Relationships...political and otherwise
Just thought I would start of with a little ditty.
Humans are social animals. We may even enjoy being around others,
though generally we prefer to be around others who are like ourselves.
We also detest being emotionally and mentally uncomfortable. We will
even be willing to be physically uncomfortable to avoid emotional
discomfort. Most of our relationships are based on this. Be they personal
or community. We pick those we choose to be with based on whether
they share the same beliefs - culture, social, educational, economic, age
and (sometimes) even gender based philosophies with us. I purposely
left out race since I do not feel that race - by itself - does not have as much
to do with it as the others issues I mentioned.
We even pick our mates based to a large extent on these very same
issues. Does he/she share my beliefs, are they around my age, from
my cultural background, economic background. Etc.
Where we live, where we work, eat, play, go to school etc. We prefer
to be with those people where we feel the most comfortable. Our egos
and self image demand it.
When we are in a situation with other people that are not from our
world, we feel out of place. Awkward. We don't know how to behave,
what to say, what to ware. If we come from some middle class area
in Indiana and find ourselves amongst the rich, ivy school educated
in New York we would not know what to do. We may be familiar with
Hamlet from High School but probably not Chaucer. Beethoven but
not Mussorgsky. Picasso but not Jackson Pollack.
So we congregate amongst our fellows. Even on the web. One would
think that our technological advances in communication and
transportation would makes us a more homogeneous society. But
quite the opposite appears to be happening. Simply because it has
become a lot easier to find and be with those who we find more
accepting of us and us of them.
And this goes with our political preferences as well. Maybe even more
so since we can now find those who are even closer to our beliefs
and attitudes than before.
And if we are thrust into a situation where we are out of place, be it
economic, cultural or what ever - we will go to great lengths to fit
in so as not to be ridiculed or rejected. When in Rome...do as the
Romans do.
And to help bolster our egos and self esteem, we will ridicule and
humiliate those who are not part of our group. Simply because they
are not part of our group. What ever group it maybe. We are always
right and they are always wrong.
Now you may expect me to say something profoundly obvious like
humanity needs to change. But changes of this type generally take
many generations and many, many years to come. They cannot
be forced or legislated into existence.
One needs only to remember what happened to the former
Yugoslavia and the Balkans after the Soviet Union collapsed
to see that this is true.
But taken to extremes. This separation of groups can lead to some
very disastrous out comes - wars and genocide. Agreeing to
disagree does not come easy.
C
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I prefer to live in societies which only dimly perceive what I am attempting to communicate, as a result of a language barrier. If we agree that cerveza tastes good, we're ahead of the curve.
October 3, 2009 9:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
Humor unites. Humor and honesty which are kind of the same thing.
Good post.
October 4, 2009 2:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
The Germans have a neat word--probably not in the dictionary. "Jaein" -- ja-yes, nein- no.
It applies for me in this, and whether it is more ja or more nein seems to depend on forces I don't know. The safer I feel, the more I would disagree with the general theory. When I'm feeling safe, I find people like me rather boring--comfortable, but boring. If they were exactly like me I'd be bored to death. One of me is all I need or can stand.
As I get older and as I'm in reasonable financial shape. I crave difference more and more. I also want my own differences accepted. I'm naturally curious and new experiences keep me alive.
If I'm at all typical, what we all need to do is work to make all of us feel safe enough to enjoy the differences, and broaden the range of differences we enjoy.
I should say I feel very safe with you, C, which is why I enjoy your blog and I enjoy the occasional tilt with you. I suspect you know the folks at TPM who don't fit in that category with me.
p.s. I should also say I love that Lehrer song, along with a lot of others. I wish he didn't snark everything sometimes. But that was his job back then, I guess.
October 4, 2009 8:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks Amike. I post what I post to get people to think a bit. Not to necessarily get mutual pats on the back.
I would not expect you (or anyone else for that matter) to agree with me on this and yes the safer one feels - the more comfortable one is with ones self - the more they are willing to take emotional risks with other people. And of course the converse is also true.
C
October 4, 2009 9:19 AM | Reply | Permalink