Greetings Friends.   I come to you with a true story of God's victory over evil.   Keep in mind the victory was a hard fought one - and were it not for one Christian sacrificing his own future - all may have been lost. 

I don't much get into TV programs save except for the 700 club and the occasional Hangin' with Mr. Cooper rerun.  I choose to avoid even the highly acclaimed Fox News because of it's obvious liberal bias.  I avoid ALL music (both Christian and secular) because of it's proclivity toward the sin of dancing.  1Thessalonians 5:22 is quite clear on that issue.  Unfortunately, circumstances in our value depleted society have called for me to tune back in.  Tune back in to the pinnacle of ungodly programming - Reality TV.  More specifically, American Idol, just as it was on the cusp of destroying our Nation. 

I loathe even discussing this form of  entertainment.  I know folks, these are sick, sick times we are living in!  But sadly, live in them we must until Jesus comes to take us 'chosen ones' home. I wake up every morning hoping to be raptured into Heaven during my morning drive, my Hummer smashing into some unsuspecting godless atheist looking confused and finally realizing the error of his ways before he's shipped straight to Hell courtesy of my front fender!  What was happening on that show this year was not something He could, I could, nor any true Christian or proud American worth his salt could live with.  

In the following paragraphs I will outline the terrifying 'reality' that almost came to pass because of this show.  I will also shed light on the heroic efforts by some great Christian Warriors that saved us from these atrocities.

As I am sure that most of you have not watched this American "False" Idol I will briefly explain how it works.  It is a singing competition that hundreds of thousands of late teen to twenty-somethings try out for to win a million dollar recording contract.  First they go in front of judges and once the field gets narrowed down to 12 the public gets to vote on who they like.  Unfortunately, the judges made a terrible error and allowed an unsavory sort to make it into this elite group.  His name was Adam Lambert.  It was beyond terrible, unforgivable would be more accurate.  Had he won, we could have expected the most terrible disasters in history to strike us immediately.  I was almost fooled by this wolf in sheep's (more like beautifully tailored silk and satin) clothing.

A gentleman in my bible study group had told me about this fellow, said he had the voice of an angel and that there was also a couple of other fine young Christians in the top 12; Chris Allen and Danny Gokey.  I fell to the sin of curiosity and watched the show the following week.

My First Impression -

Adam Lambert  - Dressed in a suit with his hair perfectly coifed sang Tracks of My Tears (obviously not a Christian song but certainly not a window into his true sickness that would show later) and I must admit he brought me to tears.  He did sound like an angel.  A beautiful angel.  Being the sinner that I am, I am embarrassed to admit that this boy had my loins a flutter in a way I have not felt since my wedding night.  Please forgive me Jesus.

I spent the next week looking up everything I could find on this young man, every youtube video, every article, anything I could get my hands on!  I needed to find out just who was this person?  A person that Jesus had so obviously favored and gave him this voice!  Sure, I found rumors of deviancy's. Terrible disgusting deviancy's.  Fortunately, I knew realized they were just that though, rumors.  There was no way this Adam fellow could not fool me and The Big J!  He was good Christian boy, and I knew it!  His voice was the proof.  If he was the deviant of those pictures, and video's, and interviews, and yearbook photos, Jesus would have cursed him with leprosy or gout and made him sound like Taylor Hicks or something.

Danny Gokey-    A youth Pastor with a raspy voice and a dead wife.  Good Christian!  Nuff Said.

Chris Allen-    A youth Pastor with a pleasant little voice and a living wife.  Good Christian!  

The Horrors!

It got down to these three guys and at church on Sunday my Pastor dropped the bombshell and brought to our attention the pending Apocalypse.  Adam Lambert was in fact a HOMOSEXUAL!  HE WAS IN THE TOP THREE!  A HOMOSEXUAL!  HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN?!  I could not imagine what it could mean to our Country, our WAY OF LIFE, if this gay won!  If he actually beat out good righteous Christian's!  I just threw up again thinking about it!  If he won - the following would be true.

American Idol = Gay Idol = Gay GOD - America would now worship a GAY GOD!!!  

#1 - Kids would think it was 'cool' to be gay!  All the school age boys would start sodomizing each other in the lunch rooms, on the school bus, you name it!

