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I Came, I Saw, I Floundered


In a mansion erected on one of the Seven Hills, a meeting takes place between Julio and his mother concerning this new threat from Sulla.

 

Mumsy, it appears I must take my leave ASAP but I shall return once the heat is off, so to speak.

 

Julio, I am much concerned for the heir apparent of the Julian Clan and the Caesar Clan.  This Sulla is a dangerous man. He calls himself 'The Decider'. And I thought Marius was bad. I never really understood these civil wars. Sulla was one of Mario's greatest generals.

 

Wars, civil and otherwise, will always be with us Mumsy. I shall be a great war leader in a few years and I will make allegiances with those that help my future. The problem has been with the plebs. Both Sulla and Mario ignored the plight of the people, the masses.  Those who toil from day break to sun down. Those people are the foundation of RomeAsia and Africa, from Spain to Turkey. He has even abandoned his soldiers. Retirement brings with it no booty. I will one day make those soldiers the richest on all three continents. They will always give me their allegiance. and our New Empire. And I will get the support of that backbone of our realm, I will never ignore them. Sulla is too concerned with allegiances and bucking up his oligarchy. He has abandoned the road work needed to bring us commerce from

 

I pray for the days of the Brothers  Gracchi , Tiberius and Gaius, aka John and Bobby. They had a dream for a better nation, a nation that did not just reward those in power and those licking the boots of the powerful. Land reform. Pensions for those who worked for them. The end of oligarchy.

 

Bread and circuses, internet for all, that is what I say. Ha.

 

Mumsy, if you thought Marius was so bad, why the marriage arrangement tying our familia to Marius through my sister?  Oh well, I was able to go to war for the first time and met with POWER for the first time.  A lot of first times Mumsy.

 

Julio, I have packed your things and here are some coins and letters of credit to help you on your way. Hands him the purse. I think that you are wise to take a smaller retinue  for this journey.  Who exactly is accompanying you on your quest?

 

I am taking my friend Alejandro and Fracus and, of course, BC.

 

Julio, BC is sooooo disgusting. Make him clean up will you? Now remember your uncle is Governor of Asia, so if you run into any problems, contact him at this address. And I am not so happy about Alejandro either. At times your relationship with him gives me the chills.  YOU MUST ALWAYS AVOID THE APPEARANCE OF IMPROPRIETY.

 

Mumsy. I am what I am, and that is all that I am.

 

Caesar takes his leave of his mother, and retreats to the back gardens where his horses and supplies and retinue await.

 

BC, you did clean up. Did you bring those soft sponges from the Spanish coast this time.

 

Yes Master.

 

Good. Fracus, watch your posture this trip will you. People are starting to think I have drunken sailors for servants.

 

Julio, why the neat threads? You dress me in the finest white robes and yet you dress down in the meekest of togas?  Alejandro inquired.

 

Appearances are everything answered Caesar. And with that, our team proceed west with determination.  Caesar was always on the alert, but lived without fear. Fear is for the plebs and those patricians who think they have earned what they have stolen. Ha And his retinue always felt safe with their Caesar. After all, if you are not safe with Caesar, you will never feel safe at all.

 

After an hour or so on the road, Fracus took out his lyre:

 

Well Marius and Sulla

Used to be friends

And fought for the entire nation

When Sulla locked horns with his old boss

Out of total and complete frustration

 

Well Mario looked down

Put soldiers on the ground

And Sulla was none too frightened

Mario 's cause was lost

And ran in complete desperation

 

It was against Rome's Law

It was against Rome's Law

What Sulla saw

Mario broke the law

 

So we're on our way

We don't know where we're goin

We're on our way

From Sulla's great big army

We don't know where, but

Goodbye Rome and my own Juliana

Singin me and Julio

Down to the dockyards

Singin me and Julio

Down to the dockyards.

 

Well there are thieves on these roads

And pirates in the harbors

And Sulla's soldiers lookin all over

The best we can do

Is move like the wind

And seek hostels for our cover

 

Our Julio has rewards put

On his head put there all by Sulla

With many comin with some determination

But others know the good

Of finding this brood

On the road to their own salvation

 

It's against the law

That's what Sulla saw

Caesar's actin criminal and its

Against the law

 

So we're on our way

We don't know where we're goin

We're on our way

From Sulla's great big army

We don't know where, but

Goodbye Rome and my own Juliana

Singin me and Julio

Down to the dockyards

Singin me and Julio

Down to the dockyards.

