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TPM is bad for me...But...


I'm addicted.  Fortunately, my other great addiction, my work, resumes next week and that will help me break the hold of this one.  How do I know I'm addicted?  The same way one recognizes other addictions...the diminishing sense of elation and reward during the experience, the increased craving for the reward and the resulting crabbiness and unease of spirit which comes when that reward is withheld.

I know how to increase the reward-by being less myself-which is also what an addiction does to a person.  I surprised myself by using words like fuckit and shit in posts or comments recently.  I stopped doing that when I was a teenager and the sign in locker room read that vulgar speech was the sign of a weak vocabulary.  

So I learned how to slash and parry with verbal elegance.  I'm reminded of the story of the Samurai warrior who took a swing at his opponent.  "Ha ha, you missed," said the villain of the piece.  "Oh yes?" said the warrior, "Try shaking your head."  I knew how to snark before the term meant anything other than something one hunted with Lewis Carroll.  I knew how to belittle people, how to make them feel insignificant, and to draw other people into heaping contempt on them.  I knew how to do that when I was editor of my college newspaper, and I was expert at it.  

I stopped doing that when I learned about rhetorical crimes like argumentum ad hominem, and my learning was reinforced by acknowledging I was winning verbal arguments and losing the campaigns I was trying to support with them.  Yet I find myself tempted to revert to habits I dumped 46 years ago.  I get a glow of satisfaction when I exercise those old skills, and a reddening of complexion when I realize once again I've betrayed the true self I've been trying to build over my adult life.

So TPM is becoming bad for me.  I started following TPM years ago.  I responded to Josh's first appeal for a cash contribution.  I found congenial company here-names which have disappeared off the blog rolls a long time ago,  and names which are still around. I have deep affection for many of them...if I make a list, I'm afraid I'll leave a name or two off.  My "following list" gives a sampling , though it is incomplete:

# leftyloosey / leftyloosey
# miguelitoh2o / miguelitoh2o
# roo_P / Karl the Marxist
# readytoblowagasket / readytoblowagasket
# tpmgary / tpmgary
# Donal Fagan / Donal
# destor23 / destor23
# MaggieM / Maggie
# billyshake / billyshake
# Steve Katz / steve katz
# Professorbalgus / ProfessorB
# Dan Grant / Doomer252
# mabarich / LavenderLightning
# wwstaebler / wwstaebler
# Aunt Sam / Aunt Sam
# Don Key / Don Key
# stratofrog / stratofrog
# rowanwolf / Rowan Wolf
# stillidealistic / stillidealistic
# satyagraha / MBH
# astral66 / astral66
# Ramona / Ramona
# tlees2 / tlees2
# MzTicketyBoo / MzTicketyBoo
# Obey / Obey
# BevD / BevD
# LisB / LisB
# Saladin / Saladin
# intp / intp
# quinn esq / quinn esq
# artappraiser / artappraiser
# TheraP / TheraP
# Thinking / Thinking
# PseudoCyAnts / PseudoCyAnts
# no one really / Bwakfat
# Carol Gee / Carol Gee
There are others...Aunt Sam, for example.

Thank you all for at one time or another giving me something interesting and worthwhile to think about.  Even in disagreement I became wiser for what you said.

Thank you too, the people who paid me the high honor of following me.

I'm going on TPM Sabbatical-which isn't saying I won't post on the odd occasion, or that I won't read or recommend those I value.  But the kind of things which interest me and the way I approach them don't really fit here under the current atmosphere.  I'm not flexible enough to move as quickly as the tide moves.  It's rather like "I wish I had said..." coming into one's mind two or three conversations after the conversation has become old news.  I'm also too proud to send up something half-baked, and taking four hours to write something which disappears in three hours isn't a reasonable use of my time.  

What I would do if I could is put the real skills I have to the use of the topics under discussion (or which I think should be under discussion).  I'm a historian, and a pretty good one.  I know how to research the internet as well as anyone, I think. I think the historical view-the long view-is of value if only for the context it provides, and I believe in providing documentation for what I assert.  Neither of these is in fashion.  I toss a little John Winthrop out, and someone thinks that means I'm advocating burning witches.  I have to thank DickDay for thinking Cicero is still worth reading.  DickDay is Always worth reading.

So I turn my major attention to the kids in my classes-they pay my salary, so they deserve it in any case.  Best to everyone, and look for my comments if you've a mind to.  If you're on my follower list and there's some way I can be of use, ask in the comments, and if you don't get a quick response then e-mail me at amike401@yahoo.com

And thanks for everything.



After all, Memories are Made of This





47 Comments

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Thanks amike, always been happy to see your words. Don't make us go "cold turkey".