#2- Kids would think it was OK to be 'different'!  Different is NOT OK WITH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!  This I know FOR SURE!

#3- Gays would be permitted to marry!  Why not?!  A gay American 'False' Idol, showing kindness and courtesy to everyone would automatically lead to gay marriages.  It only makes sense!

#4- Bestiality!  See my previous post on vegetarians!

#5- Christians would have been oppressed yet again!  We have been fighting persecution for centuries!  We can't teach creationism in school, we can't stone adulterous in public, and now we're asked to show deference to what God clearly labels an "abomination" - along with shrimp.

Gods Grace Saves The Day - As Always, The Lords Will is Carried Out

Praise God that my church was not the only one to take notice and take action.  We band together and got the word out.  Danny gracefully realized that he needed to sacrifice his spot in the competition for the greater good.

Danny knew his Christian vote would automatically go to Chris.

False Idol advertisers and affiliates got the word out that it was imperative to our economy that Chris is had to defeat Adam.  Can  you imagine having to listen to a gay person sing "Wish Upon a Star" for Disney?  Wish upon the alter of Satan is more like it.  No, Disney, Ford, At&T etc. made sure to give Christ's team a leg up by showing Chris supporters how to power text.  

This was a classic case of David and Goliath.  Classic except for the fact that this Goliath likes to take it in his brown starfish.

We defeated him.  We won.  We may have had to take some drastic measures,  but in desperate times - well you know.  We told them that we voted for Chris because Adam had too much experience even though Chris had the same amount.  We told them we voted for Chris because Adam was too 'showy'.  We told them exactly what they needed to hear just so we didn't have to tell them the truth.  The truth that we voted for Chris simply so the hell-bound Homo wouldn't win, and send us straight into Satan's grasp.

Yes, Adam gave me goose bumps every time he sang.  No, Chris never did.  So What!?  Chris is a man of the Lord and isn't that all that matters here?

Yes, it is!  Praise God!

God Bless, 

Kala ✞

I had a vision (a disturbing one at that!  let's just say I will never look at a size 28 wedding dress the same way again!) earlier today and it told me that we must re-visit Reverend Ezikeil's post http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/crazedandconfused/2009/04/more-proof-we-must-never-let-t.php#comments 

regarding those gay's trying to marry one another.  Rev. Zeke posted a list (see below) and WE, THE CHRIST WARRIORS, MUST USE IT AS AMMUNITION TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

I have been adamantly against 'the gays' being permitted to marry their soul-mates since the issue was brought to my attention a few months back.  Not until I read the list in Reverend Ezekiel's post (thank you again Rev!) was I able to truly understand why I felt so strongly against it.  I just knew I hated it, I hated it a lot!

I spend the majority of my days calling into NPR, and posting/responding to blogs and message boards about this abomination.  Since being put on SSI for chronic fatigue six years ago I have nothing but time!  Time I spend trying to fight the good Lord's fight!  Time I spend trying to get the message out that being different is wrong!  Period!  Now that the Lord has so graciously enlightened me (through the good Rev.'s post) the next time I'm confronted by some dirty liberal as to why my outlook seems so narrow I will be able to fire back with one of these gems!  And now, thanks to me, you can too!

I can't tell you how many times a day I have some low-life big-city hipster try to debate me on this unnatural marriage issue!  Prior to having this list in hand, my only argument has been that the bible says it's wrong and therefore it is!  Granted, this SHOULD be THE ONLY argument that is EVER needed for ANYTHING, EVER!  Shockingly, just as I am sure you have witnessed; unsaved, hell-bound souls just don't want to just accept this! 

Nope, those left-wing, deviant, homos always want to argue!  "Where does it say that?" they ask.  "Doesn't it also say that if a woman has sex during her period she should be stoned to death?  If God made us in his image does that mean that he is gay too?  Aren't all sins created equal and isn't it a sin to judge others?  Isn't that what YOU are doing right now?  SINNING?!  Is God angry that you are trying to take over his job of righteous/hateful/all-knowing/judge of humanity?' 

Ridiculous arguments.  Satan's arguments. 