 

Fine Fracus, remarked the Caesar. Just what we need on this bright, bright sunny day. You know I could make a song out of that. HA!!!

 

Our team, by sunset met their first hostel.

 

Meanwhile a few miles out to sea from the western harbor on an island frequented by senators and criminals we come upon a cabal of pirates.

 

Doofus and Roofus approach their captain. Master, Sulla's legates have met with us and notified us that that Caesar boy is on the run.  We are to stay on the look out for him. Once captured we are not to harm a hair on his head. And we will be paid handsomely.

 

Arghhhhh. I'm not so pleased to be doin the bidding of such a pig as Sulla. Everything I got, I earned the pirate way. I stole it fair and square, I say, and it is mine to do with as I please. And what I seek to seek, I shall seek without any interference from govments.  After all, govments are fleeting, but us pirates shall always be sailing the high seas as we have for centuries and will for centuries to come. Captain Rumsy had been in government for many years. He picked up his brogue after he was severely tortured by one of Sulla's fleets during the civil wars. Getting your throat slit can have a real effect upon your rhetoric, so to speak.

 

He watched as the senators became richer and richer off the slave trade while his own fortune diminished. It was then that the idea of outsourcing came to him.  All Rumsy had to do was take money from the public coffers in is capacity as auditor in the Mario Administration. He and Cheynius fired government workers and contracted with 'sailing enterprises' to supply wine and oil from Northwest Africa to a safe harbor not far from Rome. The two then received 'kickbacks' from the contract firms.

 

While on one of his 'missions', Rumsy witnessed a slaver arriving at the safe harbor and after some investigation, saw the captain of the slave ship walk away with a fortune. That was all it took.

 

Doofus, contact our spies at the harbor and get the word out.

 

I want this aristocrat boy and I want him now, declared Rumsy.


64 Comments

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Dickon, Dickon, Dickon...

Every time I think you've outdone yourself, you go and outdo yourself again. Pretty soon you'll be so out there we'll be sending Mulder and Scully to find you.

WELL DONE!!

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PS: The Paul Simon song was a really nice touch.

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Oh thanks LisB. I wrote the poem first, over the week end without a pc. I do not think Caesar is as interesting to the people here as Arthur.

I just could not decide. When I can't decide, I just do. I learned that here. ha

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And we certainly benefit from your learnings, Dickon.

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Ok, now we're back to getting the dd we expect! The guy who never disappoints and always surprises! The fellow who never quite finished a tale - but is always on the next one! Tales full of song and excitement, allusions to current politics and people at TPM as well.

You are amazing! Thanks once again!

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Oh such sweet words from such a sweet wordsmith.
Things are not that bad today. A few fights. Not so bad.

Thank you TheraP for your support.

Oh and if you have time check out CT on his health care blog.

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Looks like DD is back up to speed!

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I still love that cartoon Astral. It looks like you have as much fun as me. HA!!1

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Hey Astral, were any pets injured in the making of that film? HA!!!

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I came, I saw, I enjoyed immensely!

A new adventure has begun ...

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Hey Missy. I still have to work on some more Arthur.
Caesar and the Pirates had been on my mind for mor than four decades. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my drivel. I really appreciate it and I appreciate you.

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I so love traveling with you in your Wayback Machine, Mr. Peabody....er, Mr. Day, I mean. :o)

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I forgot all about Mr. Peabody, Flower. I always think of Fractured Fairy Tales. Rocky and Bullwinkle were the best.

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Sherman!

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You been gone, Dick? Why didn’t anybody say something? :)

Don’t forget Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale Don’t forget (my favrorites) Boris Badenov (no Czar but the Little Commie Caesar) and Natasha Fatale!

Everything I got, I earned the pirate way. I stole it fair and square, I say…

Yes, the way of the pirate. Skull and bones. Always good, Mr. Day.

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Thank you Don. Sometimes I just take a plank or two from the repub convention and enter it word for word into my prose. hahahaah

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I so look forward to your writings now that so many here have put me on to you - and how lucky i am. This was amazing and I found myself singing the words along with Paul, in my mind.....keep 'em coming friend.

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Thank you Maggie. I really am elated that people really read my stuff.

