Okay, after having watched this mob assemble and tear apart website after website in real-time, I have come to the conclusion that a there has been a mass outbreak of a terrible disease. A disease that has turned people to demons and corpses. I am speaking, of course, of the infamous Hinamizawa Syndrome. But not just any strain. No, I have termed this strain the Type-ABC Hinamizawa Syndrome after doing extensive investigations on both the disease itself and the event that has caused the recent outbreak.

Now, my dear delusional patients, to understand the horror that has conquered your minds, I must first explain to you its origins. Hinamizawa Syndrome was first discovered during World War II, when soldiers invading the Shishibone region of Japan would begin to act deranged and psychotic, even attacking their comrades. Over time, the disease had been kept a secret by the Japanese government until someone from that prefecture made a fortuitous journey to... RUSSIA. Needless to say, when the first deranged patients started popping up there, a country with nuclear weapons, the Japanese could keep it a secret no longer and allowed the other G-7 (and eventually G-8) countries know about the danger that was spreading throughout their borders. The governments worked rapidly to try to contain the people without scaring the populi by keeping it a secret, but to no avail.

Most people infected with Hinamizawa syndrome would never know it until a stress of great enough magnitude sets the symptoms off. It was thought that nothing short of torture (which was plentiful in Russia, of course) could set it off, and thus the populi could remain safe. Until ABC issued the one thing even more stressful than torture to a mass audience: a god-awful presidential debate.

There are five stages to Type-ABC Hinamizawa syndrome.

Level 1: A mild sense of forboding whenever the words "Obama," "Clinton," "bitter," "Reverend," "right," "Gibson," "Stephanopopopopo..." (needless to say, there's little to worry about with this one), "Bosnia," and "-gate" are mentioned.

Level 2 : A sudden aversion to anything having to do with network news or the latin alphabet. Sudden fixations on the hidden meanings of flags in various conspicuous locales at this point is also common.

Level 3: A sense that someone is constantly following you. You may even hear the words, "And from all of us at ABC News, I hope you have a good night" repeated over and over again, following you wherever  you go.

Level 4: At this stage, full-on paranoia tends to occur, usually upon the discovery that you can't figure out how to spell your own last name. The voice that was following you before becomes louder and more persistant, now asking an explanation for why you haven't denounced and rejected your co-worker yet after you watched him stick his ABC (oh no!) gum under the table and other such nonsense.

Level 5: The fatal stage. This usually results in a full-on psychotic break from reality. The subject usually smashes any glass screen in sight, televisions in particular, and murders anyone who so much as mentions politics. Eventually, you become convinced that George Stephanopoulos has been using your vocal cords the entire time and the cause of death is usually managing to scratch out one's own throat.

I fear that a mass-detonation of this disease has occurred, and so I must ask anyone who has seen the recent Philly debates to please lie down so I can give you a dose of C103. Don't worry, I am indeed a trained physician. Pay no attention to the crayon on my diploma.

(To anyone who would wish to learn more about the horrendous disease you are suffering from, I urge you to go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higurashi_no_Naku_Koro_ni)

I was cracking up the entire time I was reading this! http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2008/04/one_debate_wiz_wit.cfm
Sorry - this is short, but I just really wanted people to get some good laughs out of this.

So, is anyone else a little bored with the candidates pounding away at each other? I keep reading them to see what's going on and check my debating skills, but at least on the second point, I think there's a more interesting way, and so I now open up the floor to comments on the subject of nuclear power. There is only one rule: No presidential candidates (Dem or Repub) may be mentioned. I'll keep from giving my own opinion in the beginning to allow for people of all different opinions to comment, but it will probably come out in the end. With that, let's begin!

I'm a Pennsylvanian. My primary is next week. Absentee ballots are due this week. And I sit here in my dorm with no ballot. Not for lack of trying to get it, mind you.

First, let me make myself clear - I really want to vote in this primary. I lobbied my dad until the last minute to get him to switch parties (the deadline for switching was a month ago) to vote for a Democratic candidate. I'm an Obama supporter (and I knew he was leaning that way too, although I would have pressured him even if he was a Clinton supporter), and so I want to make sure that I help Obama get as close to Senator Clinton as possible, and I know that he needs as many votes as he can get to do that.

I called my county voter services office two weeks ago and was told to wait until the end of last week, and if I still hadn't gotten it, to call back again. So I was a good girl. I waited patiently, like I was told to. Last Friday rolled around, and I still had no ballot. So, I called again.

They didn't even check the system to see if my information was okay. They just told me to call back on Monday, and as a cherry on top of the sundae, told me if worse comes to worse, I could always come vote there. HELLO????? Forgive me, but I always thought that the point of an absentee ballot was that you can't make it to vote that day. Am I missing anything there?

Anyway, Monday came without my ballot. Again. And so I called. Again. But this time, I had a secret weapon. I was pissed off about the whole situation, and so I vented to a friend of mine jokingly about suing for voter-suppression. Then he told me (seriously) to get the ACLU to do it for me so I didn't have to pay and gave me a microphone to record the call in case they pulled a stupid line like that one again.

Wow. I didn't know I had friends who knew how to manipulate the legal system so well. Anyway, I figured what the heck and recorded the message. Thankfully, there wasn't anything remotely sue-worthy this time. They did check the system and said my ballot was just sent out. I still need to get it in by Friday, but they told me I could over-night it if worse came to worse. Maybe the  person I talked to on Friday just had a bad day.

Don't get me wrong - I love my county, even if there are 1.7 Republicans to every Democrat (I kid you not, that's an actual statistic. Another fun fact: they haven't been represented by a Democrat in the state senate since the 1890s. The Great Depression didn't shake them! But last year did! ^_~). It's just that the same characteristics that gave them the foresight to stick with paper ballots leads to incredibly lousy service on the phone.

In the end, it's probably a good thing I won't need to sue. God knows how slowly the trial would have to go for them to get their evidence in order.