Jan Tessier's Blog

A Working Class Hero Is Something To See

2010-08-13T07:05:51Z

Much has already been written about former Jet Blue flight attendant, Scott Slater, and his final huzzah from his job. I admit that I, too, felt a sense of fellowship with the man who exited the airplane on an emergency chute after yelling an expletive to the passenger to hit him on the head with her luggage. Working people across the country have applauded Slater's dramatic resignation and expressed support for him. It's the old "Take this job and shove it" that appeals to anyone to has had a service job. Although he is facing serious legal charges for deploying an emergency chute and violating government flight regulations, Slater has captured the nation's imagination. Across the country, people are wishing they could do what he has done: Give the finger to those people who are rude, inconsiderate, hateful, and nasty to those of us who have to deal with them in the course of our working day.

In my life, I've held any number of jobs that required me to work with the public; everything from waitress to bartender to cab driver to store clerk. The stories of rude and inconsiderate customers is legion. I am not alone. My fellow service workers recount hundreds of instances in which people have behaved badly, and sometimes violently, at their places of business. One woman with whom I worked at a convenience store recounted an encounter with a store patron who threw a cup of frozen drink in her face. A milk delivery man said to me: "I'm generally a nice guy, but if people act like assholes, I'm going to be an asshole back. People these days have a sense of entitlement. They think they can do anything they want and get away with it."

In the last few years, I've noticed an upward trend in incivility---and that's putting it mildly. In today's economy, most people can't just flip off their job as easily as Scott Slater did. Many of us are struggling to support ourselves, let alone family, and whatever jobs we can take are necessary. Yet, the stress of dealing with nasty customers takes its toll, and many of us wish we could just walk out and never come back. When I was still driving cab, I encountered many college kids who came from wealthy or upper middle class families who felt that they were entitled to do anything they wanted, particularly if they were dealing with someone in a service position. No one had taught them to treat others as they wanted to be treated. This was a generation of selfish, self-centered brats who thought nothing of swearing at store clerks or treating cab drivers as if they were chattel. Anyone from the grocery store worker to the hair salon stylist to the lady behind the counter at their local convenience store were targets for their disdain and hatefulness.

This is still happening, and it's not just the children of rich or upper middle class families, either. It's all manner of folks from all walks of life and all economic classes. Simple compassion should dictate that all people should be treated with dignity and respect, but that old edict has fallen by the wayside in favor of a coarser, nastier philosophy that dictates "If I'm spending money here, you have to take whatever shit I give you."

Granted, the stresses of our nation's economy tanking and joblessness have put most of us on edge, but that doesn't excuse anyone from swearing at some poor girl at the checkout counter. It doesn't excuse any of us from taking out our frustrations on others just like us. We're all in the same boat, and it's only right that we all man the oars equally and cut each other some slack. The targets of our anger and frustration should be those politicians in Washington that are waging war on our jobs, our homes, and our hopes for the future. It's THOSE PEOPLE we should be directing our rage at---not the guy delivering newspapers or the flight attendant trying to assist you.

So, in honor of those who work in the service industries, I ask that all of us try to remember to treat them with kindness. Do unto others, etc. If you're pissed off about your flight being delayed or your money not going as far at the grocery store or being inconvenienced by anything---take it out on the higher ups. Don't swear at the woman working forty hours a week on her feet waiting on you.

A Drunk Is A Drunk Is A Drunk

2010-07-10T15:48:08Z

I don't know Mel Gibson, but I do.

Sounds paradoxical, but it's true. I don't know him in any personal way, but I know what he has become. He's a drunk. An alcoholic.

It doesn't take a shrink, a doctor, or an AODA counselor to make that diagnosis. Just as we have all watched Lindsay Lohan spiral down into a life of arrests, lost work, and now jail, we are seeing Mel Gibson's career dying along with the life he once had.

The old saying "The bigger they are---the harder they fall" applies to Mel's downfall. In the groups I attend to keep myself sober, it would be more like: "The bigger they are---the harder it is for them to get sober." I read the articles about Mel's bad behavior: Racist rants, nasty words, violence, and destroyed relationships. I read them and I think about my own downward decent into hell through my drinking. It brought me to joblessness, homelessness, and hopelessness. I was ready to kill myself. I planned my death. Something like a miracle prevented me from completing my plan, and I ended up involved with "those people"---the ones that meet in groups and don't drink. They took me in hand and showed me how to stand up, walk right, and live a decent life. They showed me how to make amends to those I had harmed, and how to be honest.