They say, "Kala, why are you so obnoxiously vocal about a subject you know nothing about?  Kala, why have you done absolutely zero research prior to spewing your thought"?  Oh they think they are so smart! They think they are better than me!  Just because I grew up in a trailer with an alcoholic mom, absentee father, and had to bring government cheese to school for lunch. Guess what though butt-pirates?!  I was saved!  And you weren't!  Who will be laughing on Judgement Day you communist fags?!  Who will be laughing then?!  Oh golly, I can't wait for Judgement Day!

I apologize for that rant.  That was the devil trying to destroy all the good work that Jesus is doing in my life. 

I will pray that everyone can be saved like I have been.  That they too can know the peace and sheer joy this amazing gift has brought me!

My brothers and sisters, this all important fight to save OUR marriage continues!  We are now freshly armed Warriors!  Armed with an arsenal of righteous reasons as to why THE GAYS SHOULD NOT MARRY!  Quote them often as I have begun to do.  Next time the devil/'a liberal' puts you to the test quote any of them!  I am especially fond of  #3 - Gay marriage leads to pet marriage!  OH PRAISE YE, THAT YE WILL SURE SHUT THOSE FILTHY CARPET MUNCHERS RIGHT UP!  

I almost feel sorry for them!  Those damned, dirty shameful, pathetic, sinners.  ALMOST.  OH, LOL! ;-)

Friends in Christ, USE THIS GIFT I HAVE BESTOWED ON YOU OFTEN AND FREELY!

I will pray that we complete our mission of never letting those twisted heathens know the total and complete bliss that is marriage!  Never let them legally wed their beloved and then we can chastise them for living in sin!  Oh the JOY!

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

• 25 - Number of times per day I request prayers for myself.

• 24 - Number of times per day those prayers are requested through facebook.  As in, "I am having a hard time thinking of what I should make for dinner.  I could really use your prayers!"

• 15 - Number of times per day I tell someone that I will be praying for them.

• 15 - Number of times per day those promises are made through facebook.  As in, "Oh Lisa, I SO know what you are going through!  I have NO idea what to make for dinner either!  You will DEFINITELY be in my prayers!"

• 10 - Number of times (out of ten) a heathen would call these facebook prayer requests shallow and attention-starved.  How silly and sad those heathens are!  They have no idea about the true power of prayer!

• 5 - Number of friends I have had to leave behind (like Jesus will) when they responded to said requests with some variation of, "You will be in my thoughts".  The correct answer obviously has nothing to do with thoughts!

• 1 - Number of cents I would wager that all whom claim to be Christian are actually following through on these faceless oops, I mean, facebook requests.

Help keep facebook prayer-request status-updates alive!

Immediately request 10 prayers to know pure Christlike Love!

Request 5 prayers over the next couple of days to know Christ!

Request no prayers and KNOW NO LOVE!

Yours in Christ, 

Kala

You know what has always driven me nuts?  It's those people that have their 'things'.  It doesn't matter what it is, from a sports team, to Diet Coke, to Coach brand handbags.  They take a product, person, place, whatever, and blindly make it their whole identity.  It is not until later in life, when many these people get together, under the roof of a religion, does the problem become serious.

It starts out innocently enough.  Maybe it's that kid in your class that loved Mickey Mouse.  The kid had a Mickey lunch box, T-shirt, book-bag, etc.  He couldn't tell you why he liked Mickey, or even any one thing in particular that he liked about him, just the he liked him.  It was his 'thing'.  At some point his mom probably decided that it was cute if she made little Timmy into a 'Mickey Kid'.  That way, if one of her friends at bible study were going to Disneyland she could say, 'Oh my little Timmy, he just LOVES his Mickey!  I don't know what I am going to do with that little bugger!', and feel like she had some sort of ownership over all things Disney.  

As for little Timmy, the 'thing' problem was still pretty harmless but Timmy was going to grow up into an adult.

In my late teens/early twenties this problem not only continued, it got more prevalent.  It seemed more and more people, took hold of more and more 'things'.  They became far more serious about their ownership of said, 'thing'.  I had this guy at work that just loved the Mariners and all things related.  He would make it known, pretty much upon introduction, that man, oh man, did he ever LOVE those Mariners!  There was that chick that LOVED Orlando Bloom.  Her e-mail address was something like iloveorlando@.  She would sit in chat rooms all day telling everyone how SHE was his biggest fan.  Or there was the lady who loved all things M&M.  We once went on a team building trip to Vegas and she would do nothing but hang out at the M&M factory.  I don't think she even enjoyed the factory after the first hour but that didn't matter.  It was her 'thing' and she had to show us all how much it was hers.   Even if that meant wasting her entire trip there, bored to tears.

