Real Men Don't Bow!
You've no doubt seen the video in which Obama bowed meekly before King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia:
In and of itself, this servile gesture symbolizes the pathetic dependence of United States on the towel-headed terrorist who undermines our sovereignty by making us buy his oil. But this was not Obama's first offense. He also bowed before the Queen of England, the symbolic leader of the nation that once taxed our tea, press-ganged our soldiers, and quartered, yes quartered, its bayonet-wielding troops in our very bedrooms. Watch and weep for the glory of the nation:
What's next, serving tea to the Chinese? Cleaning the Indians' latrines? Lapdances for the Iranians? (Imagine how it would bolster Ahmenijhad's international credibility.) At this rate, our entire nation will soon be little more than a decrepit happy-ending massage joint on the outskirts of Winnipeg.
Alas, it was not as if we had no warning. Remember the way Obama turned down greasy hunks of meat during the primary? His pathetic bowling score? We should have known better. We should have seen Mr. Obama for the genuflecting pansy that he is and instead elected the Crown Royale quaffer or the grizzly bear DNA shouter or the other old guy who threw the big rock.
Too late for that now. But there is a solution. President Obama must be sent to Mancamp to learn the skills that made our nation the fearsome imperialists that we once were. He must learn to chug grease, bowl strikes or at least spares, and shoot his friends in the face without flinching. After a few weeks at Mancamp, our willowy, namby-pampy leader will be transformed into a large, bellowing ass-kicker who will make the world tremble with his rage. And the next time he confronts presumptuous foreign leaders, President Obama won't cringe in submission; he will project the power of the greatest nation in the world by vomiting in their laps.
This is they way real men consort with Saudi royalty (thanks to NCSteve for the reminder):
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Cross posted at dagblog.com where DF recently pooped on cap-and-trade. You can subscribe to all my posts via RSS feed or email.
Heh, let's send him out duck-shooting with Cheney, the man with the metal heart and no medal, to test his mettle, shall we?
April 8, 2009 10:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
And you say you "want" to write....nice wordsmithing, Lis B.
Further down the thread:
Aunt Sam -- I, too, was piqued by all the concern over Michelle Obama's "exposed" arms. Shall we just go back to long sleeves, hats and gloves, donning an outdated American version of the burkka?
TheraP --
I have no opinion on mancamp, but I agree that bowl camp might be something our president might want to attend before the next election.
And Dijamo -- thanks for the lovely pics of a beautiful family and, of course, cat.
April 9, 2009 11:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Awww, thanks WW.
April 9, 2009 12:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks WW. And totally agreed on the Michelle bare arms obsession. She favors no sleeves because her arms are kind of awesome :) And she always looks fabulous with the exception of that hideous argyle sweater prom skirt combo from the G20 that I will refrain from linking to here.
April 9, 2009 1:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Didn't respond early just b/c I couldn't think of a clever response to match. Still can't/
April 9, 2009 3:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Heh. So very peculiar. No, no I hadn't heard that Obama bowed, but I can't say I'm surprised.
No. no. no! They will quiver
Good to see you.
=D
April 8, 2009 10:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
No puns
April 9, 2009 12:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
No puns? No fun!
April 9, 2009 12:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
An Obama aide said today that wasn't a bow.
April 9, 2009 12:05 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hmm.
They must think there's something not quite right for an American President to be seen bowing to a king.
April 9, 2009 12:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
*massaging Iranian buttocks* There's an image I can't even get into my head, so that I can complain about not being able to get it out of my head....
Oh, and that "decrepit happy-ending massage joint on the outskirts of Winnipeg"? Very profitable business model. I think I know somebody who knows the manager. LOL
April 9, 2009 1:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Night-time Ninja Training
Because nothing says "sexy" like those black outfits...especially at 1 AM on the A Train...
April 9, 2009 1:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
And you get to meet Martin Sheen.
April 9, 2009 11:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, so agree.
But, what ever shall be done about Micheles' great faux pas - showing her arms in public? Daring to go sleeveless! Ah, the horror of it all.
He bows, she shows her arms! They have shamed us. After ManCamp - he must join his wife at Proper Decorum & Dress School (for middle-aged world leaders).
Geez, thank goodness no one noticed these breaches of propiety.
April 9, 2009 2:15 AM | Reply | Permalink
And Michelle touched the queen's back - with a familiar, warm touch. And I bet the queen rarely gets such a touch. And she was so regal in accepting it! (we need more faux!!!)
April 9, 2009 9:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
That is right TheraP. Ha
April 9, 2009 2:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
That was not faux, that was the Queen getting real! It was actualy pretty stunning to see now only was Michelle's arm around the Queen, but the Queen's arm was around Michelle too! We could spin this the other way. Queen embraces First Lady.
