A gal can dream, can't she? In any case, I hope a few people will call their reps and ask for this speech.

So the new theory is that a massive government spending program--or "infrastructure investment program" will get us out of the mess we're in.

I'm very ambivalent about the "we have to spend a ton of money" theme. It will sound frivolous to overspent, maxed out, financially exhausted Americans, and will really grind the tails of those who have patiently invested over the years only to have their savings deteriorate almost overnight.

Strangely enough, what I think the government needs to do is stop staring at the mechanics of the economy and just talk with "the real America," if you will. Here's the speech I dream of George Bush delivering before Thanksgiving (or Obama after Jan 20 if it takes that long):

"We have a real housing mess here, and I know that's upsetting for Americans because we all treasure the land, the homes and neighborhoods that support our lives. We in your government value your willingness to invest in your homes and take out debt to pay for them, but in the regulatory environment over the past few years, we lost sight of that. We are partially responsible for what has happened here--we set it up so that some in the finance community could play fast and loose with your debt by handing out trick mortgages and others could make money betting against your ability to pay them. We are sorry for the trouble we have caused.

We are going to repair this, and restore the relationship between you, your government, and the financial community. We're not going to tell you to go shopping--we tried that, and we all ended up with a lot of stuff but not much security. So we are going to take a more careful approach.

As of today, foreclosures are suspended for all occupied homes properly maintained by their owner. The loophole that allowed some to make money by betting against your ability to make your mortgage payments is closed. We have embarked on a program to find a way that every person, rich or poor, who wants to stay in their home can do so, with dignity and at fair rates that take into account the current value of your home, not necessarily the price you paid during the bubble market of the past few years. We will begin this program with bubble mortgages in the hardest-hit neighborhoods and work our way up the line until housing stabilizes and more importantly, your confidence is restored.

We also promise to undertake reasonable steps to invest in infrastructure that all Americans can use, enjoy, and profit from. We won't overspend, because unfortunately, your government has some big debt to pay as well, but you can be assured of some careful attention being paid to education, "green" industry, and ...etc.

Moving forward, your input will be appreciated. We will do our best to clear the lobbyists out of our hallways so that we can better represent ordinary people who need to be heard. Please be patient with us during this process, and stay in it with us. Government of the people, by the people and for all of the people, not just some of the people, is not easy to achieve. But this election has shown us that participation in the political process has a bright future. We look forward to embracing that future with all 300 million of you who make America what it is.

Thank you, happy holidays, and God Bless America."