With all his money and connections, Mel Gibson is going to have a harder time reaching that place where he has no other way to look but up. It isn't always necessary to lose everything in order to get sober, but there has to be a level of despair and surrender in order for one to recognize their sickness and be willing to do something about it. It's the proverbial "hitting bottom" that people mention in recovery. If Mel ever reaches a bottom, he may be able to quit drinking and recognize that he has become an asshole. I was an asshole. I had a lot of personality traits, ideas, beliefs, and behaviors that people found offensive---and I had to be willing to confront the truth about myself and be willing to change. In psychiatric circles, it's referred to as "the collapse of the ego". In the moment that I surrendered and admitted I was wrong, and that I was an alcoholic---my ego died.

I've read that Mel is a staunch Catholic. Perhaps he has read C.S. Lewis. If so, then he would remember a line from a C.S. Lewis book: "Die before you die...there is no other chance."

Hey, Andy Sere of the National Republican Congressional Committee...

2009-12-10T10:55:28Z

STFU.

Signed,
Foul-mouthed Fans Of Alan Grayson :)

Taxi 101

2009-11-01T05:21:42Z

I cannot claim to be an expert in any field except the cab industry, and even then, my experience is limited to the industry as it is practiced in Madison, Wisconsin, although I've spoken to cabbies in other parts of the country as well.

Even with this limited experience, I can offer some tips (excuse the pun) to people who ride in taxicabs or ever want to get a taxicab to take them somewhere. Let us first start with the DON'Ts:

1. DON'T ever mention robbery or crime to a cabbie. It makes them nervous. Don't ask them if they've ever been robbed or if they worry about being robbed. The answer in both cases is likely to be "Yes" and they get jumpy when passengers bring the topic up because it makes them think YOU are going to rob them.

2. DON'T call a cab company to request a taxi if you don't have exact addresses of where you are and where you are going and how many people in your party. Every company is slightly different, but ALL of them need to know where you are exactly, where you are going exactly, and how many people. They will also need a working phone number and a name. Don't call them until you have all the proper information. Depending on the company, if you call up and start babbling to your friends: "How many of us are going?" while the taxi man/woman is on the phone, they may just hang up on you.

3. DON'T be an asshole. If you are drunk and obnoxious, the cabbie will kick your ass to the curb. If you are some privileged little shit from a wealthy family and you think you can treat a cab driver like your private little servant, he/she will pull over and kick your privileged little ass out of the car. Your money don't mean shit to cabbies if you're an asshole, got that?

4. DON'T ask a cabbie to do something illegal for you because you might be talking to an undercover cop.

5. DON'T touch a cab driver. Some cabbies have been robbed, and you might end up with a knife in your face if you put a hand on one. The only time you should have any physical contact with your cab driver is when you hand them a tip.

Which brings me to the DO part of this blog:

1. DO tip your cabbie. I suggest that if you happen to get a friendly, polite, clean, knowledgeable, safe and honest cabbie, tip generously. They are bucking the stereotype of cabbies everywhere and it's good karma to reward them.

2. DO feel free to ask your cabbie questions about the city you are in. If you are lucky enough to get a cabbie like the one mentioned above, you will get a little history lesson and tips on where you can get a good meal, among other lore. Some cabbies like to feel they are encyclopedias on wheels.

3. DO feel free to call a company and complain if you experience a bad driver. Safety is a big thing with many companies, since their insurance rates are based on such factors. I've had bad cab drivers myself, including one that was drunk, so I don't have any problem ratting out a bad one. They give the good ones like me and my co-workers a bad name.

4. DO feel free to call and compliment a driver if you get an exceptionally good one. In many companies, that helps toward a higher rate of commission for drivers.

Thanks for reading this, and I hope everyone had an enjoyable Halloween.

A Rapist By Any Other Name

2009-10-02T07:35:07Z

What do Whoopi Goldberg, Jon Landis, and Martin Scorsese all have in common? They're all idiots that I won't be paying any attention to ever again.

They are just three of the many Hollywood celebrities jumping on the Roman Polanski bandwagon, falling all over each other to gush out praise and charity for a man who raped a child. HE RAPED A CHILD. Okay? The child was thirteen years old and Roman Polanksi raped her. What part of that don't these people get?

I discounted Woody Allen's opinion because I forgot him when he decided to screw his own stepdaughter. Of course, HE'D stick up for Polanski. Perverts Unanimous.

