Caster Semenya And Gender Bigots
In reading news articles about Caster Semenya ( http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-south-africa-runner21-2009aug21,0,5294672.story
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090831/zirin_wolf ), the South African runner who has been the subject of questions about her gender, I am taken back to the time when I was a young girl and a teenager, and then a young woman.
In 1972, at the ripe old age of fifteen, a man accused me of being a "bulldyke" (A word I'd never heard before.) because I was behaving rambunctiously with a couple of my friends who were male. I didn't know what the man meant, but his tone was obviously derogatory. My friends were embarrassed for me, but being teens themselves, didn't know how to stand up to someone much older than they. Only later did I learn what a "bulldyke" was supposed to be, and then I was frightened.
At times during my teen years, I questioned my sexuality and gender many times. I didn't like "girly" things like makeup and dressing up and sexy clothing and flirting and dolls. I liked cars and baseball and adventures and swearing and yelling and having fun in sneakers and jeans. I spoke "boyishly". My voice was not high and light and feminine. It was low and loud and boisterous and in-your-face. I was aggressive. Although my sexual preference was for men, I still wondered if I were a mistake. There was a girl in my high school who was often ridiculed because she had short hair, dressed like a boy, talked like a boy, and didn't date any boys. She was a "dyke" or a "lesbo", according to the current legends. Maybe I was more like her than I realized? It felt like insanity most of the time.
In my late teens, I met a gay couple. After establishing some sort of connection with one of the pair, whom I shall call "Calvin", I confessed my confusion to him, and my fears. He smiled while I spoke and then patted me on the leg and said: "You're not a lesbian, honey. You're a tomboy. So what? Enjoy it. Don't let people pin labels on you." His reassurance and advice began a process of understanding that liberated me from many of my own fears and prejudices, which I continue to bless him for to this day. Calvin also directed me to read books that widened my horizons, including a wonderful book which I treasure to this day: "The Left Hand Of Darkness" by Ursula K. LeGuin. It is the story of a man from Earth who is sent as an envoy to a planet upon which the inhabitants are all gender-neutral---except during short phases called "kemmer", in which their bodies choose to be male or female in order to have sex and procreate. The envoy finds it confusing to relate to these people because in our world, gender defines most things. "What is the first question that is asked when a baby is born?" After many months of living with them and learning to live with their ambiguous sexuality and seeing beyond that to their humanity, the envoy learns to see them as people---not male or female---people.
Eventually, I grew up and learned more about human sexuality, gender politics, feminism, and bigotry. I lost my own bigotry and fears by learning to relate to people---as people. I ceased worrying about whether or not I was a "real" woman in the eyes of idiots, and concentrated on being myself. In this endeavor, I had a great deal of help from gays, lesbians, transgendered people, bi-sexuals, and heterosexuals who had a clue.
I've seen and heard Semenya, and I agree that if you look at her with closed eyes and hear her with closed ears, she appears to be a man. I've read about her life and I feel a kinship with her that she, too, ran off to play with the boys as much as she could. Her mother says she's a girl, and I'm content with that. Why she should be subjected to gender tests is ridiculous, but that is the world we are in. My personal opinion is that the Olympics should cease to have mens' and womens' competitions and just make them all the same competition, but that won't happen in my lifetime.
Being human is reason enough to be loved and appreciated. Gender, race, ethnicity---these are secondary attributes. It took me years to learn to be comfortable in my own skin, and to be comfortable with others who were unlike me. It required that I love.
I love you, Caster Semenya.
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090831/zirin_wolf ), the South African runner who has been the subject of questions about her gender, I am taken back to the time when I was a young girl and a teenager, and then a young woman.
In 1972, at the ripe old age of fifteen, a man accused me of being a "bulldyke" (A word I'd never heard before.) because I was behaving rambunctiously with a couple of my friends who were male. I didn't know what the man meant, but his tone was obviously derogatory. My friends were embarrassed for me, but being teens themselves, didn't know how to stand up to someone much older than they. Only later did I learn what a "bulldyke" was supposed to be, and then I was frightened.
At times during my teen years, I questioned my sexuality and gender many times. I didn't like "girly" things like makeup and dressing up and sexy clothing and flirting and dolls. I liked cars and baseball and adventures and swearing and yelling and having fun in sneakers and jeans. I spoke "boyishly". My voice was not high and light and feminine. It was low and loud and boisterous and in-your-face. I was aggressive. Although my sexual preference was for men, I still wondered if I were a mistake. There was a girl in my high school who was often ridiculed because she had short hair, dressed like a boy, talked like a boy, and didn't date any boys. She was a "dyke" or a "lesbo", according to the current legends. Maybe I was more like her than I realized? It felt like insanity most of the time.
