I know you all are sick of Prop8, but this isn't about Prop8, except as a symptom.

I want us to think about what provokes people into fear.  Because I put it to you that the separatist instinct that we are seeing playing out across the country, dividing "us" and "them", is about fear and insecurity, about division, rather than common ground.

Item:

The election of America's first black president has triggered more than 200 hate-related incidents, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center,  a record in modern presidential elections. Moreover, the white nationalist movement, bemoaning an election that confirmed voters' comfort with a multiracial demography, expects Mr. Obama's election to be a potent recruiting tool; one that watchdog groups warn could give new impetus to a mostly defanged fringe element. 

The article goes on to discuss that a sense of disenfranchisement in some Southern and other whites leads to a potential for violent response against Obama and people of color.  We can't forget that the  Oklahoma City bombings were done by our own citizens, and not scary foreigners.  (Note that I am not talking about legitimate political disagreements, but the hysterical reactions and threats driven by the worst of identity politics.)

 Item

The theologically conservative Diocese of Fort Worth voted Saturday to split from the liberal-leaning Episcopal Church, the fourth traditional diocese to do so in a long-running debate over the Bible, gay relationships and other issues. About 80 percent of clergy and parishioners in the Texas diocese supported the break in a series of votes at a diocesan convention. 

It's amazing to me how much press it gets that a small fraction of the Episcopalians are splitting off. Although the leaving party may claim it's about more than just the "gay issue", in fact the doctrine of the Episcopal church hasn't changed--you know, God, Jesus, Trinity, all that.    They simply can't stand that women and gays are now ordained, so they elevate sexuality to a core doctrine.   It looks like desperately trying to hold on to the past, where women and gays both knew their places and father figures (always white men) channeled authority. 

Item:

  In a recent email urging supporters to attack the Governor for his comments, Tony Perkins and the Family Research Council had this to say: "Since Election Day, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) has made statements supporting demonstrations against Proposition 8, and urging California 's Supreme Court to block the amendment's enforcement.  Condoning street protests and supporting judicial activist scams to overturn a popularly approved state constitutional amendment approaches advocacy of anarchy. Gov. Schwarzenegger is playing a dangerous game, and it needs to stop. Now."

Attempts to suppress peaceful dissent is a major symptom of fear, wouldn't you say?  Tens of thousands of gays and their allies have marched peacefully, and perfectly legally, to express an opinion.  There were no riots in the streets.   What are they afraid of? 

So, what is it that is so ingrained in the human instinct that some of us need to feel "above" someone else?  That people feel threatened by change, or inclusion, sufficient to use acts of violence and words of hate to support their views?  Is it that if someone else is special, we aren't?  This sounds like the jealousy of a small child when a new sibling comes home from the hospital--only with the weapons of adulthood.

Some time ago, I wrote about ambiguity  and argued that fundamentalists respond the way they do because of their discomfort with things ambiguous.  Here, I will add that I think fear  is also a component.

In these undeniably frightening economic and social times, it is a natural instinct to barricade the doors against what we see as the marauding hoardes, whatever "side" we are on.  Yet it is precisely now that we need to take the risk to open the door and realize that the "hoardes" are just starving neighbors, and people just like us.  

With gun sales on the upswing, and  right wing  groups advocating the elimination of free speech, these are indeed perilous times.   There are also demagogues cynically fanning the flames of fear and hatred , to gain or consolidate power. 

But now is the true challenge, of living our humane values in the face of fear and violence--not by excluding the fearful, but by trying to reach them.  All of us must try build bridges, whether liberal or conservative, religious or atheist, gay or straight.  It's when we view each other as "The Other", with labels instead of common humanity, that the danger exists.

(Cross posted with some editing from Friends of Jake and Daily Kos)
 

It's quite offensive that you assume that there is anything less than permanent in my marriage than in yours, simply because of the gender of my beloved. The bigotry of this view may arise from fear, ignorance, or hatred, or some combination thereof.

But denying my faithful, long term relationship the benefits and responsibilities of civil marriage is simple bigotry.  it has nothing to do with religion, yours or mine.

Either way, whether you deprive us of the piece of paper or not, we're married in reality. You can't stop that. You can't eliminate us, or drive us into hiding.  Nothing has changed about our presence in our  common life--yours and mine.  Nothing has changed about what your children will be taught or your exposure to us.  We are still here and still the same.

We are your neighbors. We teach your children. We work in your office. We are your doctor, your lawyer, your grocery clerk, your taxi driver. My wife's picture is on my desk, and mine on hers. You and your children see it there when you come in my office.

We are in the PTA. We go to the supermarket and kids' soccer games together. We hold hands. Our children are friends with yours. Your daughter may date my son. We may sit near you at graduation. We may be near you at a restaurant. And some of us even go to church, and stand next to you in the pew.

In the face of all your bigotry and attempt to marginalize us, to make us smaller, we are here, bearing the witness of what marriage is, through better or worse, in sickness or in health, as long as we both shall live.

Oh my, can you imagine the degree of commitment to marriage that endures despite the ignorance and bile of people like you? Despite every effort you make to tear us apart, to disenfranchise and abuse us, to desecrate what we hold sacred, we endure, and still we rise.

It makes you rather small, doesn't it? Bigotry generally does have that effect.

(Edited from a cross post at Friends of Jake)