It's astounding that people would defend this sonuvabitch. I'm becoming more and more convinced the planet is doomed.

A Message For Joy Behar

2009-09-29T10:14:07Z

Hey, Joy!

You made the claim that alcoholics tend to be crazy once they quit drinking, and that they find other addictions to substitute for the booze.

I just wanted to say to you that I quit drinking and using drugs over fourteen years ago. I also gave up gambling. I quit smoking in May of this year. I have stopped overeating since the beginning of summer.

Don't lump me and my fellow recovering drunks in the same category as Glenn Beck, k? Just don't. Some of us might go through some crazy shit while we're in early recovery, but if we do what we're supposed to do, we eventually get better. Some of us actually become mindful and thoughtful citizens. Some of us go on to become successful and productive members of society.

Beck represents the percentage of drunks who might stop boozing, but they don't do a damn thing about personal growth, and they certainly don't have any moral guidance. We call those folks "dry drunks". So, from now on, Joy---when you again feel like pontificating on a subject you're not informed about---just keep in mind that making up shit about a group of people doesn't make you any better than Beck.

Thank you.

Forgiveness: What Is It?

2009-09-26T11:16:02Z

The recent death of Susan Atkins led me to contemplation about forgiveness.

When the book, "Helter Skelter" by Vincent Bugliosi was published, I was a teenager. A friend of mine got the paperback version and lent it to me. I read it from cover to cover, and suffered nightmares as a result. In particular, the vicious and evil murder of Sharon Tate and her unborn child haunted me. Susan Atkins' crime was, to my mind, worthy of the death penalty.

Well, in a way, Susan Atkins got the death penalty. Not as quickly as the victims' families would have liked, but she died, in prison. I can't feel any sympathy for Atkins. I don't think it matters if anyone felt sympathy for her. The only people who can forgive Atkins are those whose loved ones were murdered by Atkins and her cohorts. What I or anyone else feels about it is moot.

Which leads me to the whole idea of forgiveness. What is it? Over the years, I have read a great deal about it and heard from many people how to achieve it, but there are still crimes in my own life that I cannot forgive; I can't let those perpetrators go into the clouds of letting go that forgiveness allegedly allows. There are things I have done that I cannot forgive myself for, despite the assurances of people that some kind of a god forgives me. I struggle with the whole god thing as well.

I am sensitive to the notion that forgiveness is not a feeling. Just as I know that love is a verb, not a noun, I am aware that it isn't necessary to feel forgiveness to experience it. There are times when it is required of me to act with love no matter what I happen to be feeling at the moment, so the act of forgiving doesn't require me to express any heartfelt emotions toward the forgivee. I merely have to act in accordance with the idea that I am letting go of whatever bad feelings I have had toward this or that individual. I get this. I get this concept.

What is forgiveness to you? What have you been taught about it? Do you have instances in which forgiveness was shown to you or you have shown it to others? I'm interested in hearing what you all might have to say on the subject.

In time, I learned that part of my earning forgiveness from people was to walk the walk of change. Perhaps they only knew me as the bad person who hurt them and need to see a continous progression away from that person and a metamorphosis into a newer and better individual who has more sense and responsibility and awareness. But, ultimately...no matter what I do to regain someone's trust or to earn someone's forgiveness, it isn't up to me whether it happens. It is up to the one or ones I've harmed.

Several years ago, the relationship between my ex-husband and I was repaired by a noble act of forgiveness on both our parts. It was incumbent upon me to take the first step in repairing the relationship, since I had done the greater harm. It never occurred to me that he and I would find such a spiritual release from so much anger and pain accumulated over the years. In one shining moment, it was all released and forgiven. We have remained cordial and friendly ever since. I don't have an explanation for this event except to say that Something was guiding the both of us.

So, let me know what you feel or think about forgiveness. I'm truly fascinated to hear what others know or believe about it. Thanks to all.

Joe Wilson's Web Page

2009-09-10T07:33:40Z

Well, well. I notice that your web page is down, Representative Wilson. For maintenance? Really. Cleaning up the rotten fruit and dog turds flung at you by the thousands of people who flooded your website during and after the President's speech?

It just keeps getting uglier...