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I did leave myself a little wiggle room. I didn't actually quit smoking until the fourth time I tried. Maybe the temperature will cool in here will cool down a little when the climate out there cools down..aiming for the mid 90s today.

I know for sure you'll see me wandering around in the comments, I read you regularly, and even when I keep my mouth shut I'm nodding and saying well done.

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Until that time Sergeant Slaughter, until that time.

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The words of the prophets are written...on the locker room walls? hahahahah

Somehow you make me tear up a little Professor.

Your students are luckier than they know.

And I know you love what you are doing.

Hey. You have a funny story about a discombobulated student or better yet a drunken colleague...

Take ten and write it down.

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Thanks DD. You always give me an emotional workout, sometimes tears, sometimes storming the barricades, sometimes laughing so hard I scare the cats.

If the kids are lucky, I'm equally lucky. I thank them at the end of the semester for giving me a chance to do what I like, and I think they can tell I'm not going through the motions.

I have stories galore...but I think I'll start with one on myself.

When I took my job I accepted so late that by the time I gave my 30 days notice I arrived on campus literally with the freshmen. The university (then college) promised to find me a place to live--I would have no time to look. So I arrived on Labor Day, and found out that my place was in the dorms. Hey, it wound up free--including meals in the cafeteria.

Scenario: It's dinner, maybe 200-300 students devouring the plat du jour and yours truly among them. I went to the milk machine (milk, another of my addictions) poured myself two glasses and commenced to walk to back to my table. About half way there my heel landed on a lemon slice which had migrated from someone's iced tea to the floor. I sat down precisely like a toddler learning to walk sits down, plop!--legs out in front of me--upright from the waist. Obeying the laws of physics, as my butt went down the arms holding two full glasses of milk went up, leaving me sitting in the middle of the cafeteria floor, holding two empty glasses, and drenched in skim milk from the top of my head downwards.

First--dead silence. The the students broke into applause. What could I do? Stand up and take a bow, of course.

Thanks again for your ever kind words. If I can with anything just let me know.

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taking four hours to write something which disappears in three hours isn't a reasonable use of my time.
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I think this is the biggest problem here not just for the reason you mentioned. Since posts disappear so rapidly it discourages depth. I post some on a newsgroup where each comment moves a post to the top of the list. That has its own flaws but it does give me the opportunity to take as long as I want to compose a response I think valuable enough to share.

Since history is an area of expertise for you I'd like to encourage you to offer some historical perspective in the comments. It wouldn't require the time commitment that your own blog would and I think it would be very valuable. Quite often I remember something from say the Carter years that I think would be a valuable addition to a discussion but its just on the edge of my memory and I don't have time to research it to pull out the memory in all fullness. Or I'll remember something from a book I read on Eisenhower or FDR that I think would add something but its been too long since I read it to articulate it clearly.

If you are as fluent in history as I am in jazz or wild plant identification you could add a lot of value in the comments. Often the discussion is more valuable than the blog that sparked it.

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I agree with you on this. There doesn't seem to be much point in taking the time to construct a thoughtful comment if the whole thing is gone before you finish your first draft. aMike's posts are an excellent example of this. I would have liked a few days to mull over some of his presentations before responding but then it would just be a speech to an empty room.

Actually I think this change was intentional. Under the old regime a post could last for days with a fairly complex dialogue evolving in the comments. However such a format discourages new visitors since they must read a bit to get the context. HuffPo is the more extreme application of this appeal to casual visitors and, well. HuffPo is very successful.

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I agree with you both, Lrry and Oceankat and someplace in the dustbin of prior comments or posts I said something about this. I'm not a techie, and my techie-speak wouldn't fool a real techie for 2 minutes, but it strikes me that there are a couple of easy things which could be done, had TPM the will to do them.

My first idea goes back to my days as newspaper editor in college. Page layout looks at white space as anathema, so it gets filled, period. So why does TPM place the masthead so high and create so many extra inches of whitespace below. The left hand column of the professionals goes on forever: why doesn't the right hand run to the bottom of the page. I can't believe the code would be that difficult to re-write.

Related to that...once a "recent" post receives the plaudit "recommended post" why does to appear both above and below? Don't copy it Move it

Finally, why not provide hit counters? Again this isn't sorcery--more like sourcery. One way of judging whether something is worthwhile writing is to have some idea of how many are reading it, if not precisely whom. And I understand it is possible to count both hits and unique hits as deterined by I.S.P addresses. There may be business reasons why TPM would prefer not to make that information public, but there aren't techical reasons, or so I believe.

These ideas increase the shelf life of reader posts without granting management powers of minipulation or censorship--neither of which do I want them to have.

