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Flash: Obamacare Passed in Secret Session - Death Panel Selects Glenn Beck to Go First
August 11, 2009
Dateline - Washington, D.C.
Using the cover of town hall meetings held to divert the attention of patriots opposing the Administration's efforts to destroy the world's best health care system, a secret joint session of the House and Senate was held last week entirely via teleconference. During the session the Obamacare bill was passed via the reconciliation process, effectively socializing medicine in America.
In a move to preempt an anticipated public outcry, black helicopters were immediately dispatched from secret bases across the country - rounding up dissenters who revealed themselves by speaking out at the Town Hall meetings. Initial reports, though sketchy, suggest they are being removed to a unknown, secure location for reprogramming. President Obama, speaking at a Town Hall in Portsmouth New Hampshire this morning said "Resistance is futile."
Meanwhile, millions of Americans brace today for the letter expected to go out later this week informing them that their private insurance plan had been canceled as it is no longer competitive with the Public Option. Kathleen Sibelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services assured the nation that "there is no need for alarm as the new Health Care Commission is standing by to make any and all decisions related to who gets what care when."
In a related story, a handwritten list of Obama critics was found this morning on the news desk at Fox Friends - apparently left by Rahm Emmanuel following an interview in which the existence of such an "enemies list" was vigorously denied by the White House Chief of Staff. Fox News analyst Glenn Beck, whose name appears at the top of the list, commented "As it is clear now that I have been selected to be the first to face Obama's Death Panel - I regret only that I have one life to give for this great country." A representative of Sarah Palin objected to Beck's claim, suggesting the list - which includes the former Alaska Governor's name as well, was in alphabetical order, preserving the possibility that Palin would be taken before Beck.
Dateline - Washington, D.C.
Using the cover of town hall meetings held to divert the attention of patriots opposing the Administration's efforts to destroy the world's best health care system, a secret joint session of the House and Senate was held last week entirely via teleconference. During the session the Obamacare bill was passed via the reconciliation process, effectively socializing medicine in America.
In a move to preempt an anticipated public outcry, black helicopters were immediately dispatched from secret bases across the country - rounding up dissenters who revealed themselves by speaking out at the Town Hall meetings. Initial reports, though sketchy, suggest they are being removed to a unknown, secure location for reprogramming. President Obama, speaking at a Town Hall in Portsmouth New Hampshire this morning said "Resistance is futile."
Meanwhile, millions of Americans brace today for the letter expected to go out later this week informing them that their private insurance plan had been canceled as it is no longer competitive with the Public Option. Kathleen Sibelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services assured the nation that "there is no need for alarm as the new Health Care Commission is standing by to make any and all decisions related to who gets what care when."
In a related story, a handwritten list of Obama critics was found this morning on the news desk at Fox Friends - apparently left by Rahm Emmanuel following an interview in which the existence of such an "enemies list" was vigorously denied by the White House Chief of Staff. Fox News analyst Glenn Beck, whose name appears at the top of the list, commented "As it is clear now that I have been selected to be the first to face Obama's Death Panel - I regret only that I have one life to give for this great country." A representative of Sarah Palin objected to Beck's claim, suggesting the list - which includes the former Alaska Governor's name as well, was in alphabetical order, preserving the possibility that Palin would be taken before Beck.
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