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I think more than a few people were taken aback on Monday when, after posting a $2.5 billion dollar profit for the first quarter (NYT: Bank Profits Appear Out of Thin Air), Bank of America's stock dropped by more than 25%.

I really hope no one was more shocked than Lelsie Stahl of 60 Minutes. As she read the news in the papers on Tuesday, wondering about  how it happened, I hope she also wondered whether her job is in jeopardy. Looking back at her 60 Minutes segment about Bank of America from October, it seems she produced one of the most un-investigative reports of all time.

Watch her journalist skills in action-after the collapse of Lehman and after the intial TARP bailout-as she cuddles up with the CEO of Bank of America Ken Lewis and looks on in admiration and appreciation when he says he "deeply believed" that it was his patriotic duty to take the money, infering he wouldn't have done it otherwise, and how he believes bank executives make too much money.

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This is the same Bank of America that has now run its tab with the U.S. government up to $163 billion, when including both preferred stock options and asset guarantees, but apparently still needs an extra $36.6 billion just to catch up to its other crippled peers.

And those bank executives that are making too much money? They are getting a 70% hike in their base salaries just to skirt the bonus restrictions imposed by the new administration.

Lewis smoothly sails along throughout  the whole puff piece (looking back puff piece might be an understatement), while Stahl remarks that "one of the reasons bank of America is doing so well is your decision not to get into sub prime mortgages," and then rewards Lewis for his apparent prescience by declaring, "during this crisis people are taking money out of other banks and putting it in his."

The entire segment is worth a watch, especially at the climax where both Stahl and Lewis share a laugh with each other as she states, "Well if you're number one and the idea was to compete with New York or Wall Street, you won!"

Lewis then smirks, perhaps not quite understanding how he is getting away with this, and remarks, "Yes, we have won in that sense."

Cross posted at PSA

You can be a lot of things and still be the leader of the Republican Party.

You can be an alcoholic for most of your life, an inarticulate public speaker, and generally incompetent (George Bush).

You can be corrupt, unethical, and an overall horrible human being (Tom Delay).

You can make a fool of yourself and your party in virtually every interview you are involved in (Michael Steele).

You can even be a drug addict and a serial womanizer despite the party's anti-drug and pro-marriage platform (Rush Limbaugh).

But what you can't be, what is completely out of the question, is anything close to pro-choice. And Michael Steele just committed that ultimate sin. He is as good as done.

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As Republicans voted against the $789 billion stimulus package en masse again today, they were also publicly declaring that this ultimately unsuccessful strategy was actually a  victory. The whole process was a blessing, they said, because they have now "found their voice," as if that fact is supposed to send a shiver down Barack Obama's spine. In actuality, it probably means the complete opposite.

We all remember when Hillary Clinton declared she had "found her voice" after the New Hampshire primaries. It was her come from behind victory, her springboard to the nomination. And then she promptly got beat up in South Carolina, Super Tuesday, and about ten additional primaries.

Three months later, according to her biggest supporter Gov. Ed Rendell, she "found her voice" again in Pennsylvania and Ohio. Unfortunately for her, this was also the time everyone realized it was almost mathematically impossible for her to win the nomination.

John McCain was also great at "finding his voice." He actually found it a bunch of times. He was hoping he found it when he claimed, upon hearing about the Leyman Brothers collapse, that "The fundamentals of our economy are strong." But most people thought his real voice-finding experience was when he finally stopped beating around the bush and started calling Barack Obama a "socialist". Others think it was in his final days, which were marked by his obsession with Joe the Plumber. Whichever time it really was, we know it was after McCain's own advisers knew he couldn't win and didn't know whether they should tell him.

So, the Republicans can claim victory in the face of reality with this stimulus bill. They can smile for the cameras and say they finally "found their voice." But that press conference will make me smile, too, because it can only mean one thing: they can't win and they know it.

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Remember when...

People said Obama could never win the vote of white people?

Or black people?

Or Hispanics?

Or Pennsylvania and Ohio when Clinton won them during the primary?

Or Michigan and Florida when he didn't campaign there during the primary?

That was pretty funny.

I live in New York City, and the stock market may be down the day after the election, but I have never seen more smiling people on the subway in my life. Usually my morning ride is filled with looks of murderous rage or hostile indifference. Most of the miserables heading to work at 9 am look like they will either snap into a rampage or breakdown crying if they so much as have to move over to share their seat. I'm not even getting any scowls when I hit people with my backpack or spill coffee on them anymore. Weird.

While it is generally deplorable that John McCain's campaign is sending out hundreds of thousands of sleazy robocalls essentially insinuating that Barack Obama is a terrorist, McCain also may be doing the country a service. We finally have the definitive test of whether our country has the intelligence to survive as a superpower for the next century.

And that test is this: Will the People of the United States, in the most important election of their lifetime, have their decision swayed BY A FUCKING ROBOT?

Only time will tell.

