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The Death of Journalism.... Pallbearers include Jake Tapper, Mark Halperin, Campbell Brown, Politico's entire staff.........


The Eulogy will be given by Joe Klein who once said at a time of great turmoil in the world....

"I've been watching cable news this afternon--I know, get a life!--and you know, Barack Obama comes from the same state as Rod Blagoyevich. That is really suspicious! What did he know and when did he know it? This is the first major scandal of the Obama Administration! He has to explain himself. You notice he hasn't had any press conferences since this thing broke...oh, wait. He's having a press conference tomorrow...And Patrick Fitzgerald said that Obama is no way involved in this? I'll bet! That's not what Sean Hannity thinks! It's a coverup for sure. Will Obama be the first President to be impeached before he's inaugurated? 

Stay tuned...but only if you have a strong stomach."

 

Unlike many of the attendees, Joe loved journalism and practiced it waaayyy more than others. That cannot be said for the pallbearers and others who thought journalism was old and deserved to die. They, felt that tabloid gossip was more hip and had more life- so, on the condtion of anonymity (because most are affilicted with  the condition of "a lackofspineity" said the following)

 

" F journalism, it is so newsy"

 

" Why report facts when we can report feelings"

 

" Facts only get in the way"

 

" I like cheese"

 

It is a  sad day for many Americans, who thought that they could trust the judgement of reporters to decipher between real news (like the economic downturn, torture, wiretaps and things like that) and fake news (like sex scandals, money scandals, pigs, lipstick, houses, kindergaten letters). Sure, fake news is sexy- but that is what the last 5 minutes of evening news is for, or better yet, If we are consumed with fake news- what will Andy Rooney gripe.  about now? I guess, all is left is to turn to the esteemed Stephen Colbert from the Colbert report. Although, he reports news from his gut and not his brain- he has the decency to tell us.

 

Other attendees include

 

Andrea Mitchell (practiced journalism, but fell of the wagon more than once)

 

David Gregory (was never a fan of journalism, just loved to hear the word-nothing more)

 

The entire Fox network (they played the music)

 

George Stephanoupolous (was the flowerer bearer)

 

Lou Dobbs (passed out smokes to the kids in the bathroom)

 

Those who did not attend, because they were in denial of journalism's untimely passing

 

Chuck Todd

 

jeffrey toobin

 

If I missed anyone, please state their names, I am too busy crying

 

 

 

 

 


39 Comments

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Because journalism is (and almost always has been) a commercial activity, rewarded (nourished) by advertising sales - as determined by ratings and (in print) subscriptions, "we the people" are getting the journalism we deserve.

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Awesome write up. You are so dead on. The speculation, conjecture and innuendo is endless on cable news. They take no facts and create smears just to make it sound exciting and titillating...there is always a 'stay tuned' atmosphere instead of just the facts.

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"Stay tuned" = better ratings per daypart.

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True, but I think with the whole economy falling from under us... I don't think most care. That is why the Ayers, Wright, Rezko ordeal failed- if Americans had more money in their pocket and more security in their jobs- they might have a la Kerry. But, I don't think anyone cares about Campbell's rantings about Ed Rendell being sexist and Blag's supreme idiotic behavior- I really hope that guy pleads insanity. I mean the chuzpah the cajones to try and shake down the next president. That my friends, is balls you can believe in.

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I know I don't care. I am sick of the biased reporting on this Blagojevich scandal where they do everything they can to tie Obama to Blago...I am like WTF?

O'donnell gets on my LAST nerve with all her twisting and spinning of framing the facts to convey negative speculation...such as ...looks like Obama did not go far enough when he passed ethics reform legislation ...instead of:

Obama passed the most sweeping ethics reform legislation in the history of IL and called months ago to spur the IL legislation to fast track the ethics reform that Blago was trying to avoid most likely resulting in Blago speeding up his 'paytoplay' style politics to the brazeneness of attempting to sell a US Senate seat.


All we get is this constant inference that we have not found anything YET but we will keep searching and providing links, no matter how insignificant or irrelevant, which will imply how Obama is tied to the corrupt system in Chicago.

They never focus on his actual achievements or accomplishments only on 'he has got to be tied to this somehow...here's some smoke...look over here.

I can't tolerate this blatant gossipy scandal bias reporting of the 'news"

It is reducing the Presidency to the level of discourse of Enterntainment Tonight...complete with paparazzi and news reporters following each and every move, not to tell the nations business but to find something on Obama to make our business!!

UUURGGGhhhh

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It's true, people really don't care. What they know is that Blago tried to sell Obama's senate seat. On the face of it people just think that Blago is just another person trying to make a profit off of Obama.

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During the campaign, especially general, I was like, um, this would be one hell of a reality show- the folksy charmer with a gun in one hand and changing her baby's diaper using the other- all the while saving the U.S from that evil unmavericky Putin- but it was NOT funny because it was REAL. I mean we did not dodge a bulllet with McCain, we dodged an ambush WWII style.

