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Groundhog Cheney Rears Its Ugly Head
The "still President" Dick Cheney addressed a kindergarten class on Monday, February 2nd after emerging from his undisclosed location. In his prepared comments, he forecast six more weeks of winter. He is seen here responding to a question from one of the students who remarked that groundhogs have bigger teeth and are "cuter."
"I eat kids bigger than you fer breakfast, ya little fucking pantywaist," he said, offering the trademark Cheney grin. He then led the class in the pledge of allegiance, and all complied.
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"6 more weeks of winter"
That reminds me of C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. The wicked witch who had made it "always winter and never Christmas."
I hope Justice is served and the long winter of our discontent is adequately paid for. Perhaps a picture like this could be waiting for cheney when he gets to his prison cell.
Excellent short blog!
February 4, 2009 12:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Always winter; never Christmas"
What an apt description of the life Cheney would wish for us all. I cannot think of anyone more worthy of the contempt that awaits him as history places the last eight years in perspective.
Meanwhile, I could only hope that a cell in some secret offshore prison was awaiting him as well. Imagine a knock on the door in the middle of the night. "Mr. Cheney, Justice awaits" says the leader of the rendition team of anonymous men that greet him on his doorstep. And Cheney is never seen nor heard from again.
Ah, Christmas!
February 4, 2009 1:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Or it could be the grim reaper: Mr. Cheney, Justice awaits!
Either way... I like the image. A knock on the door in the night!
February 4, 2009 1:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Brrrrrrrr! When Bush got back from Russia and reveled in looking into Putin's soul, I was seriously disturbed. The guy is KGB. Their policy is to knock on people's doors in the middle of the night. We were a one party government for a couple of years there, and I watched as the practices of the government crept closer to the Soviet/Tsarist style of autocracy.
Make no mistake, if we are to be different, and I sound like JEM here, I know, we need to take Cheney out onto the lawn in the clear light of day and announce his crimes before putting him in a place with which we are all familiar. From there we should have a video camera of his life so people will know how well we treated him during his final days and that we do not torture. We could serve him the same items on that menu he was so proud to read to the press.
February 4, 2009 2:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Gregor, we can only hope your wish comes true before the Grim Reaper appears.
February 4, 2009 3:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah, well remember, w's pater had once been head of the CIA.
February 4, 2009 10:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sleepin, not till just now did I get the "reference" to "rears its ugly head." How fitting. SP and "always winter." And cheney, all wrapped up in one!
February 4, 2009 1:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great picture Sleepin'. He is such an evil man. And he got away with all of it, except for Rummy of course.
February 4, 2009 1:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Whaddaya' mean, dd? Last I looked Rummy AND Cheney were still walking (rolling?) the streets as free men! (Using that last noun quite loosely, of course!) They both got away with it... so far.
Glad you enjoyed it. When you really think about it, Cheney truly is a classic terrorist. (Maybe the subject for another blog entry)
February 4, 2009 1:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I meant that the last two years his partner in crime was absent. Rummy and Cheney are millionaires and allowed to speak their minds and get paid for it.
February 4, 2009 1:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
We ought to be going after Rummy too! No doubt about it!
February 4, 2009 8:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
To take down Cheney, I'd suggest this guy.
February 4, 2009 1:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Au contraire!
As a fan of the University of Wisconsin, I can tell you that wolverines are wusses! This guy would be more appropriate for the task at hand, especially given the venomous nature of the quarry. (Be certain to check out the last minute of the video.)
February 4, 2009 2:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm convinced, SJ. This is the cellmate for cheney!
February 4, 2009 2:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
You college boys talk nonsense. Sure honey badgers are tough, the meanest in Africa, but snakes, bees and rodents? Wolverines kill cougars, wolves, moose and and bears. So look, why don't we just avoid a scrap here amnd concentrate on the common foe. Badgers are the toughest... in Africa. And the Wolverines, in North America.
And no, there are no bowl games. (Though tag-teaming Cheney would be fine with me.)
P.S. BTW, the Weasel FAMILY - of which BOTH are members - do not appreciate your attempt to divide them, one against the other.
February 4, 2009 3:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
And ice weasels the toughest of all! But you already knew that.
Okay. I will agree to the compromise. Badgers are the toughest... in Africa and the Big Ten. And the Wolverines, in North America. Deal!
February 4, 2009 3:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nice little addition there - "Big Ten." Ha!
February 4, 2009 3:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
it is of no use Sleepin', that is,
attempting to argue with a guy who likes comic books.
February 4, 2009 8:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Weasel family! Ok, so long as cheney's cellmate is a weasel then. I doubt the weasel family member will need to spend much time there actually. And besides I'm all for wild animals being free!
February 4, 2009 3:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
That would only add another species to the endangered list.
February 4, 2009 11:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is cheney a species?
February 4, 2009 11:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
weasels
February 5, 2009 12:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
I say, "Draft them!" They got out of it when it mattered; let them go through basic training, and if they survive (doubtful) send them to the front in one of their hyped up wars.
What could be more fitting?
Frankly, I'd love to see Dick going mano a mano in his wheelchair with OBL with his dialysis machine! I'd like to see who would win, but I don't actually have many doubts. (Of course since they would both cheat, that could throw the results and make it more interesting.)
February 4, 2009 7:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Talk about gladiators!
New Reality series: Disabled fighters duke it out!
February 4, 2009 7:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Or should that be: Disable Dudes Duke it out?
February 4, 2009 8:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Are "First Dudes" included? Call Ticketmaster, I'll take a couple.
February 4, 2009 10:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
I cede all rights to the show to you, SJ!
February 4, 2009 10:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
mano a mano? Methinks mebbe you'd be half right, anyway.
February 4, 2009 9:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
How creative. Just which kindergarten did you say you are attending?
February 4, 2009 7:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
And how creative in your reply there, prick! You've done yourself proud, but I'll trump you by saying "Oh, yeah? Well yer mother wears combat boots."
Yeah, that's the ticket!
Let's see... spric, renaye, YIKES!, and now spriche. Must be quite a family reunion going on in that head, and evidence shows it's pretty well inbred at that.
February 4, 2009 10:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
.
Hmmmm . . .
It's baaaaackkk ? ? ?
~OGD~
February 4, 2009 10:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
spric - did have any trouble learning how to make those license plates?
February 4, 2009 11:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
" . . . Undisclosed location". A cave in Afghanistan, perhaps?
February 4, 2009 8:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
That location can now be disclosed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyUE2mpw7bI
February 4, 2009 10:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
There's just very little that could be said or done by anyone that could exaggerate the ugliness of Dick Cheney's soul.
February 5, 2009 11:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
Indeed!
Which makes it pretty fortunate, I guess, that it is so difficult to even FIND Cheney's soul.
He so much reminds me of this guy, only with an even more sinister and more practiced presentation that lends faux gravitas to the nonsense he utters.
In my dreams, I can almost hear the click of the ball bearings as Cheney takes the stand. He is as contemptible and as despicable as anyone I have ever known. And that's true if you only consider his GOOD parts!
February 5, 2009 12:26 PM | Reply | Permalink