Fancy Jell-O
Man, what a day!
Every Fourth of July for the past 30 years it's over to the in-laws for feasting and card playing. Bring a dish to pass. I most often bring jello....it's the only thing I've ever brought that gets eaten. Apparently, I'm not worthy of shredding cabbage for coleslaw let alone anything more involved like a pie or a cake. I mean, do they figure; Who can fark up jell-o? Therefore it is safe for them to eat what I prepare? Well, actually, I've seen farked up jell-o, it ain't purty, and it was a whole lot of trouble to get it that way. I know this because I saw it happen. To whom, I shall not say.
Anyhoo. I bring the jell-o into the mother-in-law place and head for the fridge and there's all the sisters-in-laws draped around the room like moss covered gargoyles and one of them says. "She brought the fancy jell-o. Again."
It was true, of course. I brought the same fancy orange jell-o that I always bring because it gets eaten.
But, it was the "Again" that irked me, dripping with snarky pomposity, innuendo, and disdain. Like after thirty years, my fancy jell-o was boring or something.
So, I'm on the look out for tried and true fancy jell-o recipes that I can bring next year. Anybody got one to share? I'm especially interested in one that is made with dirty dish water. I will, of course, boil the dirty dish water first. Mebbe.
I'll start off with...
Fancy Orange Jell-o
1 Large (6oz.) pkg. orange gelatin (sugar-free is fine)
1 3/4 cups boiling water (probably should use the clean stuff)
1 pint orange sherbet
1or 2 small cans of mandarin orange slices, drained
Dissolve the jello in boiling water. Stir in sherbet and stir until dissolved. Add the drained oranges. Refrigerate.
Every Fourth of July for the past 30 years it's over to the in-laws for feasting and card playing. Bring a dish to pass. I most often bring jello....it's the only thing I've ever brought that gets eaten. Apparently, I'm not worthy of shredding cabbage for coleslaw let alone anything more involved like a pie or a cake. I mean, do they figure; Who can fark up jell-o? Therefore it is safe for them to eat what I prepare? Well, actually, I've seen farked up jell-o, it ain't purty, and it was a whole lot of trouble to get it that way. I know this because I saw it happen. To whom, I shall not say.
Anyhoo. I bring the jell-o into the mother-in-law place and head for the fridge and there's all the sisters-in-laws draped around the room like moss covered gargoyles and one of them says. "She brought the fancy jell-o. Again."
It was true, of course. I brought the same fancy orange jell-o that I always bring because it gets eaten.
But, it was the "Again" that irked me, dripping with snarky pomposity, innuendo, and disdain. Like after thirty years, my fancy jell-o was boring or something.
So, I'm on the look out for tried and true fancy jell-o recipes that I can bring next year. Anybody got one to share? I'm especially interested in one that is made with dirty dish water. I will, of course, boil the dirty dish water first. Mebbe.
I'll start off with...
Fancy Orange Jell-o
1 Large (6oz.) pkg. orange gelatin (sugar-free is fine)
1 3/4 cups boiling water (probably should use the clean stuff)
1 pint orange sherbet
1or 2 small cans of mandarin orange slices, drained
Dissolve the jello in boiling water. Stir in sherbet and stir until dissolved. Add the drained oranges. Refrigerate.
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Your recipe sounds perfectly yummy to me. But might I suggest a separate bowl for the especially "loved ones"? They deserve the very best, after all.
The laxative won't affect them for too long.
July 5, 2009 1:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
PS - "moss covered gargoyles" - could not be more perfect.
July 5, 2009 1:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah, mebbbe a little Ex-lax in the jell-o would help unstiffen the gargoyles. Thanks for the idea! (Insert eeeeevil laugh here.)
July 5, 2009 10:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
seconded
July 5, 2009 11:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
The only way I ever enjoyed Jello was when it was mixed with whip cream.
The end.
July 5, 2009 1:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
I like red jello. With or without whipped cream.
Green is nice too.
