Come and listen to my story

'Bout a man named Todd,

He raced snowmobiles

But not Iditarod.

He married Sarah 'Cuda

She took his last name,

That opened up the door to

The Palin Hall of Shame!

Trash, that is - trailer parks, felonies.

The next thing you know,

Young Sarah runs the town.

Don't cross the lady mayor,

'Cause she don't mess around.

Bein' mayor is fine,

But Sarah wasn't done,

She ran for governor

And she easily won.

Alaska, that is - up north, real cold.

That was A-OK

Until 2008,

When Senator McCain

Had to find a runnin' mate.

Sarah brought some buzz,

'Till a man from Illinois

Tossed 'em both aside

Like a couple o' toys.

Landslide, that is - vote for change, not McSame.

Sarah blamed old John

For a campaign that flopped,

Decided that the White House

Would be her next stop.

Little did she know

Of the problems on the way,

This Northern Star dimmed

A little every day.

Issues, that is - scandal plagued, crazy in-laws.

Daughter Bristol Palin

Was in "the family way."

She sent the daddy Levi

Off packin' one day.

This all by itself

Would give any mother stress,

But then Levi's mom was

Nabbed for sellin' meth!

Controlled substance, that is - sounded like meth, anyway.

Diana Palin's edge

Was bein' Todd's half-sis,

But Diana had a plan

That she knew just couldn't miss.

She'd burglarize a house

In the land of snow and ice,

If she missed something good,

She'd break into it twice!

Scene of the crime - they all come back now, y'hear?

There's a whole lot more

But that's all we're sayin' now,

Alaska's GOP

Is about to have a cow.

Knowin' Todd and Sarah

It's bound to get worse,

Check in next week

And we'll add another verse!

THE ANCHORAGE HILLBILLIES!