Caster Semenya And Gender Bigots

2009-08-31T19:48:51Z

In reading news articles about Caster Semenya ( http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-south-africa-runner21-2009aug21,0,5294672.story

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090831/zirin_wolf ), the South African runner who has been the subject of questions about her gender, I am taken back to the time when I was a young girl and a teenager, and then a young woman.

In 1972, at the ripe old age of fifteen, a man accused me of being a "bulldyke" (A word I'd never heard before.) because I was behaving rambunctiously with a couple of my friends who were male. I didn't know what the man meant, but his tone was obviously derogatory. My friends were embarrassed for me, but being teens themselves, didn't know how to stand up to someone much older than they. Only later did I learn what a "bulldyke" was supposed to be, and then I was frightened.

At times during my teen years, I questioned my sexuality and gender many times. I didn't like "girly" things like makeup and dressing up and sexy clothing and flirting and dolls. I liked cars and baseball and adventures and swearing and yelling and having fun in sneakers and jeans. I spoke "boyishly". My voice was not high and light and feminine. It was low and loud and boisterous and in-your-face. I was aggressive. Although my sexual preference was for men, I still wondered if I were a mistake. There was a girl in my high school who was often ridiculed because she had short hair, dressed like a boy, talked like a boy, and didn't date any boys. She was a "dyke" or a "lesbo", according to the current legends. Maybe I was more like her than I realized? It felt like insanity most of the time.

In my late teens, I met a gay couple. After establishing some sort of connection with one of the pair, whom I shall call "Calvin", I confessed my confusion to him, and my fears. He smiled while I spoke and then patted me on the leg and said: "You're not a lesbian, honey. You're a tomboy. So what? Enjoy it. Don't let people pin labels on you." His reassurance and advice began a process of understanding that liberated me from many of my own fears and prejudices, which I continue to bless him for to this day. Calvin also directed me to read books that widened my horizons, including a wonderful book which I treasure to this day: "The Left Hand Of Darkness" by Ursula K. LeGuin. It is the story of a man from Earth who is sent as an envoy to a planet upon which the inhabitants are all gender-neutral---except during short phases called "kemmer", in which their bodies choose to be male or female in order to have sex and procreate. The envoy finds it confusing to relate to these people because in our world, gender defines most things. "What is the first question that is asked when a baby is born?" After many months of living with them and learning to live with their ambiguous sexuality and seeing beyond that to their humanity, the envoy learns to see them as people---not male or female---people.

Eventually, I grew up and learned more about human sexuality, gender politics, feminism, and bigotry. I lost my own bigotry and fears by learning to relate to people---as people. I ceased worrying about whether or not I was a "real" woman in the eyes of idiots, and concentrated on being myself. In this endeavor, I had a great deal of help from gays, lesbians, transgendered people, bi-sexuals, and heterosexuals who had a clue.

I've seen and heard Semenya, and I agree that if you look at her with closed eyes and hear her with closed ears, she appears to be a man. I've read about her life and I feel a kinship with her that she, too, ran off to play with the boys as much as she could. Her mother says she's a girl, and I'm content with that. Why she should be subjected to gender tests is ridiculous, but that is the world we are in. My personal opinion is that the Olympics should cease to have mens' and womens' competitions and just make them all the same competition, but that won't happen in my lifetime.

Being human is reason enough to be loved and appreciated. Gender, race, ethnicity---these are secondary attributes. It took me years to learn to be comfortable in my own skin, and to be comfortable with others who were unlike me. It required that I love.

I love you, Caster Semenya.

Without A Leg To Stand On

2009-08-22T17:13:51Z

A year or so ago on another site in another blog, I wrote about my crippling condition and how I was coping/not coping with it. When I was thirty, I was diagnosed with arthritis in my right knee and was told to lose weight, exercise, quit smoking, and don't drink. Of course, I ignored those admonitions. I am paying for that now, at age fifty-two.

I quit drinking fourteen years ago, and quit smoking in May of this year. I have begun to slowly lose some weight. None of this has made a difference in my legs, though. They have refused to work for the last several months. My knees have become swollen, misshapen, and chronically painful. I hobble, at best. At worst, I cannot stand or walk without assistance.

Like many Americans, I am without insurance. I recently enrolled in the State of Wisconsin's version of Medicare, which is called BadgerCare. It will enable me to get some help for my legs, and other problems I am experiencing, but like so many bureaucracies, there are snarls and snafus I have to deal with that have prevented me from receiving any of the benefits of the program for now. I am trying to find a lawyer who can help me negotiate the minefield that is Social Security Disability Insurance.