DOH! I gotta post that!!!
April 9, 2009 3:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
So, uh, how does one sign up for this Mancamp? I have a friend who wants to know.
April 9, 2009 8:38 AM | Reply | Permalink
I have to say, Genghis, that because of the type font used in titles, when I first read this I thought it said: "Real men don't bowl" - which gave me pause....
April 9, 2009 8:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
Easy to bow when we have way more F-16s. And more beer. (And more TV channels, cool stuff in stores, girls with comfortable clothing....)
April 9, 2009 9:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Real men think Sara Palin's ok, she just needs a little slappin' around!
April 9, 2009 9:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well, I'm not a man (real or otherwise) - and always against violence towards women (and all beings), however...............
More oft than not I have wanted to slap her down. Figuratively of course.
April 9, 2009 12:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yet anouther breach of manly protocol. It is well known that real men don't bow to Saudi kings. They hold hands with them.
April 9, 2009 10:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Damn! you beat me to it Steve!!
April 9, 2009 10:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nice catch. Wish I'd remembered that. I'll try to incorporate it.
April 9, 2009 12:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
That was mine!
April 9, 2009 8:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
When will you people stop pussy-footing around? He wore a throw-pillow on his head! HE WORE A THROW-PILLOW ON HIS HEAD
!!!
April 9, 2009 10:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well, as a daughter of a Muslim Somali dad (who was raised Catholic) when that pic came out I was offended that the Hillary campaign was being accused of releasing it as a dirty trick. But even moreso that Obama and his team reacted to it like it was a slur. Geez, I am more embarrased by my hairstyle (WTF is up with that), than the fact my dad & I are rocking Somali gear. And why would I think someone is trying to attack me if they incorrectly assume I am Muslim because of my name. They are simply incorrect. Muslim is not a slur, and I'm glad Colin Powell got around to pointing that out since Obama didn't.
April 9, 2009 10:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well, if Somali food is anything like Ethiopian, I'm jealous as hell. Been trying to convince a friend here to open at least a West African restaurant (somewhat similar to Carribean style food), but no go. But next week I get my Ethiopian food binge... yeah!!!
April 9, 2009 12:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Love Ethiopian food, enjoy! They are very similar but Somali restaurants are harder to find and I can't cook to save my life *sigh*. Somali canjero (flat bread) is similar to Ethiopian injeera but on the sweeter side & smaller. Ethiopian food is more hot spicy while Somali is more aromatic spicy. Bigger mix of food influences on the Somali side - Italian (Basto or pasta), Indian (sambusas aka samosas and spiced rice with nuts and raisins similar to biryani). Mmmm. Lunchtime :)
April 9, 2009 1:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Somehow bowing a Muslim is verboten, but bowing to the Japanese PM is okay.
This reminds me of the flap over Hillary's cheek kiss with Soha Arafat (and I was steamed when Hillary was apologizing for that). No one complained when Michelle Obama kissed Carla Bruni-Sarkozi. In fact I think they slowed it down and kept replaying it in an endless loop with a bow-chica-bow-bow soundtrack.
April 9, 2009 10:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Just as long as while mutually observing the proprieties -- it's always mutual* -- the Japanese bows first and keeps his head lower than the President's -- not currently a problem since Obama's at least four inches taller than Aso.
* Did the Saudi king bow to Obama?
April 9, 2009 12:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
As I understand it, there are important differences in the depth and duration of Japanese bows that signal the rank of the bowers. I will watch the next Obama bow to Japanese dignitaries with stopwatch in hand.
April 9, 2009 1:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
Since you don't know the etiquette, carrying a stopwatch would be useless.
Just bring a Japanese along; he or she'll be able to tell you.
April 9, 2009 1:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
...And for God's sake, ask them to stand by a door jamb pre-marked in feet and inches.
Say... just one more thing... and I hope no one bites my head off for this - but it would help... if someone was on hand... to place a ruler on each man's head to gauge the height against the ruled jamb. Just to make ABSOLUTELY sure.
Sometimes... I... lay awake at night wondering about these questions and EXACTLY THE PROPER WAY to answer them all. Then they turn all... mottled and fuzzy. And then JAGGED... sharp! Heh! What's that? Is that you, mommy? Need your bag changed?
OK... Carry on.
April 9, 2009 1:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I won't bite your head off. (They only do that when they greet one another in Kazakhstan). You raise some valid issues. Perhaps Mancamp is not enough. We need an Appropriate Foreign Greeting Department to keep this from ever happening again.