July 5, 2009 11:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hey flower,
I deplore that kind of bunk among family. Fortunately it doesn't happen around my family any more.
My grandmother was a gourmet. Her thing was to use cream cheese with jello. She would melt cream cheese into part of the jello and make a layer out of it. Real strawberries in strawbery or cherries in cherry etc. She sometimes put pineapple bits in the cream cheese part.
I say always make something that tastes great so that their jealousy is obvious and they have to deny themselves 'not' to eat it:)
Hope you didn't let these ladies rain on your parade.
Happy Independence Day!
July 5, 2009 1:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm trying the cream cheese melty thing next year. Thanks sent to your grandma wherever she be, Synch.
July 5, 2009 11:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
Flower - How about adding tequila in place of the water and maybe half the sherbet? That should knock the gargoyles out and save you the bother of boiling the water, dirty or not. And I'm willing to bet it will go even faster than in prior years.
What's not to like?
July 5, 2009 6:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
Adding tequila sounds purty dang good. I think there's a half a bottle of it around the house somewhere...left over from 10 years or so ago. Does tequila go bad? On second thought, does it matter? :o)
July 5, 2009 11:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Flower, my heart goes out to you.... I'm not the one to come up with a jello recipe. But it's strange that they eat it - but complain... That's where I'm stuck! Sounds like you are too.
Sometimes there's no pleasing relatives. And no reason why...
You've got friends here!
Jello story: much appreciated! :-)
July 5, 2009 8:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
I was stuck, TheraP. Just could not figure out the dynamic of Mr.flowerchild's family at all. So, about 20 years ago I gave up. It's worked out pretty good. ;o)
July 5, 2009 11:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
Good move, flower! ;)
July 5, 2009 11:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
Know the feeling of in-law strife........I hated to have them over cuz I never was at ease serving them anything and so I would get nervous and botch up at least one thing.
Your recipe and some of the other more tasty ones above are noted. Thanks to all who contributed to Flower's blog.
Love ya, Maggie Two Shells
July 5, 2009 12:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks for stopping by and commiseratin' with me, Maggie!
July 5, 2009 8:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ok Flower, years ag I tried this and it was good
Orange Jello Cream Pie
* 1 package (8 serving size) orange jello
* 6 oz (3/4 of the standard 8 oz tub) cool
whip (or other non dairy whipped topping (or
dairy whipped topping)), thawed!
* 1 9" premade graham cracker crust (or your
own crust)
* 1 15? oz can of mandarin oranges, reserve 8
or so for top decoration
* 2+ tsp fresh lemon zest (optional)
1. Mix up the jello with 2 cups boiling water
stir as directed, then only 1.5 cups
icewater.Chill for 5-7 min in the freezer
or until thickened but still pourable.
2. Mix in cool whip. Add lemon zest if using.
3. Put a little jello mixture on the bottom of
the crust, top with most of the oranges,
put as much jello mixture as will fit on
top. There will be a couple of cups
leftover if you're using the regular (not
deep) 9" crust.
4. Decorate and refridgerate to set (at least
1-2 hours)
Any flavor of jello can be used for any flavor pie you want, of course you can omit the oranges.The lemon zest is also a kicker touch.It is delicious and if I can do it anyone can.
July 5, 2009 2:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
There ya go. That's it.
I hereby render unto you the Dayly Jello Award of the Day for this here TPMCafe site given from all of me to all of you.
I actually could eat this and enjoy it.
July 5, 2009 6:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don, this is way too good for gargoyles. I'll make this for Thanksgiving, which so far, has always been gargoyle free. :o)
July 5, 2009 8:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
The idea of Jello and alcohol, aka Jello shots, is attributed to the comedian Tom Lehrer. As he said in this article:
July 5, 2009 4:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wot I was sayin', Larry!
July 5, 2009 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
watermelon jello-o.
also.
