1) Say "I'm tough". Say it a lot. Also, use the word "fight" in every other sentence.

2) Promise not to quit. Ever. Consequences be damned.

3) Compare yourself to tough historical figures. Like Rocky.

4) Do not apologize. Tough people don't apologize. Rocky doesn't apologize.

5) Tell anecdotes of about yourself in tough situations. E.g. "We landed under sniper fire and had to run to our vehicles."

6) Play tough music. Examples:
 - Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
 - I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)
 - Never Surrender (Corey Hart)
 - We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)

7) Say tough-sounding things about what you'll do to the bad guys. Examples:
 - "We would be able to totally obliterate them."
 - "We're going to get him. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter to me."
 - "We will bury you!" [bang shoe on table]

8) Do not allow anyone to question your toughness or the value of toughness or even the meaning of toughness. Tough people don't take questions on toughness.

9) Win some primaries. This is the most important step. If you win, the media will conclude that you have successfully persuaded voters that you are tough and that your opponent has a toughness problem. They will talk about your toughness and your opponent's untoughness endlessly until the voters start to believe that you are truly tough.

In case anyone missed it, I posted a thread last night encouraging TPM readers to join the new TPM-aholics group at my.barackobama.com in order to organize for the to-be-determined Democratic nominee (not naming names) and connect up off-line.

We're kicking off the group with simultaneous primary-results-watching parties in NYC and LA, where we'll be drinking Yuengling (from PA) and spiked Kool-Aid (because we're all Kool-Aid drinkers). We'll be live blogging the events until the networks call it* or we all pass out**, whichever comes first. If you don't hear from anyone, that just means that we're having too good a time to blog. Or that we've all passed out.

So please join the group, and think about organizing activities in your own locales. BTW, articleman has already suggested an Obama fundraiser with a Q & A from a member of the campaign or even, if there are enough participants, the man himself. We'll keep you posted.

* I really hope that the networks don't call it immediately, for a number of reasons.

** I really hope that we don't all pass out immediately, for a number of reasons.

BTW, we need a logo for the group. TPM is all for us organizing, but they can't endorse us, and we can't use their logo. So please make suggestions by switching your avatar, and we'll pick a winner.

Disclaimer: Serious post for TPM regulars

Hi all. Over the past few months, a number of us have developed something of a community at TPM. There has been occasional chatter about coordinating volunteer activity and more than occasional chatter about copious alcohol consumption. So I've been thinking that it would be a good thing to coordinate our collective political enthusiasm to help the Democrats in November and also that it might be entertaining to share a few beers with those of you who are local. Since TPM doesn't have proper social networking tools, I figured that an excellent alternative would be my.barackobama.com (a.k.a. mybo), and I've created a mybo group called TPM-aholicsSupportGroup for that purpose. If you're a member of mybo, you can join the group at http://my.barackobama.com/page/group/TPM-aholicsSupportGroup. Mybo allows you to send private messages and plan events, but you can still use an anonymous screen name, so you don't have to worry about being stalked off-line by angry trolls. I don't mean to exclude Clinton supporters, and I encourage anyone to join, regardless of candidate affiliation. It's my assumption that Obama will be the nominee soon enough, and then we can all be happy mybo members (except for the 28% who are too angry to come behind him).

To kick things off, I'm planning a Manhattan get together to watch the PA results come in. Anyone within shouting distance is welcome to join me at Revival at 129 E. 15th St. (between Irving and 3rd Ave.) any time after 8 pm for conversation and drinks to ease our tense anticipation. All our welcome, but as this is an off-line event, please be polite. That is to say, no name-calling or capital letters. TPM staff are of course especially welcome and will be treated as VIP's. We'll be drinking Yuengling, of course.

Finally, please recommend this post until it makes the recommended list so that everyone gets a chance to see it.

Genghis (aka Mike)

The day before the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama's campaign has been rocked by news of another troublesome relationship. There have been reports that Obama is separated by only six degrees from mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden. According to the reports, Obama's kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's doorman's grandmother was the kindergarten teacher of mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

In addressing the issue, Hillary Clinton took the high road by praising Obama's patriotism, but she expressed sympathetic concern, as a fellow Democrat, that Republicans would raise the issue of Obama's relationship to mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden: "I'm sure he's very patriotic," Clinton said of Obama. "But his relationship with mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9-11 attacks in my city of New York, will be questioned by Republicans."

Proving Hillary Clinton's insight into Republican tactics, John McCain today questioned Obama's relationship to mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden: "I'm sure he's very patriotic," McCain said of Obama. "But we question his relationship with mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9-11 attacks in Hillary Clinton's city of New York."

Both McCain and Clinton have demanded that Obama immediately reject and denounce mass-murdering terrorist, Osama Bin Laden, as well also his own kindergarten teacher, his kindergarten teacher's family friend, his kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin, and his kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's grandmother, not to mention anyone else who is connected to Osama Bin Laden by six or fewer degrees, which, according to social scientists, includes 6.6 billion people.

In response, Obama criticized the press as well his opponents for engaging in "gotcha politics" and for sensationalist coverage of non-issues. Representatives of the press responded that since Obama's opponents had issued press statements about his relationship with mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden, the relationship had become, ipso facto, a campaign issue and thus merited sensationalist coverage.

Representatives from the Clinton campaign, who asked not to be identified so they wouldn't be held accountable, have also darkly hinted that Obama has more skeletons in his closet which might be questioned by Republicans, including six-degree relationships with racist bigots, steroid-using athletes, elitist snobs, and Kevin Bacon. They also alluded to rumors that Barack Obama's last name and Osama's first name differ by just one letter and called on him to reject and denounce the "O-ama" part that the two are alleged to share.