Saturday, April 22, 2006

14:30:41

“How should I care for my pets when *.”

*……we arrive in the

New World Order

given us by

George W. Bush and his “base”.

1. feed your small fish to your big fish.

2. feed your hamster to your snake.

3. feed your ants to your birds.

4. feed your snake to your birds

5. feed your biggest fish to your birds

6. feed your birds to your cat.

7. feed your cat to your dog.

8. call the dog pound tell them “he ate all my pets”

they will put him to sleep.

After that feed your enemies to the police.

Then the police will come after your relatives.

Then your own your own.

This is called the “Hitler solution”

I didn’t like it then so why should I like it now.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

13:26:07

“there have been a lot of people”

who have asked what do I do to make a living.

I work for gus dunlap.

My job description “is”: do what ever he tells me to do.

So far he has told me nothing. So I do nothing.

I was told “at some time you will be assisting me in the tending of the corn maze.”

He said "i won't pay you any money.

But I was able to somethings I wanted.

1. he can not fire me.

2. he can not yell at me.

3. he can not call me any name other than my own.

Example: stupid, idiot, lakare, 978501, ?$&*@, or anything else.

I believe I have negotiated a pretty good contract.

jamesearl

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

09:02:53

Eulogy

At the time of my dad’s funeral my brother, the graduate gave the eulogy. I found it to be a classic piece of work. Something that goes far beyond the capabilities of my brother or at least that is what I heard.

For in it was the use and it’s call is today to be used. The tale within the eulogy describes the very thing of which I speak. The tale;

My mother and dad had gone to Orlando to see my brother. It seems that while they were there my brother decides to take them all out to eat. They go out and have a great time. My dad loved great times. He loved. Anyway when they leave the restaurant everyone piles in the car. I am not sure but I was given the impression in the tale that my dad was in the backseat and that my brother, the educated, was the driver. Well anyway there they are nice dinner nice time now to the house. Wrong. Car won’t start. First thing my brother does, gets on the cell phone, making them calls. My dad in the backseat says “raise the hood” of course to my brother this probably sounds like “lkajfdou ppep potoptp” cause he is handling things.” Call after call and that nuisance in the backseat “lkajfdou ppep potoptp”

At last my brother has done all he knows how to do in a situation such as this. As calms down he listens to what my dad has been saying all along “raise the hood” being the son of the father he raised the hood. And almost immediately someone shows up to help and indeed gets them on their way.

“We shall never be greater than those who have gone before us,

we may know more in terms of knowledge but we miss the understanding of it”

On, to the road to hell.

Indeed paved with good intentions

And that is not to be confused with a good deed.

They are not the same thing.

jamesearl

i loved and lived in mobile alabama. i moved there in 1982. my wife did not like it. i guess she was smarter than me. we eventually loved and lived on chamberlain ave at 1318. we had the best landlord to that date there his name was george drasheff, ret col. army.

back to the fireants. i had done some research on them at the library downtown mobile. and discovered that mobile is where they actually entered this country. at the city meeting it was determined that nothing should be done about it for it was not worth spending money on. or so they said.

i had a small piece of land and had about fourty mounds at the worst times. i spent a good bit of money on trying to get rid of them each month. i was working those 7 days a week 12hr plus one hour there one hour back kind of jobs. and it was a night shift. my wife had decided to take the children to see her parents in south carolina. i always told myself if i worked a full day i could have three beers, i like to belch and piss. anyway i came home family gone. oh did i mention i had to feed seven cats/kittens ours and the neighbors, they were out of town too. anyway as i was sitting there i saw all these ants on my patio. i was feeding cats drinking beer and smoking a cigarette. i began talking to these ants (they didn't say anything back) i said "i'll make a deal with you, you leave me and mine alone and i'll leave you and yours alone" i drank my beer finished smoking my cigarette and fell asleep. i quite buying the and everytime i saw these ants i would make sure i did not bother them and instructed my family to obey to treaty. for ten years i never heard of anyone of us being pissed on by these creatures. i did have some problem when i later moved to st petersburg florida. it seems some of the people i allowed to stay at my home thought it was a joke and made my ants mad and they bit me on my ring finger. i eventually had to go and have it cut open and stuffed with what looked like white cloth.

i now live in hartsville sc and when i came here i still practice my treaty obligations and have only been pissed on once. i think that is because i have had a lot of trouble here. i mean i have legal right to be here but it seems some people think i don't deserve that right. i say let's settle it in court (i have never won a case in court in my life i don't know why i still believe in it) anyway i must have done something wrong to these ants. i don't blame them i blame me.

but i have incorperated another tactic and that is to leave food for them but i piss on it. and you will not believe it but now i actually have to go a good distance (60 feet to find some) but when i spill something like peanutbutter on the floor (carpet) they are right there to clean it up and i mean everybit of it.