10) $10, Yale. (How does that damn alumni association keep finding him????)
9) $30 to Heckuva Job Foundation, devoted to trying to find jobs for Bush appointees with no skills.
8) $12.75, Girl Scouts. (You can write the Thin Mints off, right?)
7) $35 to group hoping to salvage wreckage of Oceanic Flight 815
6) $100 to the Texas Rangers, who are like a charity at this point
5) 50 cents Jenna gave to saxophonist in DC Metro
4) $25 to the Barbara Bush Foundation, dedicated to helping resettle Katrina victims who have been overwhelmed by the hospitality of Texas.
3) $50 to George W. Bush Presidential Library, in exchange for political favors
2) $100 to that poor Nigerian guy that keeps e-mailing him
1) TEN charities? Who do you think he is, Gandhi?
It's a grand total of almost $369, or, in a year in which he made $15 million for "consulting" and "speaking" fees, .000025% of his income. Pretty damn good, if he does say so himself.
]]>10) Under HIV/AIDS Initiative, dedicated $38 million to 3-year program in Kenya ensuring children get AIDS treatment.
9) Brokered agreement with drug companies for discounted AIDS drugs for African countries. Partnered with pharmaceutical companies to reduce the costs of HIV testing for infants in sub-Saharan Africa. Organized 66 countries in a consortium to purchase AIDS drugs and diagnostic equipment at reduced prices.
8) Launched pilot program in Tanzania to make malaria drugs more available in poor regions of Africa. Made drugs available at a 90% cost reduction, provide patients with information on use of and obtaining the drugs, train local pharmacy employees on diagnosing and treating malaria. The hope is to roll out this program all over Africa if it is successful.
7) Under Rural Initiative, launched program to train and deploy doctors who will serve three year fellowships in rural areas of Tanzania, Mozambique, and Rwanda.
6) Formed Clinton Hunter Development Initiative, a 10 year, $100 million program to lift African nations out of poverty. Focus is on encouraging sustainable food sources, building sanitation, and providing clean water.
5) Under CHDI, partnered with Partners in Health to build a hospital in rural area of Malawi. Built sanitation and water supply for hospital and neighboring village. Renovated local hospital in Rwanda, built sanitation and water for them.
4) CHDI helped farmers in Rwanda buy fertilizer at a significantly lowered cost. Their goal is to help farmers gain access to advanced technologies and to improve their chances at trade by, among other things, fixing roads, building storage facilities, investing in plants.
3) Formed $100 million dollar Clinton Giustra Sustainable Growth Initiative to address poverty in Latin America.
2) Formed Clinton Climate Initiative to fight global warming. Announced $5 billion program to help major cities worldwide green their buildings. Organizing major cities into a purchasing group to bargain for lower energy costs.
1) With GHW Bush, formed Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund, which has raised over $150 million for rebuilding New Orleans. Has also fundraised for the Tsunami and the California Wildfires.
There are certainly questions about the transparency of the foundation, and that story in the NYTimes about the Kazakhstan deal was about Giustra of the Latin American initiative. The nexus of favors/donors is a complicated one. I, personally, don't care. When Bill Clinton dies, he will have left the world a far better place—outside of anything that happened in his presidency. Any one of his programs is world-changing, and there are hundreds. So, as Bill Clinton blusters his way through the campaign trail, remember before all of this started he's had a truly incredible ex-presidency. He's using his connections, influence, intelligence, and negotiating skills to do real, profound good.
So, let's finish up this campaign so he can go back to doing it.
]]>10) One thing I'm really struck by, Hillary, is how closely your agenda mirrors that of another great American, John Edwards.
9) A real measure for success in Pennsylvania would be winning by one or two points.
8) The thing I am most struck by is how little my endorsement really matters.
7) Wouldn't it be great if we had an election between two people who really loved their country and we could really talk about the issues instead of all this other stuff that intrudes?
6) You can always judge the health of a democracy by how much value it gives to the voice of the credentials committee.
5) Really, I don't think Obama Girl is that pretty.
4) I think you can tell a lot about a man by the way he bowls.
3) Once I thought I had been under sniperfire, but later the videotape showed it was Pilates class.
2) Thanks for letting me review your tax returns, Hillary. I see there's nothing there that could possibly be of interest to anyone.
1) That skirt makes Nancy Pelosi's butt look big.
]]>
9) Fox News will change its official slogan to WE REPORT…ON HOW AWESOME HILLARY IS.
