not like you... i am sorry but its the truth.

Still To Do -

We have had many successes, in all areas, but we are not finished. They still have some legal rights and WE MUST TAKE THEM BACK! We cannot stop until every last liberty is stripped away from these plagued, stinky, anti-American, sin mongrels!

Until next month.

God Bless,

Kala

Don't forget to mark your calendar for these upcoming events -

6/1

3rd Annual

Gay? No Way! God will help you Straight Away! Spa Night (Men Only Please!)

Pastor Dickies house 7pm

Don't forget to bring your bathing suit!

6/23

Fat People - Our Next Target or just gross?

8pm @ the Denny's off Sprague

Obama, Torture Memo's, and Why Life Just IS NOT FAIR!

April 27, 2009, 3:52AM

There has been much debate and controversy surrounding the torture memo's, Obama's decision to release them and his decision on whether or not to prosecute those responsible.

I do not pretend to be anywhere near as versed on these issues as the many of the bloggers/commentators I have been reading.

This post is not to debate the valid points previously discussed. This post is not intended to be political in nature - about agenda's, power plays, who knew what, who did what or even who deserves what.

It is about the elephant in the room of public opinion - the pesky issue of every action/decision having an equal and opposite reaction. That the laws of nature and humanity are outside our scope of control. Adversely, this situation, like all situations, CAN NOT be molded into a win/win for all. There are alway winners and always losers - there is no way around it - nothing is ever completely equitable - nothing is fair!

It is hard to accept this. Hard to accept that the proverbial 'playing field' can never be truly level and that no matter what, 'the score' is in a perpetual state of unsettle. Frustratingly enough, there is not one goddamn thing that you, me, our country as a whole, OR President Obama can do about it.

The best President Obama (or anyone for that matter) can do is make a thoughtful, researched decision. A decision that in the end, has the least adverse affects, on the least amount of innocent people. Just as the best we could do as a country was make a thoughtful, researched decision on who we want making tough decisions such as these on our behalf. I feel we could not have done better in this area.

Any perceived unfairness is hard to accept. I used to hate it when my mom would tell me, 'Life isn't fair'! I want fair! We all do! It's human nature to try and skirt this 'fairness' bullshit by attempting to marginalize everything into - black or white. We take comfort in our perceived control. We pat ourselves on the back when we feel we 'have cracked the case' and found a way to right the wrongs. We focus on the one or two facets of an issue and become blind to the big picture. We never reflect on the fallout, the domino effect, that righting one small aspect of a much larger picture, has caused. It has got to be FAIR! Justice for all, right?

There are a lot of people angry at Obama right now. They are saying he is making decisions based solely on politics or that he is skirting the issues. What they do not realize is that they are actually angry at him for not playing their marginalization game. They want him to narrow his scope and just right these wrongs, already! After all, that is what we as a country have become accustomed to thanks to our former leaders. The, 'Hey everyone! Look at the shiny object!' approach to governing. We all stare at the pretty object that has been hung over our heads while thousands of people suffer (or in the case of Iraq, die) because of the consequences caused by this one faceted decision that we have all feel so good about. We sleep soundly at night, approval ratings skyrocket, and we never turn around to see the carnage that was left in our wake. Pretty shiny - 911!

Deep down we all know that nothing is all black and nothing is all white. We fear that mom was right, life really isn't fair. We know the only 'justice' that can be counted on is that found through your own spirituality - faith - your consciousness - your soul - karma - The Universal Powers that be.

No matter what decision Obama makes I am confident that it will not be one-dimensional and that he is the best man, no, the only man for this job. I know that it is not fair to us as a country to not see the Bush administration officials punished in the we see fit. Just as I really start to feel sorry for us and our guilty consciouses, I realized that it is also not fair that so many innocent Iraqi's have died, that Obama inherited this mess and that Bush will never have to pay for his atrocities. He will live out his days in the lap of luxury and although his soul will know the truth, he will never gather the courage to turn to see his personal wake of carnage.

Life just really isn't fair, is it? Too bad for us. We should all quit waiting for our due. It's not coming.

Vegetarians Exposed: Anti-Jesus, Anti-American, Bestiality Crazed & Building Momentum. (Proof of Deviancy Far Deeper than Meatlessness!)

