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Barack Obama Wins World Series


In a game that will be talked about for years, President Barack Obama pitched and hit his way to a 3-0 victory in a winner-take-all match-up against a squad of all-stars selected from the eight 2009 American and National leagues' playoff teams.  The President was allowed only one other player in the field, and he selected Detroit Tigers' catcher Gerald Laird as a battery mate (the Tigers missed their division's title, losing a one-game playoff to the Minnesota Twins.).

 

As the only batter in his team's lineup, Obama was forced to try to hit a home run in every at bat and swing at almost every pitch to avoid being stranded on base.  His hitting performance reflected this, with Obama getting only four hits in 31 at-bats, with no walks.  His hits consisted of three homers and a double when he was thrown out sliding into third.  "He didn't get a lot of hits but he made them count," said opposing squad manager, New York Yankees skipper Joe Girardi. 

 

On the mound, Obama threw 142 pitches over nine shutout innings, scattering six hits and two walks with one wild pitch.  Obama's shutout was in jeopardy when, up 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth, Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals hit a shot into the left field corner.  Retrieving the ball quickly, Obama chased Pujols down the third-base line, tagging him moments before he crossed the plate.  Asked if he felt Obama should have thrown him the ball for the tag, catcher Laird demurred, saying, "Pujols could have started a big rally, and in that situation you want your best player making the play."

 

As this year's World Series winner, Obama will next visit the White House where he will meet himself.  Asked if he will say anything to himself about national and world affairs, Obama said he didn't want to turn the event into "some kind of political spectacle - let's keep this about baseball."

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Inventor of the Metal Men, criminally insane for awhile but OK now.

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