Pinch me. No, really wake me up I must be dreaming. This is too good to be true. I'm sleeping better than I have in weeks. I wake up feeling refreshed and smiley. And I hate mornings, but I can't find the room for hate now. I'm laughing.

Hatred towards liberals has become poison to a GOP campaign?! People are recognizing political techniques designed to divide us? Michelle Bachmann, I love you. Thank you for tipping the scales. You really forced this country together with a bang when you tried to divide us with your clumsy knife.

People see what a terrible choice Palin was? Ahhh Sarah. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Bless your heart. You show us the true meaning of greed and corruption. You spread this message with wide arms and a seething mass of human hatred in your wake. The more you divide, the more we come together. You are a pillar of the world, uniting us in a way no centrist ever could.

McCain himself is giving me the gift of love. Thanks, John! Attack attack attack! You are so good at it, and every time you do it the GOP sinks further and further. Why John, it's almost as if you're sabotaging your own campaign because you love Barack Obama so much! I can feel the love all the way from over here in California!

Now, excuse me, gotta roll over in this wonderful dream. I think pollster and fivethirtyeight and intrade might be bearing me more wonderful wonderful news.

(BTW, don't think this means I am complacent and will not vote! On contrary, Prop 8 MUST DIE)

Cops think I'm a criminal.
Criminals think I'm a cop.
Face down punk, your protest will stop.

Jocks think I'm a nerd.
Nerds think I'm a jock.
At least I know how to rock.

Hippies think I'm a metalhead.
Metalheads think I'm a hippie.
Punks just plain don't like me.

Hipsters think I'm uptight.
Businessmen think I'm cool.
Truly, I'm just some fool.

Christians think I'm the devil.
The devil thinks I'm not evil.
Once I'm in hell there is no retrieval.

God has abandoned me.
I have abandoned god.
This is just a facade.

Liberal is the club where I truly belong.
Far left I fly.
American liberties and pie.

Terrorist. John McCain and surrogates equate Bill Ayers with Al Qaeda and Bin Laden. These people are on a whole different level.

Did Ayers kill innocent people? No. If Ayers is such a dangerous terrorist, why is he a teacher in a university and not in jail? Why wasn't he executed for his crimes? Oh, right, it's because he never killed anybody.

Comparing the bombing of empty government buildings to 9/11 is disgusting. Ayers, though misguided, was fighting for the freedoms of Americans. Fighting against government tyranny.

Bin Laden on the other hand is fighting us, the American people. He demonstrated this very clearly when he killed 2000 of us.

John McCain talks a lot about Bill Ayers but hasn't said a word about Al Qaeda or Bin Laden in months. The only recent mention at all was a rebuttal to Obama in the second presidential debate, when he pledged to kill Bin Laden.

Therefore one of two things must be true:

1) John McCain thinks government buildings are more important than American people.

or

2) John McCain is pulling a stunt and is putting his campaign before the American people.

Either way, John McCain is screwing us all.

Let's look closely, shall we?

George W. Bush
Made so many mistakes and bad judgments that it's impossible to put them all in one paragraph. Each time, no matter how wrong or how badly GWB and his cronies f-d up, they stick by their decisions, never changing views to fit the facts. He even appears to attempt to cover up the issues with false talking points issued to Fox News. In other words, there is a constant stream of lies coming from the White House.

Dick Cheney
In bed with his oil buddies, has handed huge government contracts to Halliburton and it's subsidiaries. Said "national deficits don't matter". Americans owe huge amounts of money abroad and that doesn't matter? It's a slap in the face to pretty much *everyone*. A fellow once walked up to Dick Cheney and said something like "sir, I think you have done a terrible job for our country". Cheney had the secret service investigate the guy. Has also insinuated that Nixon's spying was just fine, he was "over-briefed". So, in Cheney's opinion, someone else needed to do the spying for Nixon so he could keep his hands clean. Nothing there about the spying being *horribly wrong*.

Karl Rove
Once said that 20% of people will believe what you say no matter what it is, and that these are the people the GOP should focus on. If you have terrible ideas that hurt most people in this country, this would be a fantastic way to get support. Karl brought a technique of the software sales industry called FUD to the world of politics. FUD stands for fear, uncertainty, doubt. The idea is to instill the fear of failure into the voter. His protoge Steve Schmidt has attempted this strategy in 2008, but it seems to have lost some of it's punch.

John McCain
Running the least honorable presidential campaign ever. Earlier this summer, he asked the world when Obama would "play the race card", acting like he would never stoop so low. Here we are in October, and Obama's race and past affiliations are all his campaign and surrogates talk about. He believes that his moral stance on abortion is more important than the rights of women, and he has said that he would appoint justices to the Supreme Court that believe the same.

Sarah Palin
A f-ing crazy moose hunter from Alaska who thinks that poking holes in our country and killing wildlife is a solution to something. Fascist.

Michele Bachmann
Called for a witch-hunt on her fellow American citizens because they don't believe in her politics. Another fascist.

Rush, Hannity, Oreilly, Larson
Making lots of money off the rabid GOP. They look for the lowest common denominator always - find a polarizing issue that doesn't actually matter, and accuse political opponents as treasonous for being on the wrong side. Lie if necessary because the lie is more powerful than any rebuttal. They incite normal people to violence through hate speech. All of them should be fired and arrested for this crime.

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Barack Hussein Obama
Raised hundreds of millions of dollars from very small contributions, averaging less than $100 each. This means millions of people believe in Obama so much that they have contributed, even though times are really tough and the economy is in the crapper. Every time McCain and surrogates lie and try to gain popularity through stunts, Obama's contribution numbers shoot through the roof. Hey, talking heads - when you insult Barack Obama and question his past and judgment, you ARE QUESTIONING THE JUDGMENT OF MILLIONS OF YOUR FELLOW AMERICANS. You are also often insulting us. Perhaps that's why we keep opening up our wallets. By the way, "hussein" means "handsome". If you're trying to insult Obama by calling him handsome, well that just makes you look dumb.

Joe Biden
Personally, I know less about Joe than the rest of the players in this year's campaign. The media does not really focus on the guy. However, he makes great points about the bad choices our country has made, and the half-assed solutions from John McCain. Personally, I like the guy. He's smart and with a single sentence he neutered Rudy Giuliani's tired 9/11 talking points. I can respect that.

Colon Powell
Viciously savaged by the right for simply *endorsing a good candidate that he likes and speaking out against hate*.

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In fiction, sometimes you can find a kernel of truth that's so profound it spills out of the fiction and into reality. Doctor Who, the time traveler from the BBC once said:

"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: they don't change their views to fit the facts, they change the facts to fit their views."

I think this sums up the GOP in a single sentence.