Recently, I phoned the White House to express my anger at the notion that a public option was now off the table. Instead of ranting angrily, I burst into tears---something that has happened frequently of late. I cry incessantly---from the pain in my legs to the pain in my head because I am no longer capable of doing things I used to take for granted---like walking. Instead of rising enobled from this debilitating condition to become a role model for others with disabilities, I am reduced to a weeping, self-pitying, frightened woman who wonders what will become of her. The person who answered my call at the White House seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, but I felt very much as if I was just another person in a long line of people who weren't happy with the way health care reform was moving along (or not), and unhappy with the Obama administrations efforts to make national health care a reality---as promised during his campaign. The woman who took my call seemed sympathetic, but unmoved by my tears. I wonder if this has happened to others.

I don't want sympathy. I want medical care. I want to get my knees fixed. I want to work and walk and be able to bend over and pick something up off the floor without falling over and I want to be a productive member of society again. I realize there are jobs one can do sitting down, and I have some skills that would allow me to make a living that way, except that the arthritis has spread to my right wrist and I have developed carpal. I want to have my body back so I can earn my keep. I do not want to be disabled. I have fought that idea for years, and now I cannot escape it.

My story isn't unusual. I know that. I know I'm one of millions.

One of millions without health care, hope, and the right to pursue happiness.

Whole Fool: John Mackey Pretends He Didn't Mean It

2009-08-15T20:55:33Z

John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods Market, Inc., is attempting to back up from his op-ed piece on health care reform in the Wall Street Journal from August 11.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204251404574342170072865070.htm

As you can read, Mackey is against the idea of a government-run health care plan for all Americans. He believes we are already on the verge of bankruptcy (No...really.) and that Medicare is running out of money. A single-payer system for America would only increase the debt Americans are dealing with already and wouldn't be as effective as the reforms he proposes such as repealing state laws that prevent health insurers from competing across state lines and tort reform for doctors to prevent people from recovering big damages for malpractice. He suggests that we adopt, among other ideas, the type of insurance that Whole Foods offers its own employees.

In response to an e-mail I sent declaring that I would be boycotting Whole Foods because of Mackey's opposition to single-payer health care, or at the very least, the public option, I received the following e-mail from the Customer Service division of Whole Foods Market, Inc.:

"To our customers,

As you are aware, John Mackey wrote an Op/Ed piece that was published in the Wall Street Journal earlier this week on health care reform, one of the biggest and most emotional issues facing our country. John's intent was to express his personal opinions -- not those of Whole Food Market team members or our company as a whole. Still, it's very clear that John's piece offended some of our customers, other members of the communities we serve and some of our team members as well.
That was not John's intention - in fact, John does not mention the President at all in his piece. John has posted the unedited piece to his blog where people can read it as it was intended.

We offer you our sincere apology.

We'd like to clarify a few things that have been misinterpreted:

John's Op/Ed piece was written in favor of health care reform.
In response to President Obama's invitation to all Americans to put forward constructive ideas for reforming our health care system, John was asked to write an Op/Ed piece and he gave his personal opinion. John titled the piece "Health Care Reform," but an editor at the Journal rewrote the headline to call it "Whole Foods Alternative to Obamacare," which led to antagonistic feelings by many.

Whole Foods Market has no official position on the issue.
That said, we have attempted to be part of the solution in health care reform for many years by providing innovative health care options to our team members. We believe that our high deductible medical insurance plan coupled with a company-funded HSA is an excellent way to empower team members to make their own health care choices.

John wanted to share our experience with others through his Op/Ed piece.
He believes that the specific ideas he put forward would improve access and cost of health care for more people. Because our plan has held down overall costs (relative to other plans), Whole Foods Market has been able to pay 100 percent of the premiums for our full-time team members -- about 89% of our workforce. (Part-timers are eligible for the insurance plan too and pay the premium themselves.) Our team members vote on our plan every three years to make sure they continue to have a voice in our benefits.

Whole Foods Market has a 30-year track record of caring about our customers, team members and communities. From local loan programs to salary caps, from donations to non-profits to funding the Whole Planet Foundation, our innovative programs are created and designed by team members who care about their fellow citizens.

We all know there are many opinions on the health care debate, including inside our own company. As we, as a nation, continue to sort through this together, we are hopeful that both sides can do so in a civil manner that will lead to positive change for all concerned, and we thank you for sharing your opinions with us.

