We seem to have a state of widespread confusion on many important topics.  Let's sort this nonsense out once and for all:

Global Warming:  Totally not real.  Or, if it is, it's just something that is going to happen anyway due to the inexplicable natural climate cycles and therefore it is blasphemous and wrong for mankind to try and interfere with it.  It's certainly not anything that has anything to do with the 300 billion or so BTUs of energy the human race releases into the ecosphere every year or so, an amount which has increased pretty much every year since the Stone Age and will continue to increase until something happens that returns us... well, some of us, the small fraction that survives whatever it is... to the Stone Age again.  So, first, global warming is not real, and second, if it is, it isn't our fault, and third, if it is our fault, we still can't do anything about it because if God wants the Earth to get warmer, it's gonna get warmer, so shut up.

This is the official public policy position on global warming, and it's a fine one, and no more need be said.  However, just so people understand, underlying this excellent and irrefutable public policy is the following even more excellent and irrefutable political reasoning:  Al Gore came up with the whole idea of global warming, and Al Gore is a goddam liberal, so liberals pretty much own the whole global warming deal, so, obviously, if global warming is real then liberals are right about something and Al Gore is right about something and in the end we all might have to admit that Al Gore actually won the 2000 Presidential election and the entire Bush/Cheney thing was an illegal, outlaw regime and every single registered Republican is a criminal bastard who should go to jail.  And frankly, we will kill every single one of you before we ever admit to any of that.  So global warming isn't real, or if it is, it's cool and you need to shut up about it, and I hope we're clear on that.  Or else we'll have to kill you.  So shut up.

Imprisoning terrorists:  Keeping terrorists locked up forever without any kind of legal due process is a great idea as long as they're Islamic foreigners with weird names who probably wear towels on their heads and pray funny.  AND it's a great idea as long as they are locked up in some Communist country we should continue to have a complete and total trade embargo on because they're Commies.  But we cannot give these terrorists trials and we cannot set them free and we cannot imprison them anywhere in the actual U.S.A. because they're incredibly dangerous, which is proven by the fact that we've already got like 30 of these guys locked up in prisons in the U.S.A and look at all the high school girls kissing each other now.  I mean, jesus. 

Maybe keeping these goddam towelheads locked up at Gitmo forever isn't such a great idea.  We should probably just execute them all, and then airdrop their beheaded bodies into Iran to show how we feel about rigged Presidential elections, just like that episode of WKRP where downtown Cincinatti was bombed with turkeys on Thanksgiving.  Yeah.  That would show 'em.

The actual birthplace of 'President' Obama:  It's important to understand that B. Hussein Obama was almost certainly actually 'born' in the United States, (although, honestly, how 'American' is Hawaii, anyway?) and even if he wasn't his mother was an American citizen so wherever he was born (someplace in Africa) he's probably still an actual 'American citizen' (although by no stretch of the imagination can he be considered to be a TRUE American by the standards of decent, mainstream Americans like Sarah Palin and myself but that's a totally different thing).  But that's not really the issue, is it?  The issue actually is that clearly the White House is trying to hide something by refusing to release the actual original piece of paper that actually states where Obama was born, and they're probably doing this with the intention of making conservatives look bad, and that's just wrong.

Also, and this may not be the time to bring this up but hey, somebody has to do it:  our country was founded by good decent God fearing Christian white men and our Constitution pretty clearly states exactly how, for purposes of representation, people of B.  Hussein Obama's heredity and culture are to be counted.  Constitutionally, the validity of somebody of B. Hussein Obama's heredity and culture to serve in any kind of elected office in the United States of America would seem to be on kind of shaky ground.  I'm just sayin'.

Socialist  health care policies:  It's important to stay civil and keep the discussion of these things spirited but on a mature level, yes, it is.  But if we'd had that attitude back in the 40s when a certain National Socialist party in Germany was rounding up all the folks they didn't like and shipping them off to murder camps, well, the few of us still around would all be speaking German and saluting a flag with a swastika on it right now.  Civility is all well and good but let's not forget that we're at war and when you're fighting socialism like our grandparents did during The Big One that sometimes violence is the only way.  The National Socialists back then were rounding people up and sending them to camps; the socialists now just want to kill us all slowly by sending us to crappy government doctors like they're forcing on our poor wounded soldiers in that lousy Veteran's Administration.  Do you want your sick grandmother being treated by a VA doctor who got his medical degree in some cow college in India?  Do you want your kids to get flu shots from some grubby fingered raghead whose name you can't even pronounce?  If violent public demonstrations are what it takes to keep Obama's dirty fingers off your grandparent's Medicare, then I say it's a price we should all be willing to pay.  Our grandparents fought National Socialism abroad, now it's our turn to fight it on the home front.

'Former' Presidents:  Why is it that when the liberal mainstream media mentions Bill Clinton it's always 'President Bill Clinton', but when they mention George W. Bush, which they hardly ever do nowadays, by the way, and that's just wrong, it's always 'former President George W. Bush'?  Also, I'd like to say that if B. Hussein Obama had sent President George W. Bush over to North Korea to get those two chicks out of the hoosegow, he wouldn't have apologized to Kim Jong Il, he would have popped the little bastard's head off his neck and then led an airborne assault on the prison where they were being held. 

Also, of course Clinton went over to rescue those two chicks, I mean, they're kind of hot, and I'm sure they expressed their gratitude to him over and over again on the plane trip back to the States, I mean, you know what those Asian chicks are like, and we all know what Slick Willie is like.  Although I'm sure if he was asked he'd lie about it.  Someone should do a DNA test on those reporter chicks' dresses.  In fact, it's kind of a national scandal that the mainstream media hasn't shown any interest in investigating exactly what may have gone on between Clinton and those two Asian chicks on the plane trip back.  You know they'd have been all over President Bush if he'd ever rescued two hot Asian chicks and then spent a long plane trip alone with them.  It's typical.

Anyway, I hope this has cleared a few things up for everyone.