Although these people annoyed the shit out of me, it was still a harmless practice.

Here is where the problem comes in; these people are now adults.  They have joined, or become more active in, their church.  They have let go of their individual 'things' to take hold of the churches 'things'.  There is a switch from having a 'thing' that they love, to having a 'thing' that they hate.  Do you know what they hate?  Abortion, gay marriage and liberals.  Simple as that.  Miss iloveorlando@ has now become chselife4bby@.  Mariner games have gave way to Promise Keepers.  Like little Timmy, they can't tell you why they hate it, or really anything in particular about it all.  Just that they hate it.

How can an entire group of people all have the exact same hateful passion?  How in the hell does believing in Jesus, who taught about love and acceptance, have one fucking thing to do with being a republican?  I do not see the correlation between Jesus and any of these issues.  Yet they are an entire HUGE group of people acting as though the first lines in the bible read, "Jesus says, 'No abortion.  Marriage is between a man and a woman only.  Vote Republican.  You may pick and choose at will through the remainder of this Book".

Don't get me wrong, I am not even trying to insinuate that I have a clue as to how Jesus would weigh in on these issues.  I am just saying that they don't either.

I didn't have many questions for M&M girl or Mariner guy.  Their 'things' weren't important, they didn't effect me.  These new ones are, and do.  They effect us all.  Even if they could not produce an answer, I would love for them to at least consider the following -

Regarding Abortion (and their burning desire to ban it under all circumstances) - 

Foremost, why is this even a concern for you?  Do you need it banned because God needs a mere mortals help in deciding life and death issues?  Does He not have this one covered?   Does He not possess this power to decide if a life is to be born (or extinguished)?  Is it that you lack faith in His power or is it arrogance in your own?

When people die, don't you say, 'They are in a better place, God needed them more than we do and God has called them home?'  If you believe this, why would you even want/force anyone to come here instead of that, 'better place'?  That seems cruel.  Cruel that you would want to take away their chance to walk with Lord in the Kingdom of Heaven, without ever having to endure the sufferings of Earth.  And crueler, since their sufferings here on Earth, on average, will far surpass the norm.  Possibly born to a mother that is not ready emotionally or financially to be a mom?  Born with birth defects, possibly severe?  Many reasons.  If and until, you and Sarah Pallin are ready to insure these kids do not have to suffer the consequences of your will, it does not seem very Christian of you to try to enforce it.  Second, what happened to the 'God needed them and called them home' part?  Is it again that God needs your help?  If I were Him, you guys would really be starting to tick me off.

I had two extremely close (of the BFF variety), childhood friends became 'born again' a few years back.  We are no longer friends.  Not because I rejected them for changing so drastically, but because I would not change with them (the fact that they kept telling me my grandparents are in hell was an added bonus).  Getting back to my question - both of these friends had abortions in their teens, and both immediately upon becoming Christian many years later, became vocal opponents of it.  You become born again - you hate abortion and think being gay is a choice.  No ifs and or buts.  Anywho, according to them, thanks in part to their decisions to have abortions, did these woman find their way to the Lord.  I have to assume their story is not an unusual one.  Here is my question (finally) - why would you want to take this same path to finding Him away from another woman?  Again, why do you think God needs your help?  He couldn't help change a woman's mind if He so chose?  He couldn't have a chat with her?  You are always bragging about how he talks to you...

You say that you are so pro-life right?  Every life is just so fucking precious to you right?  These fetus's are innocent so they need your protection right?  Well then how can you be PRO WAR?  Where is your 'every life is precious' in that case?  Innocent children get killed in war too you morons.  It doesn't make any sense. 

I am not even going to get into the other two 'things'.  Being against gay marriage is so asinine in my book that it doesn't even merit argument.  Loving Jesus equating to being a Republican is also such a ridiculous notion that it too, is without argument.

Socrates said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'.  Is it is fair to say that the unexamined blind following of anything, be it an idea/notion/religion/'THING', is not worth following?