PS Note to Obama Administration, if you're looking for a Secretary of Appropriate Foreign Greetings, look no further. I assure you that my taxes are in order, and I am even now googling to learn how to bow in Japan. (I apologize for the late filing in 1997. It will never happen again.)
April 9, 2009 2:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL! :)
April 9, 2009 2:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Speaking of diplomatic protocol, at least Obama didn't forcibly neck massage any foreign leaders and dignitaries on his trip. I'd much rather a bow than a potential sexual harassment suit.
April 9, 2009 2:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Heh! *Classic moments in diplomatic fox paws!*
April 9, 2009 2:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Still can't figure out if pawing the female premier of a close ally is better or worse than violent projectile vomiting on the premier of a close ally.
April 9, 2009 4:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
At least it can be argued that the projectile vomiting was an accident... The pawing was definitely premeditated.
April 9, 2009 4:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
When seated at an affair of state, the President actually does bow lower than the Japanese PM. It is not unknown for the President to bow into the lap of the PM and return the sushi to him as a piece offering.
April 9, 2009 8:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yup. Of all the reasons to criticize Obama, this ranks as one of the dumbest.
April 9, 2009 1:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hysterical, enghis. You made my day.
And, Dijamo, you do understand he's kidding, don't you?
April 9, 2009 11:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
American presidents do not bow to foreign leaders, ESPECIALLY kings. Pat Lang.
And we don't dip the flag -- to any person or thing. P.L. 829
April 9, 2009 12:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
You can be sure that this Administration is already planning to dip the proud symbol of our nation to various leaders and minor celebrities. We must circumvent this crime with a non-binding Congressional resolution deploring flag-dipping to foreign personages. No skinny-dipping either.
April 9, 2009 1:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
You needn't fret.
According to Politico, "an Obama aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity," said
It wasn't a bow. He grasped his hand with two hands, and he's taller than King Abdullah.
Ya think the king did some jiu jitsu on Obama? Caught him off guard and pulled him right down? And Barack was just trying to shake the man's hand. Got to watch those crafty Arabs.
April 9, 2009 1:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's a definite possibility. Maybe Abdullah plotted this whole thing with Elizabeth. Alert Homeland Security. It's a royalist takeover!
April 9, 2009 2:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Does this mean we get to indignantly dangle teabags in public?
April 9, 2009 3:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
First of all, while President Obama is a Chief of State, he is NOT a sovereign, as is Queen Elizabeth and King Abdullah. There is one difference between the two, though. Abdullah rules, QE-II reigns, but does not "Rule."
It is simply polite and careful protocol for a visiting President to bow as a sign of respect for a sovereign who has reigned on the British throne since before either of the Obamas were born.
It is important to realize that there are protocols to be observed by all international diplomats. One protocol which has been observed by the entire world is that the American flag does not dip for any diplomatic function.
Stop making assumptions about something you obviously know nothing about. However, as an obvious dittohead, I realize that your ilk don't need to know anything about any topic, but still rage about it after getting your marching orders from Lush Rimbaugh's demagoguery.
April 9, 2009 1:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
So, new around here? Or just trying to out-irony the master of irony? In which case, I must bow before you.
Umm, or not.
April 9, 2009 1:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
There's always one, but this may be the best. I will one-up your bow with a buttocks massage and a lapdance. Er, two-up.
April 9, 2009 2:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
PS Lush sends his regards.
April 9, 2009 2:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not.
April 9, 2009 8:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Take the loose end of your tongue and tuck it over to the side, beyond your teeth. Don't bite on it--just hold it there for a moment.
Now.
That's where ☠enghis's tongue is, too.
Get my drift?
Ah, if Sam the Eagle were liberal...
April 9, 2009 2:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Could you please pass the sweet and sour shrimp?
April 9, 2009 2:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wait a minute, Obama's got Richard Nixon's old bowling alley in the White House basement. Says he's getting better too. if he wants to get really good he needs to have someone paint Republican faces on the pins.
April 9, 2009 3:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why did press secretary Gibbs lie and say that Obama didn't bow? It's pretty obvious from the video that he did bow
April 9, 2009 6:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Classic ☠enghis. :-)
April 9, 2009 8:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry, Ghenghis, I'm repeating yourself (the videos would not load, so I didn't see it).
April 9, 2009 9:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think the most significant breach of protocol was overlooked. Michelle Obama, in setting up the photo opportunity, had the gall to turn her back on Prince Philip. Where is the outrage????
April 9, 2009 9:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
hee hee...re: tea comment.
November 17, 2009 12:15 PM | Reply | Permalink