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Seriously, what is everyone's obsession with Chuck Todd. He is not that good.

In fact, he is barely a journalist. He is known for 'gaming' and 'predicting' the outcomes of elections. Even at that, he rarely presented new and compelling information that an educated person themselves could have found.

And Toobin? Toobin is a great read. But he is a partisan analyst, also not a journalist.

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I used my experience as a journalist (for the Honolulu dailies and Newsweek) to learn how to write fiction; never let the facts stand in the way of a good story. I went on to write detective novels and thrillers; it was fun writing stories without feeling guilty about making stuff up. As Tom Wolfe once said, working for a newspaper is like spending time in a whorehouse; you work the fat off your style. I think it would be fun to hold an experiment in which all mainstream newspapers and television networks agreed to eliminate the following words for one day: could (Oh?); might (Really?); analyst (A guy with a cold beer?); expert (Say again?); source or sources(Psychics?. Eliminating those stories would save a lot of newsprint and maybe prevent some papers from going bankrupt. I could make that list of banned words longer. Suggestions out there?

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I've never forgotten the irony of my first article for the NYT which, in the end, contained a glaring factual error. But the way that error occurred makes a great anecdote ....
After writing an article, an NYT journalist used to read his or her copy over the phone to a transcriber, whose job it was to announce what cuts were required to fit the layout.
After submitting my first article, the transcriber said: "Hold on for a mo', Doll" and then, after a pause, announced that my article was "thirteen characters too long." Before I could suggest a deletion, she said, in an effort to be helpful: "You're new, yes? Listen, I found a subordinate phrase that is exactly thirteen characters long and I deleted it; you're all set. Thank me for my experience."
I said, anxiously: "What phrase was that?"
She said: "In paragraph eight, where you say blah, blah -- that's thirteen characters, neat and clean. Hey presto."
I said, in shock and complete dismay: "But, but.... that deletion turns an accurate statement into one that is factually false! You can't delete that one..."
The transcriber cut me off: "Doll," she said patiently, no rancor evident: " Don'cha read the paper you write for? What's the tag line? Repeat after me -- 'All the news that's FIT TO PRINT.' Get it? FIT TO PRINT. Now thank me, and getoutahere." Click. Dial tone.
I've never forgotten that moment.
Journalistic integrity? If it fits. Writing to advertising dollars? In the real world? Yes. Does the blog world replace newspapers? In integrity, given the number of minders -- yes. In thorough research? No, not yet. In sentiment? Never.

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Procrustean be


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13 characters o

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Nice, Quinn. Succinct. Very much like Biden's debate "Yes."

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ww, I have to know -- did the Times eventually print a correction on the (not your fault) factual error? Either way, great story!

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No retraction, no apology. Just "deal with it, newbie." The good, if disquieting news: I wrote for them for another six years.

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By the by, ww, I have been published in all the country's leading newspapers like the NYT, LAT, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, etc., as well as a few of the foreign ones.

I don't let the fact that all my pieces were obituaries stop me from claiming my rights to publishing fame! :-)

Sorry for going off-topic.

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I got my name on the front page of the paper once! Just below the story on the new purple drapes in the Church vestry.

Damn those drapes.

But they WERE pretty hot.

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Now, how would you know the new purple drapes were hot? The only way I can connect these statements is by believing that the reason your name was featured below the new purple drapes story is because you were caught wearing nothing but the one of the new purple drapes late one evening by law enforcement personnel. Your companion was found wearing nothing but another one of the new purple drapes. There were indications of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll that also contributed to why you wearing the hot new purple drapes late one evening. Both of you were hot, panting even, although it was below freezing outside and the heat in the church had been turned way down.

How am I doing?

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Your'e close, but it wasn't the sex, drugs or rock 'n roll.

Was a Baptist church vestry.

So the conviction was for dancing. ;-)

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Good on you, Seashell. I only wrote for the NYT. Maybe chastened by that first experience, or just too lazy to branch out. But I know what it takes to get on-board, anywhere. Congratulations.

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Not off-topic, as it happens. Early in my work life, I was a trust department "tickler clerk" which meant that I checked the obituaries every day, first thing, to see if a bank client had died and, if so, my job was to get the will out of the vault and give it to the trust officer. In consequence, I have a real respect for obit writers, who are challenged -- and rise to the challenge -- of making every person valued.
I wrote my mother's obituary, and it is one of the things I am proudest of -- she, a woman of letters. Literally and figuratively.

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John Dickerson of Slate is Tapper's shadow, repeating everything Tapper says in his really bad articles in what used to be a good online read.

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Dickerson was on the now Doomed Day to Day yesterday, doing a decent job of reporting this. Was he bad on Slate? (I wouldn't know. Its on the National Priority List for toxic waste cleanup so I stay away).