These people with their 'things' used to annoy me.  Now I feel sorry for them.  It is truly embarrassing that they mindlessly adhere to manufactured notions, so obviously unexamined.  Embarrassing that they then shout out their ignorance to the world.

I am not bitter though.  Nope, not at all.

Association for Smokers Humiliation - 

Ostracizing Smokers for More Than 10 Years!

Hello friends:

We have had another great quarter here at A.S.H!  We hope this letter finds you all well.

As we have discussed - nobody likes smokers.  We don't like anything about them.  Nobody does.  Their friends, family members, even their own mothers in many cases, have turned their back on them.  Jesus did a long time ago.  

With how ridiculously 'P.C.' the liberal hippies have gotten this country, it is no longer 'acceptable' to be openly prejudiced, EXCEPT against these dirty, nasty, disease ridden smokers!  Hallelula!  I can not think of another group of people we are allowed to, no, encouraged to, discriminate against!  I feel so blessed when I get to walk right up to a smoker, shake my head, and hiss 'disgusting'.  Do I get to do this to one of those weird Canadians?  Not anymore I don't!  Only smokers.  We can pat ourselves on the back for this one folks.  We told society that these ash-mounds are soulless demons deserving of respect, and for once society agreed!

We have done a good job so far.  The Lord is smiling.  But we must remain vigilant.  

Here is where we stand on our 'To Do' List-

Strip them of their dignity -

Oh how much do you just LOL when you see them standing out in the rain 40 feet from the building - alone?  Boy oh boy, do I ever get a kick out of that!

Make them pay -

Can you say SCHIP my brothers? http://www.heritage.org/Research/HealthCare/wm1548.cfm

We have done some excellent work here folks!  We have them paying for healthcare but not to help them quit smoking!  What a riot!  Now we can't have our little cash cow quitting on us, god forbid!  They may be subhuman but their money is still green!

Make them pay period.  Willy nilly style.  Cuz we can! -

MARSHFIELD - People who smoke on the beach can now be fined $25 if caught.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- State employees are facing a $600 surcharge that goes into effect next year for everyone in the employee health system who smokes or has a smoker for a spouse.

Alienate -

We have done a mighty fine job here my friends!  The seeds of our labor have sprouted into majestic trees of righteousness!  These tactless sinners have been shunned from just about everywhere (and everyone).  With the the, 'KEEP OUT YOU FILTHY ANIMALS'  list getting longer by the minute, we will have these 'people' (if you can call them that) rounded up 'leper style' before you know it!

SALINA, Kan. (AP) - Salina's tougher smoking ban will begin Saturday, despite an effort by opponents to encourage city commissioners to delay or repeal the new rules.

Deprecate -

Like I previously stated, these vagrants are despised by all.  I was over on this new internets web called you tube (if you haven't been there you should check it out!) looking up funny cat videos and I came across something very encouraging.  A guy from that American Idol show had a homemade video where he is at a piano singing and he has a cancer-stick set down beside him burning.  The encouraging part is the comments that were left for him.  One person after another, making reference to that cigarette.  From telling him to quit, to how disgusting it is, to how they don't like him anymore.  They were doing our work for us friends, letting that nasty smoker know that even if he is of age, in his own home, not breaking the law, not actually even smoking, they do not approve.  They are the righteous majority, they are in, he is out, exiled from the group, beneath them.  

Here is an example of one the comments  -   Well done 0Faren!  Well done!

0FarenHight (3 weeks ago) Show Hide

 -1

Reply | Spa

I love your music!!!!!!!!!!! but seeing you smoke makes me gag and makes me or every one else not like you... i am sorry but its the truth.

Still To Do -

We have had many successes, in all areas, but we are not finished.  They still have some legal rights and WE MUST TAKE THEM BACK!  We cannot stop until every last liberty is stripped away from these plagued, stinky, anti-American, sin mongrels!

Until next month.

God Bless,

Kala

Don't forget to mark your calendar for these upcoming events -

6/1

3rd Annual

Gay?  No Way!  God will help you Straight Away!  Spa Night (Men Only Please!) 

Pastor Dickies house 7pm

Don't forget to bring your bathing suit!

6/23

Fat People - Our Next Target or just gross?

8pm @ the Denny's off Sprague