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Arthur...I'm tellin' ya my man, there has to be SOME way you can turn your talent into cold, hard cash...maybe we could just all pay a buck a pop for your posts on the honor system...you'd have all the smokes and beer you want! :-)

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Stilli you have been SO KIND TO ME!!!! No kidding. If I had money, I would pay people a dollar to read me. HA

Again, thank you so much for your help and support.
I was on the phone for more than an hour with SeaShell. She 'got into' my computer from Florida.
I HAVE SOUND.

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Yay!!!!!! Seriously, Arthur...there is just no way your talent COULDN'T earn you a livelihood. I just don't know how you would go about it...someone here MUST!

HELP! Suggestions, anyone???

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Honestly, stilli, I wouldn't want to put that pressure on dd. He's got a lot on his plate. If something like that happens along, fine. But this way he has all the fun and no stress!

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I know, Thera, he's just made comments along the way about wishing his circumstances were better...just trying to be helpful, or supportive, or something like that there...

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I wasn't chastising you in any way. As a matter of fact, long ago I did email someone who is a writing coach with dd's blog link and his email (with his permission) in case she had some advice. Publishing isn't always that easy. (I've done what I could - as I say, long ago.)

I see where you're coming from. But the joy of posting here is posting out of love, out of spontaneity, without any deadlines or without an editor.

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I shudder to think what Rumsy will do to that 'aristocrat boy' when he gets his hands on him. It's been a while since I read of Julio's or Sulla's life and times. This is a fun twist DD.

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Thank you Miguel. The real story--as it develops through Mr. Peabody--is so much fun. I can get back to some good comedy. It just took me two chapters to set it up.

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I eagerly anticipate the next installment. *my Sherman to your Mr. Peabody*

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I always root for the underboy. And, every dog should have his boy.

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Hi SI, one thing Dick could and should think about is setting up his own blog, crossposting here much like Dagblog and the Hive, and have a tipjar. It's a pretty common business model, as far as I can tell. I regularly read an ex bond trader who is really useful with an inside look at the bond markets. He eventually put up a tip jar because the blog wasn't profitable (for a bond trader). He's now getting a steady income from regular readers like me. Likewise during the Bush days I used to read a raving lunatic called the rude pundit (his writing being, well, cathartic) and he had a tipjar to supplement his other sources of income. It seemed to work quite well. Of course, Dick being a raving communist, he may balk at such an idea...
;0)

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Co-Sign.

Dick, listen to the Pug. He's talking good cent$.

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Obey, I rave less on communism lately. My anger has been quelled by people like you and with the hopes and dreams inspired by the New Administration.

I used to be either depressed or angry. Believe me, angry was better. hahahahaa

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So, what do you think of the IDEA?

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What a fabulous idea! As long as he promised to post "almost" everything here, then we could run over there to tip! LOVE it! Hear that, Arthur? Beer money!!! And smokes!!!

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Stilli. I aint never leavin here. No way, no how. You and my other friends give me such confidence. And not the confidence of chief inspector Clouseau.
ha

If I was publishing, I would still have to play here. This is like an advanced college course. You get to read the good, the bad and the ugly.

You get feedback from people WHO KNOW HOW TO READ AND WRITE. And you do not have to get feedback in fifteen minutes or see your post evaporate.

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Pugsley isn't suggesting that you LEAVE here (he'd NEVER do that!!!)...just cross-post from your own blog, like O and Genghis and Deanie do...But at your own blog you could set up a tip jar and make beer/smokes money in addition to regaling us with your stories...It is SOOOOOO worth a try, Arthur...best of BOTH worlds!

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Like SI says, it's CROSS-posting. All the cool kids are doing it, man...

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I will look into it. And I appreciate your thoughts and Iwill ask for your help.

Right now I am floating with all this ego boosting and learning a new computer.

By the way. THIS IS GREAT, A GREAT PC

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Great. So glad that computer is working out. 'Wireless keyboard' - sounds cool whatever it is. LOL!

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I think you should just keep writing these stories here as you see fit Dick. Who knows, maybe someone will come along and offer to publish them. You could self publish on the net. But I suspect if you try to organize them for publication it might take some of the spontaneity and joy out of writing and reading them.

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I am having a ball Mark. And I get feedback from friends every day!!! Your point is reflected in Jesse's blog today on religion.

He talks about a religion based on the 'now'. I know you have a real life, but check his blog out.

Because it reflects my feelings right now.

