Conservatives reacted with shock and dismay to the Nobel committee's decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama. There are reports that some prominent conservatives exploded like Agent Smith at the end of Matrix. But FOX News commentator Bill O'Reilly reacted with little surprise, telling viewers, "Look, Sweden is a socialist country, so of course they elected one of their own." Rush Limbaugh blamed "reverse discrimination," claiming that, "Qualified white candidates have been passed over once again for a black man who doesn't deserve a peace prize." Limbaugh also complained that liberals were "playing the race card again." Glenn Beck wept aloud on his radio show and cried, "Run for your lives, America, the fascho-communist revolution is at hand!"

Other conservatives, led by billionaire Rupert Murdoch, hastily arranged an alternative set of prizes to combat perceived bias by the Nobel Committee. According to FOX News president Roger Ailes, the new prizes are called "Jesus Prizes" because "everyone looks up to Jesus." The Jesus committee has already selected winners for the 2009 prizes in the following categories:

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