Today I noticed repeated Hyundai advertisements on TV promising that if you happened to lose your income, you could return your new Hyundai and “walk away.” I’ve got to give them some credit because fear of losing my job is at least part of why I am reluctant to buy a car right now. But what could be more futile than walking away from a car after absorbing the initial depreciation and making a few payments towards interest?

Hyundai’s website calls their vehicle return program Assurance: Certainty in Uncertain Times.

They do promise to cover up to $7,500 in negative equity. But the small print lays out a more complicated transaction than simply returning the car. You must file a benefit request, which must be approved, and you must pay the difference between the dealer’s determination of the car’s value and something called the Assurance benefit. IOW, if you’re having trouble making payments, you’re probably going to get stuck paying more than just one payment to walk away from the car.

The program may be better than being stuck with the car payments, but it isn’t enough to bring me into the showroom.

The word Assurance reminded me of the Monty Python short, The Crimson Permanent Assurance, which you can enjoy here:

Part One

Part Two

In the bleak days of nineteen-eighty-three, as England languished in the doldrums of a ruinous monetarist policy, the good and loyal men of the Permanent Assurance Company — a once-proud family firm, recently fallen in hard times — strained under the yoke of their oppressive new corporate management.

Pushed beyond the bounds of decent and reasonable victimisation, the aged retainers take their destiny in their own hands and — Mutiny!

And so, the Crimson Permanent Assurance was launched upon the high seas of international finance.

There it lay, the prize they sought, the richest jewel in the crown of the I.M.F.: a financial district swollen with multi-nationals, conglomerates, and fat, bloated merchant banks.

Hidden behind the faceless, towering canyons of glass, the world of high finance sat smug and self-satisfied as their future, in the shape of their past, slipped silently through the streets, returning to wreak a terrible revenge.

Adopting, adapting, and improving traditional business practises, the Permanent Assurance puts into motion an audacious and totally unsuspected takeover bid.

And so, heartened by their initial success, the desperate and reasonably violent men of the Permanent Assurance battled on … until, as the sun set slowly in the west, the outstanding return on their bold business venture became apparent: the once-proud financial giants lay in ruins, their assets stripped, their policies in tatters.

TCPA was funny and light-hearted back in the day, but somehow the financial ruins seemed all too real after the financial collapse of 2008.