Mackey's blog contains the same piece as published in the WSJ with an different headline and the alteration of a paragraph and a few words, but essentially the same piece. Nowhere, in either version, does one find any support for a national health care service. Instead, it reflects the touting of Mackey's company's superior health plan for its employees and the idea that if only people would eat better foods (HEY! I RUN A WHOLE FOODS STORE!) and manage their own health better, we wouldn't need anything as expensive and silly as single-payer health care.

Read it all for yourselves. I see nothing in Mackey's "real article" to change my opinion. Boycotting Whole Foods isn't a hardship on myself, since I am one of those people who refer to it as "Whole Paycheck" because of its exhorbitant prices. I belong to a community food co-op, so my orientation is to buy local anyway. Boycotting Whole Foods is my political obligation. I want single-payer health care in the United States, and I'll fight opposition on all fronts...even on the level of yuppie food stores.

It's Always Democrats and Black Men Who Die

2009-08-15T06:47:35Z

John F. Kennedy. Bobby Kennedy. Malik el Shabazz (Malcolm X). Martin Luther King, Jr.

Nixon wasn't murdered. Neither was Reagan, although somebody tried. Gerald Ford had a gun pointed at him but Squeaky never got off a shot. Nobody took any pot shots at Bush Sr. or Bush Jr. Cheney still lives his evil existence. The talking heads at Fake Noise are still busy lying and distorting and faking their way through one broadcast after another, spewing hate and misinformation like sewage from a drainpipe, and that bloated oaf, Limbaugh, is still farting into his microphone.

No. These Republican assholes are alive. Four of the greatest men who ever lived are dead. And, we have these ignorant, stupid, vile human beings showing up at town hall meetings with nazi symbols and signs and posters calling for the death of President Obama.

I've lived to see four of the greatest men of any generation murdered. Unless we Americans stand up to this rampant racist facism that has taken over our country, we may all be witnesses to another murder. Or more murders. It's time for people to stand up to these evil people and evil forces in our midst.

I, for one, am not going to stand by idly if I see someone carrying a hate sign. I'll go to jail first.

Insurance Companies: You Pay Through The Nose---We Deny You Coverage

2009-08-12T17:17:06Z

This issue hits close to home this week. On Tuesday, my sister had an insurance adjuster come to her home to assess the damage done to her roof after heavy storms blew through her area of Kentucky. The adjuster spent relatively little time examining the damage and then pronounced it as "failure to provide routine maintenance" on her roof, and that the damage wasn't weather related. In other words, my sister's house had a pre-existing condition. Her claim was denied.

Although she can fight this, it means that her roof is still leaking and black mold is still growing in the walls where the water has seeped in. Her health and well-being is in danger---all because some sonuvabitch who works for some sonuvabitch insurance company doesn't want to shell out a couple of thousand dollars to save her home.

Forgive me if I find myself unable to say anything else that is intelligible. All I want to do right now is beat the crap out of insurance CEOs.

Palin Resigns And The Cubs Win First Place

2009-07-27T04:11:31Z

Coincidence? I think not.

Bye, bye Sarah!

Hello, possible playoff berth and hopes given another boost.

Nothing profound today. Just celebrating the two events. :)

How I Was Mistreated By A Cop And How It Changed Me: Perspective On The Gates Arrest

2009-07-24T23:49:13Z

Not long after I became a cab driver in the city of Madison, Wisconsin, I was involved in a fender-bender accident on the city's north side. The officer who responded to the scene ignored the evidence that the other driver, a man in a suit in a rented Lexus, had struck me while making an illegal turn and allowed the man to leave, while writing me a ticket for failure to yield. The officer, a young man in his late twenties or early thirties, was patronizing, dismissive, and did not acknowledge anything I said except to tell me that he knew better. When my boss arrived at the accident site, I was understandably angry with the cop. I spoke with my boss, heatedly explaining the situation and the officer's attitude and behavior. I did not scream, stomp my feet, wave my arms, or use profane or abusive language. What I did say at the end of my rant at my boss was: "Well, I'm only a woman so what do I know?"

When the officer heard that last remark of mine, he exited his vehicle in a fury, screaming at me to put my hands behind my back. I was stunned and looked at my boss, who was also shocked. A couple of seconds later, my left arm was yanked behind my back and the cop was yelling in my ear like a drill sergeant: "I TOLD YOU TO PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK!" I was informed that I was "borderline disorderly" and that he could arrest me for my behavior, and that he was "sick and tired of people calling him a racist or a sexist".