In my late teens, I met a gay couple. After establishing some sort of connection with one of the pair, whom I shall call "Calvin", I confessed my confusion to him, and my fears. He smiled while I spoke and then patted me on the leg and said: "You're not a lesbian, honey. You're a tomboy. So what? Enjoy it. Don't let people pin labels on you." His reassurance and advice began a process of understanding that liberated me from many of my own fears and prejudices, which I continue to bless him for to this day. Calvin also directed me to read books that widened my horizons, including a wonderful book which I treasure to this day: "The Left Hand Of Darkness" by Ursula K. LeGuin. It is the story of a man from Earth who is sent as an envoy to a planet upon which the inhabitants are all gender-neutral---except during short phases called "kemmer", in which their bodies choose to be male or female in order to have sex and procreate. The envoy finds it confusing to relate to these people because in our world, gender defines most things. "What is the first question that is asked when a baby is born?" After many months of living with them and learning to live with their ambiguous sexuality and seeing beyond that to their humanity, the envoy learns to see them as people---not male or female---people.
Eventually, I grew up and learned more about human sexuality, gender politics, feminism, and bigotry. I lost my own bigotry and fears by learning to relate to people---as people. I ceased worrying about whether or not I was a "real" woman in the eyes of idiots, and concentrated on being myself. In this endeavor, I had a great deal of help from gays, lesbians, transgendered people, bi-sexuals, and heterosexuals who had a clue.
I've seen and heard Semenya, and I agree that if you look at her with closed eyes and hear her with closed ears, she appears to be a man. I've read about her life and I feel a kinship with her that she, too, ran off to play with the boys as much as she could. Her mother says she's a girl, and I'm content with that. Why she should be subjected to gender tests is ridiculous, but that is the world we are in. My personal opinion is that the Olympics should cease to have mens' and womens' competitions and just make them all the same competition, but that won't happen in my lifetime.
Being human is reason enough to be loved and appreciated. Gender, race, ethnicity---these are secondary attributes. It took me years to learn to be comfortable in my own skin, and to be comfortable with others who were unlike me. It required that I love.
I love you, Caster Semenya.
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The response to Semenya seems to be a throw-back to the time of Russian women athletes were accused of hormone-stuffing or something. We are so freaking weird about gender roles. Even those who profess to know better fall into the trap.
It is so cool that your gay friend assured you that you were just a tom-boy. I was, too; my dad wanted boys, but got girls, and by god, we were going to learn every sport there was. On the island where I spent my childhood, there were mainly boy playmates, so I had to play what they liked if I wanted company. And to "play with my imagination" when I was by myself. I can't say I had gender confusion, but I can see what it would have been like.
Nice story, and great perspective!
August 31, 2009 5:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
The response to Semenya seems to be a throw-back to the time of Russian women athletes were accused of hormone-stuffing or something.
In all due fairness, I think that a lot of Soviet Bloc countries did use performance-enhancing steroids in the 1980s. This accusation did have facts behind it, not just stereotypes.
September 1, 2009 12:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
Jan,
Thanks for this and the background. I had heard snippets about this issue and one alluded to the fact it was more about male v. female competitiveness, insinuating the males were perhaps 'threatened' by her performance.
Disturbing on many levels. Bigotry in any form and people making irrational judgements is always cause for concern.
Again, appreciate post.
Rec'd.
August 31, 2009 7:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Rec'd!
August 31, 2009 7:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
I recall, in the fourth grade, four of us, two boys and two girls rode our bikes everywhere. Discovered strange monuments that became today's freeways.
Never thought about.
Tom boy. Still brings a smile though Jan. Hell, I like Tom boys....
The days of the petticoats are gone except for Bravo. ha
This is a fine post.
August 31, 2009 7:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh dear, could that poor kid have a more unfortunate name under the circumstances?
What a difficult thing to deal with at age 18.
However it works out with regard to which group of people she laces up her running shoes with, I hope someone can point out that there's a possibility she was sent here to represent human beings. All of us--no categories, no compromises, just courage, and the joy of being human in a strong human body.
If I ran the world, I'd put her on a Wheaties box just for that.
September 1, 2009 2:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
Good blog Jan. I've not read that Le Guin book, but will look it up. Her novel, 'The Lathe of Heaven' has stuck with me for 35+ years.
September 1, 2009 2:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's posts like these that make TPMCafe the great place it is. Thanks for sharing.
September 1, 2009 12:45 PM | Reply | Permalink