Why take the time for bible studies?

Well for me it is easy, I have no life. But for others who do have a life, think about this:

A 2005 poll suggested that 63% of Americans believe that every line in the bible is true. http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=43957

Americans' views on the Bible have not changed materially over the past 16 years. Gallup has asked this question about personal views of the Bible nine times since 1991. The percentage saying the Bible is the actual, literal word of God has remained in a relatively narrow range between 27% and 35% across this time period, with the average being 31%.

Prior to that point, however, the data suggest that Americans' belief in a literal Bible was slightly higher. Gallup asked the question seven times between 1976 and 1984, during which time an average of 38% said that the Bible is the actual word of God. At two points during this time period, 40% of Americans agreed with the literal interpretation view of the Bible. http://www.gallup.com/poll/27682/onethird-americans-believe-bible-literally-true.aspx

And let us not forget the Fred Flintstone Museums. http://creationmuseum.org/whats-here/exhibits/

First, I guess I would like to know how many Americans even know what the word 'literal' means. I mean have you seen some of those 'man on the street' interviews by Leno? A lot of idiots out there.

Second, I would like to know how many Americans have actually read Bereshit...I mean the entire Book.

Third, what is the exact percentage of Americans residing in mental institutions? It seems to me that this figure might be easily cross checked with the other polls.

We should be frightened by these polls. Remember, all but three repubs during the early debates in 2008 stated that they did not believe in evolution.  And most of these gentlemen went to college and everything.

Chapter Two of Bereshit begins with a recap:

Thus the heavens and the earth and all their array were completed (G ch2, V 1)

Whew. That was a lot of work.

At least the second chapter of Bereshit begins with some consistency. God took a nap and rested after his six day workweek and declared the seventh day to be a day of rest.

Now for our Jewish friends, the Sabbath would be Saturday.  For the Christians that would be Sunday. For the Muslims that would be Friday. Some quasi-Christian sects even chose Thursday for their Sabbath--I assume because the other religions had already taken the weekend.

I do not recall any controversies in my youth concerning Thursday Closing Laws.

I would underline here that these religions are in basic agreement with the chronology described in Bereshit through Abraham--and that makes this entire analysis scarier for anyone that hopes for some sort of advancement in Human Knowledge.

But the actual Sabbath day and the differences between the religions in recognizing what the proper day should be to recognize the majesty of the Creator, should not be an issue.

Man is always getting his calendar screwed up anyway. I figure it's much like our daylight savings time or problems with the Gregorian Calendar.

I mean, the Russians actually celebrated the Octobrist Revolution on November 3rd. I mean who is counting anyway?

A more important point is that the bible, written by the actual pen of God, would have us believe that the entire planet earth was somehow created in six days. But it gets worse, The sun, our planetary partners in this solar system, another 100-200 billion solar systems (every sun in the Milky Way is a solar system by the by, they all have something orbiting them) in our Milky Way (depending upon your sources) as well as another 100 billion galaxies were supposedly created in only three days.

Our entire known universe was created inside a week's time since God's employment contract provided for a day off for good behavior. At least He thought it was goooooood.

But one problem remains. If light travels at 186,000 miles per second, and the earth is 6000 years old, we would not have much of a night sky.

But wait. There appears to be a revision early on in this Book.

At the time when the Lord God made the earth and the heavens--while as yet there was no field shrub on earth and no grass of the field had sprouted, for the Lord God sent no rain upon the earth and there was no man to till the soil, but a stream was welling up out of the earth and watering the surface of the ground--the Lord God formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life and so man became a living being. (Gen. C2, V 5-7)

Why would Chapter 2 begin with the proposition that the heavens and the earth and their entire array were completed and immediately go into a new description of how man was created?

According to the chronology contained in Bereshit 1, man had already been created on the sixth day. Now, all of a sudden, we are told that we were created sometime between the third day and the fifth day.  That is, the plants had been created on the third day and Chapter 2 tells us that Adam was created before the first plant sprouted.