Whereupon, I was handcuffed, stuffed into the back seat of his police car, and subjected to the sounds of the officer screaming at my boss, who did his best to calm him down. The cop harrangued me for a couple more minutes, wrote the ticket, then allowed me out of the vehicle where he removed the cuffs and told me he was releasing me.

I was a nervous wreck for days afterward. The incident triggered issues from childhood, causing something very much like PTSD. I was jumpy, frightened, and afraid to work. After much counseling from co-workers and friends, I finally filed a complaint with the police department, which was terrifying itself. I was convinced that the police would retaliate against me and my fellow cabbies. The Madison police department had a checkered history of civil rights violations, and although I was a white woman, I was also a poor white woman. There was the belief amongst most cabbies in the city that the MPD hated us and we didn't trust any of them, based on their treatment of us over the years. My treatment was further proof of that.

I contacted a journalist that I knew slightly and told him what had happened to me, asking him if he had ever heard of the MPD doing that to anyone else, and what would likely happen now that I had filed a complaint. This journalist, a fine writer named Bill Lueders, obtained my reluctant permission to research the story in order to write it up for his newspaper, the Isthmus. I was wary about having a story done, and even warier when he insisted on a picture of me to run with it. The story turned out to be a blessing, and I bless Bill Lueders to this day for writing it. (He has a fine book out now called "Cry Rape", a terrific investigative work about a visually impaired woman who was raped and later accused by MPD detectives of lying and filing a false report. It's available on Amazon and it's a great read. It explains the police department here much better than I can.)

The story garnered me more attention than I wanted or expected, but it was generally good attention. Total strangers greeted me on the street and even at Burger King's drive-up window to tell me how proud they were that I took on the Madison Police Department. The week after the story ran, the internal affairs investigation ruled that the officer who handcuffed me had been abusive, had detained me illegally, and had violated my civil rights. He was suspended for 11 days without pay and was ordered into a sensitivity training program before he could return to patrol. It was, I was told, one of the most severe penalties an officer had been stuck with, and I received an apology from the head of Internal Affairs to boot. I had won. I had won thanks to Bill Lueders, an honest female officer who had witnessed the incident (unbeknownst to us all), and thanks to those who had encouraged me to file the report.

Why is this story relevant to the Gates incident? This is why:

There are cops who are incredibly hung up on the power part of their jobs. They are always looking for someone to disrespect them so that they can flex their muscles and put people in their place. There are mentally unstable police officers. There are cops who are bigots and cops who are homophobes and cops who hate women. Does this mean that all police are assholes? No, of course not. It just means that if you are a cop AND an asshole, you're a much more dangerous person than someone who is not carrying a weapon with a license to use it.

Seemingly, I have less reason to want to take the side of the police in the Gates incident, and I don't take their side. I'm not taking Gates' side, either. What I want to say is that there are two sides to every story. I was definitely angry at the officer, but it was awful that the officer felt he had a right to put me in handcuffs and detain me and threaten me with arrest because he didn't like me saying something about being a woman. He had no right to do what he did. I, on the other hand, have a right to say: "I'm only a woman, what do I know?" without fear of being arrested. Professor Gates had a right to feel intimidated by a white man with a gun demanding ID from him while standing in his own home. I had a right to feel intimidated and belittled by this cop, because he was belittling me---and because the MPD has a history of doing that with people who are poor or people of color, or both.

Professor Gates was probably angrier than the situation called for, but Sgt. Crowley---who allegedly has scads of training in racial profiling---should have been cool enough and collected enough to defuse Professor Gates' fears. Instead, it became a pissing contest between two proud and decent men who let their tempers get away from them. What should have been a simple contact has now become a national debate.

I earned my perspective because of what happened to me. I know how bad some police officers are and can be. I know that people who have darker skin than mine are highly sensitive to threats from cops, and they have reason to be highly sensitive. I also know some very decent cops and one of my nephews is a new officer and I know that their jobs are tough and require a lot more of them than is normal for most of us. I find myself in the middle of this national argument, and I think it's imperative that people try to walk a mile in each other's shoes.

What happened to me was nothing compared to some of the horror stories I've read about and heard about regarding people being mistreated by police officers. I'm damned lucky. I'm also a better person for having gone through that event. It made me stronger, and more thoughtful. I hope the country can say the same once this incident finally gets resolved.