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A Christmas Ditty: Dig, Rudolf, Dig
A Merry Christmas Song
We've got GM and Yukos
and Mital and Eskom,
ConEd and Huaneng
Monsanto and Exxon
But do you recall
The most famous polluter of all?
Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer
Had a carbon-emitting nose
Combined with flatulent emissions
You would even say we're hosed
All of the other reindeer
Counted up his carbon footprint
They found his annual output
Was roughly between cars and cement
Then one snowy Christmas Eve
Sarah Palin came to say,
"Rudolf with your nose so big
Melt some permafrost so I can dig"
How Exxon and Chevron loved him
As they bored into the shelf with ease
Sorry abut that pink slip
Some reindeers' hard to please
Merry Christmas to All
And to All a $700 billion bailout
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You are nuts.
But I like nuts
December 24, 2008 5:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
And happy holidays to my favorite mushroom cloud :)
December 24, 2008 9:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Very, very good!
December 24, 2008 10:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
Did you just attempt to rhyme "footprint" and "cement?"
Fascinating. I get to watch the English language mutate and struggle to evolve, right before my eyes. Not in a positive direction, mind you, and with luck, Nature will catch this little mutation before it reproduces, and "select" it, repeatedly, on a rock, like Old Timey laundry gettin' warshed, but still, fascinating.
As for this post, it reads to me like another pig-ignorant, irrational, fact-free, far left, embittered, Bucket-O-Bile that I've come to expect from YOUR corner of the cell.
And don't think I didn't notice the little ad hom on Rudolph. Hater.
However. The Warden says if you stay on YOUR half, and stop with the singing, and I say Merry Christmas, then we get a toilet and a new roll of TPM paper.
So.... Mumble mumble.... THERE, I said it, alright? Back on your half.
December 24, 2008 11:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
You know, come to think of it, there is an awful lot of eliding going on here too.
When Quinn the Eskimo gets ya
everybody's gonna wanna doze
WHAT
Merry Xmas, Happy New Year
December 24, 2008 12:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bastids 's tauntin' me 'gin.... Pig ignrunt my assss.... Miguelito jes wans to be left 'lone... have a merry chrustmas, no. yes. Cement overshoes? Hmmm? nuthin' too drastic... take deep breath....
December 24, 2008 2:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'll take pig iron instead. Hell, I'll take Pigs in Zen. Even War Pigs. Don't fuck with a pissed off porker. Happy Nude Year, frum Awed of Us.
December 24, 2008 3:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Back at you Dog.
December 24, 2008 3:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Even retro dog. Bang a Gong.
December 25, 2008 7:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
And if you're bored on New Years....here's a play by play
December 25, 2008 8:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
Technically "footprint" and "cement" *DO* rhyme if you're speaking real American English, at least the Southern version.
Anyway, can you toss me that 5-week old paper when you're finished with it? I wanna find out who won the election. Warden's a nice guy, ain't he? This squattin's fer the birds.
December 24, 2008 3:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, I well recall my first day in the new school - having moved from upstate NY to Fla. Someone asked me if they could borrow a "pin?" PIN? As in "ce..mint" I guess.
And that reminds me of being 5 years old. A Puerto Rican family had moved in across the street. I met the little boy - just my age. Asked him his name. He says: "Enrique." I repeat, "Enrique?" He says: "Si!"
We went through this several times. He, telling me to "see" and me not knowing what he meant! I kept looking. He kept saying "Si."
Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noel! Froeliche Weinacht!
December 24, 2008 3:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wow, Great Orange Satan, you hate Rudy the Reindeer? Oh noes! I bet that was you in front w/gun but you photoshopped yourself out and blamed poor Sarah Palin, didntchya?
December 24, 2008 5:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
You can read my mind, O Great Puss. But the moment Santa forgets your bowl of milk, we'll see who's hateful, eh?
December 25, 2008 8:58 AM | Reply | Permalink