
In order to decide whether or not you are part of a
community, part of a culture, part of a nation; you must examine your values. I
mean if all those around you worship something that you despise, you are the
odd man out.
I have decided that I am not a very good American. It has to
do with my likes and dislikes. So I figure it is a genetic disorder. I must
admit all my disagreements with American Culture. Supposedly, if we first admit
our faults we may have an opportunity to take more steps in the healing process
and I might become a good American after all.
GRACE KELLY
I despised Grace Kelly (Her Serene Highness The Princess of
Monaco") when I was ten. Do you realize that The American Film Institute ranked her #13
amongst the Greatest Female Stars of All Time?
I would have no problems at all rating her one of the
thirteen worst actresses I have ever seen on the screen. Her affectations in
speech and in her walk did nothing for a young boy or an old slob like me.
Phony, phony, phony. She died drunk driving an automobile.
She had grown up as the daughter of a millionaire in Philly, went to the
finest schools while living in the finest neighborhoods. She did not apply
herself in school and got theatrical parts due to the American love for
Cinderella. And she was one of those two faced traitors who chose 'duel
citizenship' when our country absolutely bans such things.
I remember watching High Noon and thinking...this is the
dumbest movie I ever saw.
HIGH NOON
Plot: This stupid film is supposed to be number 27 on the
'all time list'. I mean, we are supposed to believe that a little 22 year old
aristocratic cream puff just falls in love with a 51 year old alcoholic in some
dirt town in what is supposed to become New Mexico.
Just after the wedding, we find out that,
them liberal and corrupt politicians up north let loose some killer the
sheriff had brung down a few years earlier.
And one by one the local citizens demur as Cooper begs for a
posse to stop black bart or whatever the frick he is from comin to destroy the
town. I have to admit that the last demurer gives the all time dumbest line
ever given in a western; a line that would be repeated in thousands of films
and TV Westerns:
But I have a wife and
children Sheriff.
As if only gay caballeros can ever take up the challenge to
rid this earth of Black Barts.
Even his own deputy demurs and sits in a bar getting drunk
all day. Lloyd Bridges (whom I have always idolized) plays the spiteful coward
who had somehow inherited Cooper's old lady friend. He is mad because he does
not get to be the new sheriff in town after Cooper leaves. The showdown between
Cooper and Black Bart's men is so badly shot that it DEFIES credulity. I mean the film does not
flow,
Rather, it continues in fits and starts, badly
choreographed. And the stunt man for Cooper performs feats that no 51 year old
alcoholic could achieve.
Needless to say, I never liked Cooper either. His aw shucks
persona just pisses me off. I must admit, having sat through the film recently,
it was fun to see actors like Elam who
would go on to appear in some of the greatest westerns ever made, like Once
Upon a Time in The West.
JULIA ROBERTS
I just got through watching buttlips (the first buttlips
that I can remember) in the Pelican Brief. Her feigning of fear and such is
sooooooooooooooo aggravating; I suddenly remembered why I could never sit
through the damn movie. I just cannot stand looking at this pretense of thespianism.
I have never hit a woman or a child in my life, but I swear
to god almighty (blesses himself) I have the strongest urge to just slap her
silly in this film if only to wake her up and challenge her affectations.
Just take a minute and think of someone like Susan Sarandon.
She would not stand for some director telling her to curl up her 90 lb body in
some chair wearing some oversized undershirt panting and sobbing and such.
The plot is terrible anyway. I mean I could see the
conservative oligarchy plotting to kill some liberal Supreme Court Justices in
order to solidify the fascist America in which we now reside, but one
billionaire oil guy would never do this alone.
I mean I like pelicans and all, but we are facing the economic
torture of millions of Americans everyday due to the fascists who sit on our
present court together with our fascist legislators. Instead of pelicans, why not choose asthmatic
children as the victims of fascism; those who die in Emergency rooms all over
this country every year.
JOHN WAYNE
I hate John Wayne and I do not think I need to lay out my
reasons here. He was a bad actor, a bad husband, a bad father and a bad fascist
repub.
JIMMY STEWART
I hate Jimmy Stewart. I mean I hate Rear Window, It's a
Wonderful Life, and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.
I despise all his films except for Harvey.
Psychosis is charming to me in a way which may explain my unamericanism.
In the fifties he would wear a rug that I would not put on
my dog and in his fifties he always had some 22 year old like Novak or Kelly fawning over him.
And compare his movies and his 'acting ability' to someone
like Henry Fonda. Come on!!!!
He was a life long repub and fascist.
BOB HOPE
I hate Bob Hope. I hate Bob Hope's movies. Can you imagine,
the idiot could not understand why he never received an Oscar nomination?
Patty cake patty cake baker's man. Fine, five year olds might enjoy Hope/Crosby
slap stick.
Oh I know, he would take half naked girls overseas and
'celebrate' our troops. But I just know he did it for the money. He died a
billionaire when a billion dollars was a lot of money.
RONALD REAGAN
Bedtime for Bonzo. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwIOEN6XamA
Do not even get me started. I hope he and Wayne are stuck in
some hell hole in hell; forced to watch their own movies.
So there you have it. Oh I idolized and still do idolize Douglas Fairbanks & Son, the
Barrymores, Henry Fonda, Errol Flynn, Carol Lumbard, Cary Grant (30's & 40's anyway),
along with hundreds of others on the so called 'Silver Screen'. But I was taught somewhere or other that if
you can't stand Grace Kelly, Gary Cooper, Julia Roberts, John Wayne, Jimmy
Stewart, Bob Hope or Ronald Rayguns....well you just aint a real American.
p.s.: I am out of
sorts and cigs for twelve more hours, so please forgive my callousness today. And I pick a day where I will stay up 25 instead of 24 hours. Go figure.