And right now, your comment is like a small bit of Amphetimine that strengthens my heart along with comments from my other friends.

It is all gooooood.

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OK, I admit it; I adore what you write. As Doris Lessing advises, personalized for you: "Move from sympathy to sympathy (in reading and writing;" if you were taught that you must 'finish' something before you move you were poorly taught...."
DD, life is so short ---- pursue whatever your muse suggests.
No matter what, we all benefit. (If I were cool, I would know what text symbol to put here) .. it's either -;) or -:O, or.... just love you.

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I love you too Belle. I miss you. I hope you are feeling better, more springy HEY.

You are one of my muses Belle. I get excited just before I push the 'submit' bar. ha

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Thanks DD,
I was flyin around little bee me,scoring pollen on the web when I saw this extraordinary flower crooning.Investigate I did,and stayed there and hid, and the crooner said, "so speak up shybee"
So one day my voice I bid, spoke up I spoke out yes I did. I sang, "yADA YAdA YADa this and that a lotta, surely we should oughtta, YadA YaDa yadA"
Now thankful I go day by day, to the crooner to hear what next he will say. (Snap!..Gulp!)
FEED ME!
It was your extraordinary writing and the voice behind it that caught my attention and kept me here
I am grateful.

And dont call me sappy!

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DonDi, my goodness. What an upper you are. No kidding. Hey if this is sappy, I will bathe more often in maple syrup. ha

yadayadayadayadayadayada dadadadada HA!!!

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Dick - love this stuff. Hope there's going to be a sequel. It's funny, I just finished my Rome season 2 today and was whining about why they killed off the series. And then you pop up with This! Makes me want to dive back into all the Ancient stuff I gobbled up years ago...

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This is a great story as I noted above and I wanted to do this for decades.

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Nicely done, DD. Rec'ed, of course.

Are you slowly working your way backwards to Gilgamesh?

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No Grouch. I will get back to Arthur shortly.

I wanted to see how this went and I am thrilled and I have not even gotten to the good parts yet.

I have a classics minor and I did love Caesar.

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DD, you are a man after my own heart

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Yes, yes yes Saladin. I think that is where I started to think about Caesar and the Pirates again.
Yes. It was your blog. How about that?

My memory fades.

Thank you for that.ha

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Ahh, that 'splains it.

Just a few classes, after four years of ecclesiastical Latin in HS. (Jesuits)

Art major here - I wanted to do something useless.

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Three years high school Latin. two college. and a minor in classics. I was prepared for nothing so I went to law school.

I was always better at nothing. ha

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Enjoyed it!

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Hey WW, Thanks. Thanks for droppin in.

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Can we have a Roman Shiteface?

And some turnips.

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Q, BC would better bear the moniker of Shiteface, but he really is more of a shiteface that the knighted Quinn. ha

I must think of turnips. And perhaps sea bass gone amuck so to speak.

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Hmmm. I'm afraid my retirement will bring no booty, either.

They broke you when they made the mold, DD. Great read.

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Thanks Meanie. Actually, they broke the mold then made me then threw the broken mold away. ha

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I question I dare ask only of one as erudite as yourself: what is Latin for "foundered"?

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Gaudeo te illud de me rogavisse


Ok Meany. Look, founded would be something along the lines of:

Institutem habeo---But

Veni, Vidi, _____________?

I think you mean floundered

In Errata sum? (I am in error)

Erravi perniciose (I did commit a fatal error)

In rivo fimi senie remo sum (I am up a creek without a paddle)

My declensions and tenses fail. But I bet it would be something like

Veni, Vici, Errati

I must ponder this.

You have me thinking. Dangerous

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Actually, I did mean "floundered." But the other has some interesting implications.

Truly you are a man of letters, DD. Lots and lots of them. ;)

In scriptus sancti. (Or something like that. My last Latin mass was before the aquaducts.) This I know better:

Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead.

In other words, write on, my brother.

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Day, it's 5am and I got sleepers in m' eyes. Thankfully I have Murranicus to translate.

You are brilliant, you know...

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Steve, Lingua Latina before dawn. A man after my own heart. You know I was thinkin that there are worse things than someone doing an entire blog attacking your blog. ha

Add up all the comments and it really looks like you got the blood flowin. I mean its better than being ignored.

As always, thanks for dropping buy and strengthening my ego.

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"I was called out, therefore I am."

We all missed you...

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dickday

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