10) All the 529s will disband. Swift Boat Veterans will say, "We've looked and looked, but there's nothing there!"

 

9) Fox News will change its official slogan to WE REPORT…ON HOW AWESOME HILLARY IS.

 

8) She will reach out her hand to John McCain and say, "Oh, John, you have so much experience!" And John will say, "Oh, Hillary, you have so much experience." And Hillary will say, "Oh, John, you are ready to answer the phone at 3am!" And John will say, "Oh, Hillary, you can answer the phone at FOUR am!" And Hillary will say, "You're right, John, I can."

 

7) In Bosnia, the eight-year-old-girl will have revealed herself to be a sniper, after all.

 

6) The African-Americans, the youth vote, anyone who has ever had a latte, the red states, the caucus states will all say, "Oh, Hillary you scamp! We know you didn't mean those things you said about us. We are recognize you needed to marginalize us for the health of your campaign, and we understand you were just trying to save America from the black guy. Have our votes!"

 

5) Al Qaeda will disband in fear because Hillary is not afraid of phone-answering. They will don flag pins and hold their hand over their hearts during the national anthem and advocate a flag burning amendment and change all their middle names from 'Hussein' (because it’s a well known fact that every terrorist has the middle name 'Hussein') to 'America!'

 

4)  The 47% of the people who disapproved of her before the nomination process will say, "I see now that my dislike for Hillary was a result of my own personal failings," Liberals will praise how liberal she is, conservatives will see she is truly a conservative after all, and the working man will think, "The only one who can understand me is a Wellesley girl from Connecticut."

 

3) Bill Richardson will say, "Holy crap! I am Judas!"

 

2) All the wrongs ever done to womankind will be righted. Every woman above the age of 50 will get a footrub, and every man will turn to his wife and say, "Oh, honey, I'll watch the kids tonight. You rest."

 

1) Karl Rove will have a religious conversion and devote himself to saving puppies and orphans and digging old soda cans out of people's garbages for recycling. And he'll like it.