8) She will reach out her hand to John McCain and say, "Oh, John, you have so much experience!" And John will say, "Oh, Hillary, you have so much experience." And Hillary will say, "Oh, John, you are ready to answer the phone at 3am!" And John will say, "Oh, Hillary, you can answer the phone at FOUR am!" And Hillary will say, "You're right, John, I can."
7) In Bosnia, the eight-year-old-girl will have revealed herself to be a sniper, after all.
6) The African-Americans, the youth vote, anyone who has ever had a latte, the red states, the caucus states will all say, "Oh, Hillary you scamp! We know you didn't mean those things you said about us. We are recognize you needed to marginalize us for the health of your campaign, and we understand you were just trying to save America from the black guy. Have our votes!"
5) Al Qaeda will disband in fear because Hillary is not afraid of phone-answering. They will don flag pins and hold their hand over their hearts during the national anthem and advocate a flag burning amendment and change all their middle names from 'Hussein' (because it’s a well known fact that every terrorist has the middle name 'Hussein') to 'America!'
4) The 47% of the people who disapproved of her before the nomination process will say, "I see now that my dislike for Hillary was a result of my own personal failings," Liberals will praise how liberal she is, conservatives will see she is truly a conservative after all, and the working man will think, "The only one who can understand me is a Wellesley girl from Connecticut."
3) Bill Richardson will say, "Holy crap! I am Judas!"
2) All the wrongs ever done to womankind will be righted. Every woman above the age of 50 will get a footrub, and every man will turn to his wife and say, "Oh, honey, I'll watch the kids tonight. You rest."
1) Karl Rove will have a religious conversion and devote himself to saving puppies and orphans and digging old soda cans out of people's garbages for recycling. And he'll like it. ]]>
<blockquote>Sir Elton John has a new Candle in the
Wind.
Mr. John, the legendary British pop crooner who memorialized the late Princess Diana by rewriting the lyrics to his song, “Candle in the Wind,” will be holding a “one night only” solo concert on behalf of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s presidential campaign on April 9 at Radio City Music Hall in New York.</blockquote>
As a special tribute to the Senator, Sir Elton has rewritten "Candle in the Wind" yet again. Here is a sneak preview:
CANDLE IN THE WIND 2008
<I>Goodbye Hillary
We don't deserve you
You never lost your integrity
And this campaign isn't through.
Obama's a big Muslim
They'll find something on Rezko
And the road to Pennsylvania Avenue
Goes right through Puerto Rico
It seems to me
You ran your campaign
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to turn to
When the spin set in
And I would have liked to've voted for you
And all your dreams fulfill
But your campaign burned out long before
Your ambition ever will…
You're the President of the people
You'll be a fighter for me
Because I gave 5 million to
Bill Clinton's library.
You struggle for the working man
Lobbyists are people too
Sometimes the truth is a fugitive
Just like Norman Hsu
[CHORUS]
As First Lady you did so much
But your achievements went untold.
What was it like when you crossed
The Commander-in-Chief threshold?
You forged Ireland's peace treaty
Into warzones you'll boldly go
As President you can still take
Sinbad and Sheryl Crow
[CHORUS]
The system's stacked against you
Who knew Texas had a caucus?
The media's biased against you
Even George Stephanopoulos
You're the candidate of experience
Until you face McCain
Then experience will count for nothing
Because you'll represent change.
It seems to me
You ran your campaign
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to turn to
When the spin set in
And I would have liked to've voted for you
And all your dreams fulfill
But your campaign burned out long before
Your ambition ever will…
Goodbye Hillary
From an admiring Brit
I sure know about celebrity
If not American politics…</i>
]]>10. That's not 'Change we can believe in,' it's 'Change we can mimeograph!'
9. Everyone says Barack is a Mac, and, sure Macintosh computers are neat, but when you really want to get something done you use an IBM-compatible.
8. We need solutions, not slogans; and I am in the solutions business!(TM)
7. Shame on you, Barack Obama, with your great speeches and your huge rallies and your record-breaking small individual donations and your vastly superior ground game and your getting more votes than me. Shame on you!
6. Your fancy speeches are distracting America from the real issue...which is how America can make me President.
]]> 5. Sure, that Will.I.Am video was okay, but you know what time it is? IT'S HILLA TIME! Gets on table, rips off skirt to reveal parachute pants, begins to dance. DO, DOO DO DOOT. DOO DOOT. DOO DOOT. CAN'T TOUCH THIS! (Whispers to self "Aw ya, come home to mama, black vote.")4. John Edwards is a great American, a hero to us all...and one sexy son of a bitch.
3. I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
2. Enough, Barack Obama. Democrats do not attack each other on universal health care. ...They attack each other on trumped-up plagiarism charges.
1. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
]]>