Q: What do you call a politician whose vote is directly correlated to the interests of his major political donors?

A:  A centrist.

Q: How do you know when Lynn Cheney is lying?

A: Her mouth is moving.

 

Q: What will Sarah Palin's do next?

A: Professor of Russian Studies at Regent University.

 

Q: What technique did federal penitentiaries use to dramatically reduce recidivism rates of prisoners?

A: They piped in Joe Lieberman speeches for two hours a day.

 

Q: Why did the "inquisitors" at Gitmo switch from Joe Lieberman to Red Hot Chili Peppers to force sleep deprivation?

A: They had to reduce the number of suicide attempts.

 

Q: How do the Treasury and The Federal Reserve plan to cut back on internal expenditures?

A: They plan to share office space with Goldman Sachs.

 

Q: What is wrong with the answer above?

A: They already share office space.

 

Q: Who recently gave a remarkable performance in an updated version of Buñuel's classic film - The Exterminating Angel?

A: The New York State Senate.

 

Q: What did Harry Reid say when informed that the Republicans were going to mount another filibuster?

A: No one knows because no one could hear his response.

 

Q: What is a fiscal conservative?

A:  A politician who votes to cut marginal tax rates at the top and balances it by cutting services for the poor.

 

Q: What did Barack Obama say when his elementary school classmate stole his lunch money?

A: As a compromise, I won't eat lunch today. I can't let the good be the enemy of the perfect.

 

Q: Who is a firm believer that Dr. Strangelove was an instructional film?

A: Ralph Peters.

 

Q: Who is really angry by not being the answer above?

A: Dick Cheney, John Bolton, Charles Krauthammer, Richard Perle and Randy Scheunemann

 

Q: What did Barack Obama say when his college professor published Obama's research paper as his own?

A: It is my work and I am proud of it. I can't let the good be the enemy of the perfect.

 

Q: How did Meet the Press dramatically improve its ratings?

A: David Gregory changed to the same format as Dancing with the Stars.

 

Q: What will John Boehner be in his reincarnation?

A: A Burnt Sienna Crayola Crayon

 

Q: Why can't Alberto Gonzales get a job?

A: Every time he walks into the lobby of a company that is hiring, he has no idea why he is there.  

A: When interviewed, he can't recall his name.

A: When asked why he should be hired, he responds that he'll have to get back on that.

 

Q: Why won't health care reform pass?

A: The 47 million uninsured Americans are afraid of change and want to maintain the status quo.

 

Q: What is the title of John Yoo's new book?

A: The Bill of Rights - An Idea Whose Time has Passed.

 

Q: Why did the Sunday television talk shows have a majority of Republican Party and Conservatives as guests during the Bush (43) years?

A: Because Republicans controlled the Presidency and both Houses of Congress.

 

Q: Why do the Sunday television talk shows still have a majority of Republican Party and Conservatives as guests now?

A: Because the minority party needs to have its voice heard.

 

Q: Why am I stopping now?

A: My border collie herded six sheep in the back yard and I have to play a DVD with Camille Saint-Saëns' Organ Symphony.