If you're anything like me, you spend most of your waking hours in a state of constant abject outrage.  It can be overwhelming.  Sometimes, i can't even decide who to despise first.

Well, friends, i found the cure, and so can you, for only 5 easy payments of $19.95.  Developed for the government, it was once available only to top officials at the White House and elite business people.  But now, in this special limited-time offer, you too can know the peace and tranquility that an unfounded belief in your own moral righteousness can bring.  If you are over 55, you cannot be turned down for this special offer.


Introducing the New and Improved Moral Compass:



Here's just a few comments by satisfied users:

"American power should be used not just in the defense of American interests but for the promotion of American principles."
          William Kristol

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace".  George W. Bush

"We do not torture" Georgie W. Bush

"We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." Dick Cheney

"I heartily endorse this event or product" Art Linkletter

"In light of the well-settled understanding that constitutional constraints must give way in some respects to the exigencies of war, we think that the better view is that the Fourth Amendment does not apply to domestic military operations designed to deter and prevent further terrorist attacks." - Yoo & Delahunty

And if you liked that product, also check out the Torture Home Security System from Haliburton: it's the best defense money can buy!



What satisfied customers have to say:

"I never would have known my neighbor was an al-qa'ida operative and a practicing witch without the THSS.  Thanks Haliburiton!"

"I've already caught two confessed aliens and a yankee spy!"

"My own wife was a concentration camp guard at Auschwitz and later shot JR!"