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For the past month, major news outlets have been publishing articles every few days with headlines like “Can Obama pull it off?”, “Obama supporters say get tougher, more passionate,” “Democrats of Capitol Hill fear Obama fallout,” and my personal favorite in terms of ignorance “What Obama needs to do.” These articles have two things in common. First, they quote Democratic “operatives” or “strategists–completely unaffiliated with the Obama campaign– who worry and vent about every decision he makes. Second, all these people are losers.

Now I’m not trying to call these strategists names because I disagree with them. They are losers in the sense that they know nothing about winning. These are the guys that have been running losing Democratic campaigns for the last decade. There is a reason they are “unaffiliated” with the Obama campaign: Obama did not want them.

David Plouffe, David Axelrod, and the rest of the Obama team have proven they know how to win elections. They took down the Clinton political machine everyone thought was unbeatable, and that’s the reason why they could care less about all these people are whining. They beat Clinton while those same blowhards were criticizing them every step of the way back then, as well. Consequently, every time they talk about Obama’s strategy, they fail to mention the MASSIVE Obama ground operation that made the difference in those primaries and is going to make the real difference in this election.

Yes, the polls have fluctuated in the last month and for a while it looked like Obama was slipping, but watch this video of David Plouffe (I'm sure many of you have seen it already) calmly and rationally explain exactly how they are going to win. Does he sound worried to you?

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The reason it is so easy to see through both McCain and Sarah Palin's bullshit about earmark spending and how "she's against pork barrel spending" is Barack Obama actually authored the bill, with Republican Tom Coburn, that makes it so easy for anyone with a computer to find out.

"Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act," a bill that will create a Google-like search engine and database to track approximately $1 trillion in federal grants, contracts, earmarks and loans.

"By helping to lift the veil of secrecy in Washington, this database will help make us better legislators, reporters better journalists, and voters more active citizens," Obama said.

Here's the website: http://www.usaspending.gov/

When talking about all the lies the McCain campaign has been pushing, after blaming it squarely on McCain, why not mention the guy masterminding all this: campaign strategist Steve Schmidt. And EVERY TIME you say his name, you give him a title:

"Karl Rove Protégé Steve Smith said (whatever bullshit he made up this time)."

Now, they might poll test the phrase and find some idiots think protégé is too "elitist" of a word. Then they can just go with "Karl Rove's most famous student Steve Schmidt." Either way, putting the Karl Rove stamp on their credibility will really drive home to the American people just how sleazy this is, and no matter what McCain does, he is still just another George Bush.

Since I usually judge movies only by their soundtracks, I figured that philosophy would work for the presidential election as well. Thankfully, earlier this week, Barack Obama and John McCain released their Top Ten Songs of All Time to Blender Magazine, and suprisingly my theory works even better than with movies.

BARACK OBAMA
1. Ready or Not Fugees
2. What’s Going On Marvin Gaye
3. I’m On Fire Bruce Spingsteen
4. Gimme Shelter Rolling Stones
5. Sinnerman Nina Simone
6. Touch the Sky Kanye West
7. You’d Be So Easy to Love Frank Sinatra
8. Think Aretha Franklin
9. City of Blinding Lights U2
10. Yes We Can

JOHN McCAIN
1. Dancing Queen ABBA
2. Blue Bayou Roy Orbison
3. Take a Chance On Me ABBA
4. If We MakeIt Through December Merle Haggard
5. As Time Goes By Dooley Wilson
6. Good Vibrations The Beach Boys
7. What A Wonderful World Louis Armstrong
8. I’ve Got You Under My Skin Frank Sinatra
9. Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes The Platters

Obama proves to be cool (the Fugees), fresh (Kanye), classy (Sinatra), and arguably the greatest of all time (Gimme Shelter). Not to mention he just has overall good taste (I’m On Fire, Marvin Gaye in general), but his own tribute for Song #10? That’s a little arrogant.

McCain proves to be cheesy (ABBA? Twice!?), corny (Neil Diamond), and really, really old (Song #2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10).

Honestly, there really is no older sounding name in the History of American Music than Merle Haggard. Someone should have told him not to put that on his list.

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A year ago:

Is he black enough?

10 months ago:

Is he too black??

8 months ago:

Is he Christian enough?

6 months ago:

Is he too Christian??

2 months ago:

Is he presidential?

Now:

Is he too presidential??










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Bobby: …and so that is how E=mc2. Any questions?

Teacher: Yes, Bobby, you seemed to be a little too in control of the facts. Was that arrogance I heard in your voice?

Bobby: Umm, well, everything I said is true and I backed up it with empirical data, primary source information and government statistics in my accompanying research paper.

Teacher: Still, you sound a little too sure of yourself. Although everything you said was accurate, I’m taking points off for that smug look on your face.

Bobby: What?

Teacher: Any other questions from the class?

Another student: Are you a Muslim?

Bobby: Excuse me!?

Teacher: He’s got a good point there, Bobby. Your skin color is slightly darker than the rest of the class and your last name is spelled funny. How do you respond to the charges that you’re a Muslim?

Student: Well….I…I just don’t think that’s relevant.

Teacher: (shaking his head)

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