When the Minneapolis bridge collapsed, it brought forth the predictable accusation that government can't do anything right. Fine. Liberalism has to have room for experimentation and new ideas. So I propose an experiment: go ahead and privatize the new bridge.

By "privatize," I don't mean, "give away billions of dollars worth of public assets, already bought and paid for by taxpayers, to cronies who plan to break the union, cut service, raise prices and keep the difference for themselves." I mean really and truly privatize it 100 percent.

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Now is the perfect opportunity. Auction off the land to the highest bidder. The minimum starting bid should be the downtown-Minneapolis average real estate price per square foot.

Sell the land with stipulations that a bridge must be built within one year. It must carry two more lanes than before, to allow for future expansion. It must comply with all regulations. Failure to meet these terms would result in forfeiture of the investment.

The winner would own the bridge, in every sense of the word. They would raise their own capital in the open market. They would clear the rubble, build the bridge, maintain it, insure it and be fully liable for damages if it collapsed again. They'd pay inspection fees, taxes and all other associated costs I can't think of.

The owners would be allowed to charge whatever toll they choose. They could purchase whatever toll booth or electronic surveillance and billing system they can afford with their own money. I'd even be generous and let them pay the lower, capital gains tax rate on their profits!

However, government police will not enforce the toll. The owners would have to collect their accounts payable by the same civil process as every other business.

Unfortunately, this will have to remain a thought experiment. The offer will never be made and if it were, I seriously doubt there'd be any takers. This, of course, is why government builds bridges in the first place.

I've a tendency to agree with Todd Gitlin, et al, who think Bush and Cheney deserve impeachment but we shouldn't necessarily give it to them. Sort of.

Republicans are like uninvited guests. Their policies are the political equivalent of drinking all the liquor and making passes at the women. The Clinton impeachment was like crapping in the swimming pool. And then, they have the balls to complain how lame the party was.

My friends in the media act all disgusted, while secretly admiring the audacity of it. Their friends don't even bother with the pretense.

I fantasize about retaliating, but no matter how much they deserve it, I just can't bring myself to go crap in their pool. Even if I did, our so-called friends would think, "Oh. How. Original."