In a surprise move, the McCain campaign has announced that it has fired the public face of the campaign, Senator John McCain. Campaign spokesperson, Nancy Pfotenhauer, announced the decision to dumbstruck reporters at a hastily arranged press conference on Thursday:

"As of this morning, Senator John McCain has been placed on indefinite administrative leave. John and the campaign leadership have agreed that he is not a good fit for the campaign right now. The parting was amicable, and we wish him well in all his future endeavors."

Responding to numerous questions from reporters concerning who would replace Senator McCain, Pfotenhaur replied,

"We will announce a replacement for Senator McCain at the appropriate time. There is a very thorough vetting process in place, and the American people can be assured that we will select an extremely qualified replacement."

Asked whether a replacement would be selected before the election, she responded,

"I can't tell you when that will happen, but this election is not about who we choose or don't choose as our candidate. This election is about Barack Obama. This is a guy who pals around with terrorists and doesn't care about ordinary people like Joe the Plumber. That's why the American people will choose Sen...will make the right choice on Nov. 4th."

Senator McCain was not available for comment, but witnesses of McCain's departure have described the event as anything but amicable. According to one witness who asked not to be named,

"There was some yelling. Things were...thrown. There was a lot of weird eye-blinking. It was honestly the first time I saw John handle a computer mouse. He's got quite an arm. It just goes to show that not only does he not put the country first, he doesn't put his own campaign first."

Though the campaign has not elaborated on the reason for the decision, sources close to the campaign have suggested that the decision makers were disappointed with McCain's performance as Presidential candidate. One person who was involved in the process and asked not to be named (but not necessarily the same person who previously asked not to be named) explained,

"We were sold a lemon. Senator McCain promised us a war hero with a sterling reputation. What we got was an angry, unpredictable old man. If we'd wanted that, we'd have hired Mike Gravel."

The campaign has kept a tight lid on the selection process for a replacement, but a source close to the process, who may or may not be the same source who provided one or both of the preceding quotes, has said the campaign is thinking "outside the box":

"Governor Palin is of course an option. We're also considering some of the primary contenders, such as Fred Thompson. Ronald Reagan's name has been thrown out. Also Jesus. George Washington. Mike Gravel. And we're giving very serious consideration to Joe the Plumber."

The shake up comes at a difficult time for the campaign, as polls continue to show Senator Obama extending his lead in key states, but prominent conservatives are confident that firing Senator McCain will give the campaign a boost. Speaking to FOX News, conservative analyst, Michele Malkin said,

"Now that the McCain campaign has finally shed the deadweight, you're going to see a swing in the polls as voters who feel uncomfortable voting for a terrorist sympathizer gain confidence in a campaign that has proved that it can make the tough decisions."

Commentator Rush Limbaugh was more blunt on his popular radio show:

"About time! I was sick and tired of having to carry the water for that bastard."

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