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The Mark Sanford Press Conference Contest
This contest requires you to put yourself in the shoes of SC Gov. Mark Sanford.
Picture it. Charleston, 2009. You're standing behind a lectern, in your first presser after having read a prepared statement in which you admitted to hiking in the Appalachians flying to Argentina to clear your head having an extramarital affair.
The first question you're asked is: "Governor, why did you fly down to South America?"
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to answer that question.
We're looking for brevity, originality and an extra helping of snark. I look forward to the wits of TPM having some fun with this.
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"Sure, I could kick the can down the road; in two years, I'll be safely out of office. But it would be irresponsible."
June 24, 2009 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
I had a tryout with the Argentinian national team. It's always been my dream to play in a World Cup.
(It was original when I first wrote it, earlier today, in a comment on another thread.)
June 24, 2009 6:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
"I'm working on a new Southern Strategy for my party."
June 24, 2009 6:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
"The truth is I never left you."
June 24, 2009 7:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is the best one so far. Thanks for the belly laugh.
June 24, 2009 9:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
My post from another thread:
Don't Cry for Me Argentina.
June 24, 2009 7:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
"I'm drawing a blank, and I hate when I do that, especially on television,"
June 24, 2009 7:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
It was too far to walk. I am the governor and I have a lot of responsibilities that take up most of my time.
June 24, 2009 8:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
I promised the "little governor" that I would take him south of the equator.
June 24, 2009 9:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
"I was working on my Hispanic outreach program."
June 25, 2009 1:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
"I was just doing some off-shore drilling."
June 25, 2009 1:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ack!
=D
June 25, 2009 7:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Keyboard under attack from nose coffee! Help!
June 25, 2009 8:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
This one does it! Perfect!
June 25, 2009 9:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
It was the only country that will still allow a Republican to enter.
June 25, 2009 8:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
Boyd, between sweetmolly and you, the competition is OVER!
Who could top them? Hint: Not Sandford!
June 25, 2009 9:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Media: "Governor, why did you fly down to South America?"
Sanford: "South America is only down when you look at a map. I'm certain that the the South Americans don't consider their country to be down. There is no South Carolinian domination of South America, and there never will be under a Sanford administration."
June 25, 2009 9:14 AM | Reply | Permalink
John Ensign said it had an exotic coastal road.
June 25, 2009 9:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
My mile-high club miles were fixin' to expire.
June 25, 2009 9:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
"I was diagnosed recently with a particularly virulent strain of.....jungle fever."
June 25, 2009 10:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
Gov. Sanford: "To find a different stimulus package that would pampa."
June 25, 2009 11:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
Governor, why did you fly down to South America?
Sanford: "What do YOU think?"
June 25, 2009 4:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
"I flew down to Argentina as a metaphor for my unwillingness to commit. To my wife, to my children but, to be fair, also to my paramour, as a relationship at this distance precludes even the semblance of commitment, while serving as an understandable rationale for rare connection. Rare Connection, hmmm, maybe that would be a good title for my autobiography? Now that's impoewtant.. I need a segue into a new career, as others -- my wife, the press, my Lt. Gov, even my staff (et tu, Brute?) have made my presidential hopes mute. (Why could everyone not play along? )
June 25, 2009 5:15 PM | Reply | Permalink