April 26, 2009, 6:17PM

We have all seen them. Maybe at a restaurant or a family gathering? You know who I mean, that loathsome, tree-hugging liberal, smugly eating his tofu making it difficult to enjoy your own bloody hunk of cow ﬂesh. If you are like me, you try to avoid looking at these people at all costs - just the sight of them makes your skin crawl! This is impossible; just as you feel compelled to look at the carnage left by a car wreck, so too are you compelled to look at the heinousness that is ʻthe vegetarianʼ. This point of view may not be widely vocalized but is widely agreed upon by any true red-blooded American Christian. These people make us sick, with their expensive haircuts and designer jeans, it's enough by itself to make you want to bludgeon them within an inch of their lives but sadly my friends, the problem goes FAR beyond this. There is a whole cesspool of unholy sickness bubbling right under the surface of these seemingly harmless (albeit annoying) vegetarians. Which brings me to the point of this post.

The Lord has asked of me to help bring these liberal sinners out of their shadowy dens of debauchery and let His light expose them for what they are! I pray that you will not only heed the following but that you will join me and The Big Guy on our crusade. Although Jesus and I both wish you believed in him we are aware that a few of his ﬂock has strayed. :( I hope that even you people that will not be hanging out with me in Heaven, will also continue to read. They are not just a threat to Christianity, they are threat to the American way of life!

In the following, I will outline for you the real and unﬂappable proof that these godless left-wing, terrorists, a.k.a. vegetarians, are against everything we stand for as a people/nation/religion. If left to their own devices they will be the downfall of our society as a whole, mark my words! They are systematically attempting to dismantle what little we have left of our wholesome, Christian, American family values after that lust ﬁlled adulterer, President Bill Clinton left ofﬁce. I can not, nor will not, idly sit back and watch them ruin what our forefathers and the Crusaders worked so hard to create with out putting up a ﬁght!

Below, I have outlined for you the main threats posed, followed by the proof, and/or explanation of said threat. There should not be any further doubts.

1 - Vegetarians ARE NOT Christians!

How do I know this? I just do. I have faith that God has not misled me in my judgment. I realize that any left-wing, know-it-all reading this will not ﬁnd 'faith', a sufﬁcient answer. It is so sad that you liberal hippies can not grasp the concept of true faith. You always need to question everything, look to your ʻscienceʼ for proof, debate and study and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. So for you doomed souls, I offer the following facts (I know how much you love that word!) as proof that I am correct.

A - God made animals and then put them on the earth. He obviously wanted us to eat them or he wouldnʼt have made them so darned tasty Duh. A simply one to start.

B - Animals are soulless beasts while God blessed humans with souls. This proves that in Godʼs eyes we are superior to animals and therefore ARE superior. As our God given right, we must eat them - the superior eat the inferior.

C - Noahʼs Ark. What was the point for Noah to put in that much effort if it wasnʼt for food? Umm, there wouldnʼt have been one!

D - Adam and Eve. Was it not an APPLE that they were tempted by that resulted in original sin? Oh Why Yes! I do believe it was! How interesting! Itʼs an apple, a plant based food, under which all sin is created! Eating vegetation = sin. After all, it certainly was not a chicken carcass hanging from that fateful tree now was it!?

2 - Vegetarians killed Jesus

Please see 1-D - Bite of apple was taken, caused us to be a bunch of heathen sinners, God had to sacriﬁce his only Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, so that we could be saved. I am sure even the most pathetic of you non-believers have heard the term, ʻJesus died for your sinsʼ? Well, we can just go ahead and change that to the way it should read - ʻJesus died for the vegetarians sins!ʼ I can assure you that no stinking apple, carrot, kumquat, whatever, would have tempted me bad enough to result in a dead Jesus! A side of bacon maybe, but an apple? NO WAY!

3 - Vegetarians are sexual deviants that support gay marriage

My proof regarding their sexual deviancy should hit home for all you devil-worshipping, evolution theory believing, left-wing wackoʼs, out there since I can prove this one with a MATHEMATIC FORMULA! We all know how much you just love to spout off with your, ʻnot convinced unless I have proofʼ bull-honkey. I am a heterosexual female. Since my husband, a wonderful, God-fearing man, made an honest woman out of me about 10 years back I have since rewarded him with missionary style ʻmaritalsʼ once a week, three times a month as a good wife/good Christian woman should. There is no variation and the only pleasure I receive from it is the pleasure of knowing I have been a dutiful wife and in turn a dutiful Christian. THIS is the way the Lord intended, THIS is the ONLY WAY! Any deviation from this is a perversion. For you porn-loving, Nazi sympathizing, left-wingers, here is the mathematic proof I had promised you (it is a story problem)...

My husband and I eat meat - We have sex with humans.

Vegetarians eat vegetables - They have sex with...? That is right kids, they have sex with animals!