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Here's the headline to dickerson's piece: What Didn't He Know, and When Didn't He Know It? Obama's unsatisfyingly vague response to the Blagojevich scandal. The body of the article isn't any better. He was on the bus for Hillary, literally and figuratively, and he has always been unreasonably (in my opinion) critical of Obama.

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I think you've confused people who showed up to strip nekkid and dance on the grave for pallbearers.

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You guys are too funny. I'm watching Chris Matthews(the sunday show) and he's all salivating at the lips- WHAT IS BIDEN GONNA DO? WILL HE AND HILLARY HAVE A KNOCK DOWN DRAG DOWN.HA!. And I'm like any dingbat with a set of tubes that make up the internets would know that the Bidens and Clintons are close and that Biden said in numerous interviews, he was not interested in a porfoilio-only for Barack to listen to him. After someone points that out, Matthews goes apeshit and says Oh I didn't know that- that's news to me? And I'm thinking, can I be a journalist. I am so glad this series of tubes exist(except Politico), because I would be out of mind in doom and gloom Obama scenarios.

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Too much airtime to fill.
Not enough substantive news.
Not enough viewers.

Ergo: Sensationalism.

And it's not so much real vs. fake, as defined, as it is between factual and objective vs. speculative and agenda driven.

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Not enough substantive news? Nobody's looking too hard, I guess.

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I was shocked and dismayed to find that none, NOT ONE, of the Lehrer team was invited.

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Excellent topic choice.

Having been interviewed by some very venerable papers (including NY Times), I can say with confidence that what you say (or the intent of what you say) may or may not end up on the page.

However, these papers still hold to a higher standard than the blogsphere.

If people want to know what journalism is really like, may I suggest the movie ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN. It's about the Watergate reporting of the Washington Post. The story ends on the first day of Nixon's second term. ENDS! Imagine having to be that careful with building a story in today's world!

Neither cable nor the blogsphere have yet to attain that type of standard. So while the NY Times (and other papers like it) are very far from perfect, they have still set the bar quite high.

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The thing is clearthinker, I don't think that the blogs could never be close to perfect as the papers. There accountability somewhat matters, any joe dick and harry can write a blogpost and call it news. My problem, is the oversensationalization of actual news. The story should be the corruption of Blag, not how it taints Obama, or as Blag would call him, Motherf'er. It kind of reminds me of soap operas, which are supposed to be the oversensationalizement of real life. Everyone has drama in their life, but the soap operas over play. The news or networks are becoming close to that. You should never speculate on what you don't know- as my dad would say those who make assumptions usually make asses out of themselves, but yet they do on AIR. I like Chuck Todd because most of his reporting his based on a metric system, that anyone can independently verify from the numbers. I don't know what the hell is going in chris matthews head, except sugar plums running through.

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Ah didn't you know? - sugar plums running through your head is a criteria for public office.

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Walt Disney used to tell his staff (the men he paid on the same level as Thomas Alva Edison): SHORTEN AND EXAGGERATE.

It really never occurred to me that all the news that's fit to print referred to the typesetter's problems in getting the message to fit the page.
WWS, I shall take that to my grave.

If you have no life like me, and will from time to time watch four straight hours of news on cable, you find that it can become the same show with the same 'big news', the same 'odd news', and even the same slander and libel.

Three hundred million people supposedly live in this country. Thirty thousand people die on the highway, thirty thousand people die as a result of gunshots, four hundred thousand people die of cancer......

There are so many stories out there to cover. Couldn't 'they' divy it up better than that?

ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS THE PRINT SPACE.

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We iz all jernelists now!

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I can has noozpapper?

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Everything has become entertainment! Remember the invasion of Iraq? Does anyone recall how 9/11 - a terrorist event - became "Attack on America" by the end of the day? By the end of that day, yes, there was something like a "title" on the screen. I honestly recall thinking... wait a minute... but nobody waited! They hyped it to make it appear as if we'd all been attacked.

This is the same thing I referred to the other day when I described the bizarre experience of being in a freezing building (in a recession) with gew-gaws being hawked on a network morning program turned shopping network.

Something is very, very wrong - at the heart of our society - a country that's becoming nothing but a purveyor of PR hype - divorced from reality.

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Uh, I think Graduate Student should have written this when the byline could have truthfully been
High School Fish.

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There is a simple solution to the ghastly state of affairs in "reporting" today - and the time you spend complaining could be put to better use helping to restore the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE. Nancy Pelosi has already said that she'll bring the issue forward after the inauguration, but she'll need your support. Google on "Fairness Doctrine" and you'll see how you can truly make a difference.

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The diarist said "It is a sad day for many Americans, who thought that they could trust the judgement of reporters to decipher between real news (like the economic downturn, torture, wiretaps and things like that) and fake news (like sex scandals, money scandals, pigs, lipstick, houses, kindergaten letters) ... "

Fake news is what draws the masses around the TV, and other media. It is what increases media profits. Its like the car accident on the side of the road where everyone slows down to take a look. It is a reflection of who we are.

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