Dear Gov. Perry
- Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security these are now completely on you. You do have the option of doing away with them completely of course. I mean really they do kinda smack of socialism.
- Good news. You do get to bring all the citizens of the great nation of Texas home who are presently in the Armed Forces of the United States no matter where they are presently stationed. Truth is you are going to need them which brings me to #5.
- Need help along your border with Mexico because of the Mexican Drug Cartels. Deal with it.
- We will also be shuttering all the US Military bases within your nation and taking all the associated equipment with us when we leave. You are free to make an offer to purchase.
- Now as to your colleges and universities. A couple of things, no more Federal loans to Texas citizens attending colleges or universities, either inside your borders or out. Research grants from the Federal Government, yes those are gone. Oh I almost forgot they are out of the NCAA too.
- Since we are trying out this whole sovereign nation thing, please remember you are not party to the current NAFTA agreement. So while we negotiate one that may include The Nation of Texas anything you produce and export to the US will be subject to the appropriate tariffs.
- Your citizens by the way will need passports and will suffer the same indignities and hassles all foreign nationals receive when entering the US. In fact we will probably have too temporarily put every Texan on a watch list, just to be on the safe side.
I know I have forgotten a number of things, but we'll add to the list as they present themselves.
I'll give you a call in six months jut to see how it's going. This assumes you haven't been tarred, feathered and run out of your country on a rail.
Cheers and Good luck!
Steve
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9) Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
April 16, 2009 10:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
10) Better get the Cowboys familiar with kicking a round ball, and FISA rules.
April 16, 2009 10:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Err,,, that's FIFA, not FISA. Although both might be relevant.
April 16, 2009 10:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
Excellent!
April 16, 2009 11:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Wait, what about Tena? We have to get her out first.
April 16, 2009 11:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
Tena has a place in NM. She'll be fine.
April 16, 2009 5:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
When I'm in a funk, I can think of several other states I'd like to consider the proposition. All of them, strangely enough receive more federal money returned to them than they pay in federal taxes.
Hmmm....they tried it once before, as I remember.
Amike.
p.s. I'm not in a funk at the moment...but Sanford and Barbour could ease me into one if they tried hard enough.
April 16, 2009 11:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm campaigning to support secession.
Once Perry, General of the Confederacy of Cons, along with Adviser Bush the puppet behind the puppet), Captain Delay, and Treasurer Gramm have succeeded in seceding, the ordinary common-sense Texans (a majority) will petition to join the Union.
The tea-baggers will make a last stand but not at the Alamo as San Antonio would never support secession. They will probably be welcomed in Bush Country (Midland-Odessa) and of course can wander the West Texas desert in glorious, federally unfettered, tax-free freedom.
April 16, 2009 1:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wouldn't that be Con-federacy of dunces?
April 16, 2009 4:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
:)
(Or NeoConfederacy)
April 16, 2009 5:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
That'll work.
April 16, 2009 5:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hope you sent a message or two to Howard Dean about this too, back in the day....
No? Vermont doesn't ring any bells?
Didn't think so.
April 16, 2009 2:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes I do remember and it that was just as silly.
You know Lalo there are times you can be a bit of a bore and completely lacking anything that even remotely resembles a sense of humor.
April 16, 2009 2:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
And there are other times when he's just an annoying nuisance.
April 16, 2009 6:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
I've yet to see any comment from you that will convince me that you're not a former prison guard.
All you ever say is whether or not someone is a nuisance or a troll. Get a life, or find yourself another blog. Better yet - do yourself a favor and ignore me.
April 17, 2009 9:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
Perry can take his hair on the road, like Blaggo, after K. Bailey Hutchinson kicks his butt in the next election. Yeah, I too find it amazing that I would cheer for her election!
April 16, 2009 3:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ha! Blaggo and Perry can meet at a Bob's Big Boy and share a chocolate shake while their Big Boy hair-dos debate who made the most money selling their governorships. I'd like to see Kay Baily Hutchinson's hair eat Perry's for breakfast in the primary, but it's time Texas returned to its Democratic roots.
April 16, 2009 4:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'll have to agree Don, we're going blue a year early.
April 16, 2009 6:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
And that high speed rail President Obama debuted today? You'll have to pay for your own connecting line if you want one.
April 16, 2009 4:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, we'll have to reconstitute our nation's space program without the Johnson Space Center, but no more Dallas Cowboys in the NATIONAL Football League sounds like a net gain.
April 16, 2009 10:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
9. The citizens that remain after the ones with an ounce of common sense pack up and head north, regrettably abandoning the state they love so much. This includes Kay Bailey Hutchinson, so
10. You won't get your ass kicked out of office and can declare yourself President for Life.
April 16, 2009 10:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
When I was five years old, my mom did something that pissed me off. I don't remember what it was. That's not important. What's important is that I was really, really, pissed off. I was even more angry that she ignored the withering glances I was throwing her way. So, I packed some of my things inside of a white pillow case and announced I was running away. My mom was vacuuming the stairs. She turned off the vacuum to say good-bye, which pissed me off even more.
So, with a five-year old's determination, I set off, sans shoes. As I marched down the sidewalk, away from our apartment, I turned around every few feet to make sure my mom was following me. She was. I turned a corner, then turned another corner. I wasn't allowed to cross the street by myself, so my directional options were limited.
I came upon a very muddy spot, where the roots of a tree were just starting to come up through the sidewalk. I decided it would be a good time for a nap, so I put my belongs-filed, white pillow case down in the dirt and laid down on top of it.
Mom caught up with me, picked me up, and took me home. As far as I know, she never held the muddy socks and pillow case against me.
My point is my five-year-old temper tantrum looks mature compared to all the posturing the conservatives are currently engaged in. I think it's hilarious and I'm enjoying it immensely.
Sometime after my fifth birthday, my parents started teaching me not to be a sore loser. I guess that's a message the conservatives didn't hear.
April 16, 2009 10:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
No offense to Texans, but we might be better off with the rightwing states all gone. They can go get in wars and become failed corrupt oligarchies with no taxes and extreme pollution and gun violence. We'd just need to build a huge wall so that they don't try to sneak in to *our* country from their burned out hellscape.
April 16, 2009 11:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's funny, these rightwing conservatives -- why do they hate America so much??
April 16, 2009 11:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Steinbeck has them pegged, I think.
=D
April 17, 2009 7:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think I will join Steinbeck's org. :)
April 17, 2009 9:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
=D
He married a Texan.
April 17, 2009 12:40 PM | Reply | Permalink