Let me ʻshow my workʼ, so to speak -
I=A Eat=E Meat=T Sex=S Men=M
If((A*E)/S)2=T What is V?
V = Vegetarians are bestiality loving sickoʼs! That is what V equals!

Their support of gay marriage is by-product of their ﬁlthy lustful desires toward house-pets/farm animals/ﬁsh/birds/etc. I am sure you have often heard the argument that gay marriage will open the door to other, possibly worse atrocities (I shudder to think of something worse!). I have often heard "Whatʼs next? People will marry their dog?" It is believed that this argument is coming from my side (the side that has Jesusʼ support) but this is a common misconception. I have heard folks on Team Jesus say that they donʼt necessarily ﬁnd this to be a valid fear. Obviously, these folks are not true Christians but that is not the point. The point is this - if WE didnʼt start the argument and YOU didnʼt start the argument, just WHO did and why? The answer is really quite simple, let me explain - awhile back a grass-roots campaign was schemed up by these four-legged-friend-fuckers to try and get gay marriage passed precisely for that reason. They KNEW it was a gateway to something even more deviant than a man on man union - a man on beast union! Oh boy did those disgusting sodomites want that gateway door ﬂung WIDE OPEN! They wanted/want nothing more than to be able to take Fido up the poop-shoot on their honeymoon in Hawaii. But somewhere early on a mistake was made in their twisted plan. The LAST thing they wanted was for us meat eaters to realize gay marriage would lead to beast/human marriage, not until it was too late anyway.

4 - Vegetarians like babies, dead ones that is!

I guess it is only fair that I preface this category by stating that it is ﬁtting of ALL left-wing, God hating, liberal bastards, not just vegetarians. Sure these 911 supporting, anti-Americans try to hide behind their veil of ʻopen-mindednessʼ or ʻhuman rightsʼ or some shit I will never understand nor agree with - they try and hide all of their misdeeds behind these fancy catch phrases it seems. Well me and the J-man ainʼt buying it! These soulless demons have one goal on this earth and that goal is to kill as many babies as possible. Sure they try and cover it up - try to distract us with their shiny new Prius, quick wit, beautiful smile and magnetic personalities. How COOL and With-it and qum ba yah and birkenstock wearing and poly-sci degree holding and mary-jane smoking and Dave Matthew's concert going and piss on the bible and piss on America and lets have a circle jerk and I am so popular and I am pure AWESOMENESS, these baby murders are. ʻOh, itʼs the womanʼs right to choose! Her body, her choice!ʼ, they lament, but I call ʻem like I see ʻem and abortion is murder you evil demons! And just for the record, I didnʼt want to be invited to your stupid ʻHolidayʼ party anyway Marissa! The only reason I sat outside your house that night was to see what happens at a satanic sacriﬁce. For the LAST TIME, yes, the vat of seven layer dip, box of White Zinfandel and assortment of Walmart bras and panties were for my own personal use - there is nothing ʻstalker-ishʼ about it! Plus, I did NOT call you 1,000 times like stated in the restraining order! Burn in hell you dirty, lying, siren of satan! I digress, I apologize.

My Fellow Christians -

The vegetarian threat is very real, it is also very terrifying. Obviously, it is not my place to judge these ʻpeopleʼ. After all, there is only perfect enough to judge - and no ladies, I am not talking about Kirk Cameron! ;-) I do not write this in judgment, nor did I write to inﬂame (as that too would not be very Christian of me) I only write this because I know God wants me to. He needs his ﬂock to stand up and protect what we the blessed know is the only way into heaven, through evangelical Christianity. How do we do this you may ask? How can we control those unafraid of the bible?! Unafraid of judgment day!? My fellow Christians I implore you, letʼs give them something to be afraid of! Using the same skills we have honed on all groups of people that do not ﬁt our ideal - oppression, public ridicule, alienation, exclusion, and my favorite, shame. Letʼs scare them into the loving arms of Jesus! I know together we will continue to ﬁght the good ﬁght against all threats (perceived or real) to our righteous and correct way of thinking. I will pray that God will lead us through these troubling times how he sees ﬁt as we are not worthy of his unfailing love.

Everyone else -

I will pray that you will ﬁnd your way to the Lord and be able to walk next to your maker in the kingdom of heaven. Jesus is THE ONLY way to everlasting life, just as he is THE ONLY way to be truly know peace here on earth!

Know Jesus = Know Peace!
No Jesus = No Peace!

God Bless,

Kala

Home | May 3, 2009 - May 9, 2009 »