It would appear that Bereshit contains a rather strong contradiction in its first two pages. Be mindful though that there are fundamentalists that are fervent in their belief that there is nothing inconsistent in the first two chapters of this tome.

Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and he placed there the man whom he had formed. Out of the ground the Lord God made various ress grow that were delightful to look at and good for food, with the three of life in the middle of the garden and the tree of knowledge of good and bad.

A river rises in Eden to water the garden; beyond these it divides and become four branches.  The name of the first is the Pishon; it is the one that winds through the whole land of Havilah where there is gold. The gold of that land is excellent: bdellium and lapis lazuli are also there, the name name of the second river is Ghun, it is the one that winds all through the land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it is the on that flows east of Asshur. The fourth river is the Euphrates. (Gen. C2, V 8-14)

This is a fun description of Eden. Like Heinrich Schliemann seeking Troy by reading descriptions contained in the Iliad, one biblical archeologist looked at this geographical description to see if he could actually find Eden. He presented his conclusions on the National Geographic Network. It seems that anybody can find the Euphrates and the Tigris by looking at a map of Iraq. After finding the two rivers it was easy to figure out what the Bereshit author was describing the investigator finally concluded that the Garden of Eden actually sits a the site of a present day nuclear power plant:

Pave paradise

Put up a nuclear power plant

Now 'experts' disagree as to the 'real location' of this ephemeral place. I mean finding heaven is no easy task. I always thought they would someday locate Eden in the same place as Shangri-La.

Bereshit goes on to having God tell Adam he can eat anything except the fruit from the forbidden tree and God then goes ahead and creates Eve out of Adam's Rib. (Gen. Ch 2, V 21-22) This is recounted in a Tracy /Hepburn flick. Except I think they both end up in law school...er something like that. 

The forbidden fruit cannot be an apple because they had no apples available in the area and there were isolationist statutes at the time that really put a crimp in the import/export business.

Chapter three describes how Adam and Eve fall out of favor as a result of taking advice from a snake--I experienced a similar problem in the 1999-2000 market when I took advice from a snake. (Gen. Ch 3, V 8-14)

But it is the next verse that really warms my heart:

Because you have done this

You shall be banned from all the animals

And from the wild creatures

On your belly shall you crawl

And dirt shall you eat

All the days of your life 

This is supposed to be God talking to a snake. He is not speaking to Satan, He is speaking to a snake. Why he made a snake that could speak is beyond me.

Now as far as I can tell, snakes are not banned from all the other animals. I mean they are not good card players like some dogs I have seen, not real mixers so to speak. Oh well...

The next verse is one that rush's feminazis do not particularly appreciate:

I will intensify the pangs of your childbearing

In pain shall you bring forth children

Yet your urge shall be for your husband

And he shall be your master

Now think about this verse. First it appears to put women in a similar place as some nations in the Middle East.  Second, our fabulous duo did not have sex yet and had no children.  So it would be hard to exacerbate childbearing difficulties, SINCE NOBODY HAS BORE ANY CHILDREN YET.

But the next lines really demonstrate the best in a loving, caring god:

Cursed be the ground because of you

In toil shall you eat its yield

All the days of your life

Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to you

As you eat the plants of the field

By the sweat of your face

Shall you get bread to eat

Until you return to the ground

From which you were taken

For you are dirt

And to dirt you shall return (Gen. Ch 2, V 17-19)

What a fun deity. As far as Bereshit is concerned, man is nothing but dirt. This theme comes into play later on in this examination. But what a fun view of the universe. What a fun view of humanity. What a fun view of the earth.

Chapter three finally ends:

The lord God therefore banished him from the Garden of Eden, to till the ground from which he had been taken. When he expelled man, he settled him east of the Garden of Eden; and he stationed the cherubim and the firey revolving sword to guard the way to the tree of life. (Gen. Ch 2, Verse 24)

You know, when you look at it this way, Eden begins to look more and more like a nuclear power plant.