Not to be outdone by Obama and his "sympathy vote ploy," Sarah Palin has announced that she will be taking 3 days off from the campaign trail to visit the ailing McCain.

"This blatant pandering to the elderly, especially those great pro-American Joe-six pack grandmothers and fathers of the Jew persuasion living in Florida, is really blatant and pandering. And they're not going to fall for this sympathy vote ploy," Governor Palin told reporters before announcing that she would be "suspending" her campaign to visit her "gravely ill friend and very close person" John McCain.

"While I would love to continue visiting the pro-American parts of our this great country, it is necessary for me to take these few days off to see John while he's recuperating in a Jewish home for the aging in Florida," Governor Palin continued before asking if there were any questions, winking, and immediately leaving the press room. Reporters were then given 45 seconds to question the eight doctors who will be attending to John McCain in Florida. Unfortunately it took nearly a minute for the physicians to assemble on the platform, and once they did an aide signaled that time had already elapsed.

The McCain campaign released a statement shortly after:

This stopover simply reaffirms what real Americans already know: John McCain is an expert in health care. John McCain has spent more time within the health care system in the last 20 years than Barack Obama and Joe Biden have throughout there combined lifetimes. John McCain has seen more doctors than the average 10 Americans. John McCain's copious medical records are a testament to his health care know-how. And John McCain is not endorsed by Hamas.

George Will: "Obama gets two votes because he's black for every one he loses because he's black."

McCain gets 3 votes because he's really old and decaying for every one he loses because he's old and decaying.

Palin gets 5.5 votes because she's inexperienced for every one she loses.

Kerry got 2.3 votes for looking French for every one he lost.

Gore got 4.25 votes for being portrayed as a stiff by the mainstream media for every one he lost.

Obama gets 1.5 votes because his middle name is Hussein for every one he loses.

McCain gets 2.7 votes for acting like an asshole at the debates for every one he loses.

Palin gets 6 votes for coming across as an idiot in her two real interviews for every one she losess.

The list goes on, and on...feel free to add your own.