July 5, 2009 6:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
http://www.jello-shots-and-shooters.com/jello-shot-recipes.html
:o)
July 5, 2009 9:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
See, the frugal part of me says, "Why waste good likker on gargoyles?" But, the mischievous part of me asks, "Wouldn't it be hilarious to see the gargoyles passed out drunk all over mother-in-laws living room?"
Fortunately, or not, the grown-up part of me will step in and tell the rest of me(s) that it isn't nice to trick gargoyles into ingesting spiked jell-o made with just a touch of dirty dish water. Even if I did strain the floaters out first.
Thanks for the link, Larry.
July 5, 2009 9:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
OK flower, this is my grammas recipe as near as I can remember it.
Pkg of Jello (any flavor)
Pkg of cream cheese
Packet of Dream whip
Make Jell-O, mix half with package of cream cheese, put into mold.
Take half of what is left, pour on top of cream cheese mixture
Take remaining Jell-O and combine with prepared Dreamwhip, pour on top of THAT.
It's gooood
(you can add fruit to the middle layer )
July 5, 2009 9:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
That will look purty in a tall glass serving thing-a-ma-bob. One that looks like a giant shot glass. I'm trying this one, too. Thanks, cheekun!
July 5, 2009 10:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Flower: one of the funniest, and its way most meaningful things I inherited from my completed caring grandmother was a handwritten notebook in which she had detailed all the recipes she used for church suppers. Not that I have had a venue in my own life to use these recipes. But never mind. I think your jello hell can be turned into a thought-provoking "mellow jello/hello?" by whipping up this recipe, from my Gran, for your next family gathering:
"BODY AND BLOOD OF JESUS JELLO" (a recipe by Marie Antoinette Mae Mills for 400 Servings):
12 cups fresh or frozen cranberries
4 cups miniature marshmallows
3 cups sugar
6 cups finely chopped peeled tart apples
5 cup halved green grapes
1 1/2 cup chopped nuts
1 teaspoon salt
4 cup whipping cream, whipped
DIRECTIONS
Mash cranberries. Add 1 cup communion wine. Transfer to a bowl; add the marshmallows and sugar. Cover and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight. Just before serving, stir in the apples, grapes, nuts and salt. Fold in whipped cream.
July 5, 2009 9:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Um, where's the Jello-O?
=D
July 5, 2009 10:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oops. (Why do I post a comment when I have been up since 3am, and have had too much stress and, also, white, rather than communion wine?)
Please add in to the recipe:
1o packages of rasberry jello
July 5, 2009 10:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
awww. (rubs WW's shoulders)
Stress sucks.
July 5, 2009 10:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Stress does indeed suck. But graceful people know "when to fold, rather than hold them."
So I shall retire, knowing that :tomorrow is another day."
(Thanks, Bwak, for saving my face, if not grace, by pointing out my oversights.)
July 5, 2009 10:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ack! I just like jell-o, and I sure hope that tomorrow is great for you.
(feet crossed)
(falls over)
July 5, 2009 10:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
I would make this just so I could tell 'em the name. :o) I didn't even think the jello was missing....thought the whole thing was held together with whipped cream. This faulty thinking is probably why I have wandered aimlessly in jell-o hell for three decades, fighting off gargoyles with mandarin orange slices. Kahblah! (Klingon for Success!) Now I am armed with great recipes of jell-o-osity and I shall smite those sisters-in-laws next July 4th!
Thank you, Wendy, and I hope you get some good rest tonight.
Here...I just dropped this off at TheraP's place, but it might help you to destress, too. It always helps me.
The Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
July 5, 2009 11:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh, thank you for this, Flower. My mother kept the Desiderata, in a small frame, on her bedside table. I'd forgotten. Migwetch (sp?)
July 6, 2009 11:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
That would be my "completely caring" grandmother, rather than my completed caring grandmother. But then, she as a complete person, who completed her life, in humor and grace. Mebbe my typo was an accurate apppraisal.
In any case, the sisters-in-law cannot top this for effort and sincerity.
July 5, 2009 10:00 PM | Reply | Permalink