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Wild plant identification I'm not proficient at--witness the rashes I break out with from time to time. My particular musical loves are anything choral and that includes choral jazz. I like the instrumental stuff too. e-mail me and I'll send you my pandora stations list. :-)

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Sorry you've reached this point, Mike. Although glad you've reached this point in the sense that you're exercising control and you know what is best for you.

There's been a high emotional upswing the last week or so here at TPM. Health care is a very sensitive subject. And watching the lobbyists buy the whole debate, seeing people carrying guns to town halls, it's really heightened that sensitivity.

I don't know if the quality of posts goes up during these times. There are certainly plenty of posts that suspiciously work their way up the recommended list. I don't know if there's as much respect for diverse opinions.

All I know is that everyone has a voice and it seems that everyone is using that voice.

And yours will be missed.

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The thing I worried about is that my voice was going away while I was hanging around. I have to write from within myself if the amike you see is the amike you get. So if I find my self coarsening myself to compete, or out of pique, or for whatever reason, or if I choose my topic by the flavor of the day it's time to put the brakes on.

TPM is, as far as I know, unique in that it provides an umbrella for reader's blogs and a mechanism by which we can cross-pollinate each other. The current model must be a coupe of years old now. It needs revisiting and tweaking so that there is room for my kind of post and the kind of post with which it competes for membership attention.

Anyhow, I'm not going very far, and I expect you'll see my name in the comments section on your blog more often than not. I like reading it and the experience gives me something to keep my brain active.

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*hugs the 7 foot Santa Claus*

amike, I wish you a good new year with your students. I hope they know how lucky they are to have you as their professor.

See you in your comments!

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The luck runs both ways, LisB. I know what people want to hear when they ask me what I teach, so I answer with my disciplines, American Studies and History. But what I'd really like to do is to morph what into who and respond I teach students. It's much more fun to teach people than to teach stuff. Students are funny, questing, eager, aiming for a sophistication jusst beyond their reach, and strangely fragile and vulnerable. Who wouldn't find working with such a crew jolly good fun?

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Thanks for the kind words, aMike. See you when you return. Teach well, think well, live well!

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I've enjoyed your writing from day one, Destor. And I've loved your choices of avatar almost as much. You'll have to write about them sometime. :-)

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Oh Noes!

Say it ain't so Ameke. You are one of my favorites and I really hope you are able to keep posting. I tend to agree with AA and really value the cafe for its potential: high quality posts on a variety of topics. That was what lead me here and caused me to stick around. The wealth of experience and sharp thinking have inspired me to actually research thoughts and write them down (although I will confess to a 'weak vocab' on occasion, I could blame my blue collar days- but that would be a lie).

I would like to see more posts on different topics (and less weeks like this one-even though they might be needed). Hell, why not post some of your history papers on occasion - I would love that.

I will look forward to your return.

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I too will miss you dearly. And I second Saladin's plea for posts on different research or teaching-related topics. The high-intensity high-turnover rhythm at TPM annoys me at times as well. I'd love to have more thoughtful slow-going dialogues with great minds like you, larry, AA, Saladin and so on. We could do so through RSS feeds on particular posters, for instance, that would permit discussions without requiring daily perusal of the TPM dashboard to see what one is missing. Just a thought.

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Now I'm learning something new. I have the rss aggregate feed up on my yahoo home page...
Boy do I sound like I know what I'm talking about or what? (I don't).

I didn't know one could do an rss feed on individual bloggers. Can you teach me how? This would be really useful for those who don't blog every day.

Years ago before TPM migrated to the new system, we could send each other private messages and we could also be notified by e-mail when a new post went up. I believe that was true for both the bigwigs and us littlewigs as well.

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So I navigated to the homepage for your personal reader blog (under 'posts'), and then look to the right-hand side of that wise-old-man avatar you kids love to use, and click on the orange radar thingy symbol. Up pops the address for the rss feed for your blog (and/or your comments)

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/amike/atom.xml

I plug that address into my feed aggregator (I use netvibes), and I'll see every morning when I open my browser whether or not Amike's offering some enlightenment on that day.

It's what I do already for TheraP's personal blog.

to be honest I was thinking of managing my manic TPM-ing that way more generally as work picks up for me to over the next weeks...

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Thankee Kindly. I'm going to give it a try.

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Ain't no trouble with your vocabulary, Saladin. It's yours, and you and your readers are at their happiest when you're writing yourself. I've loved TPM for exactly the same reasons mention. Everytime I see a person write with conviction out of a deep sense of who they are, I cheer.

I've been reading student papers for 37 years, how many in total I couldn't be able to tell you except to say the total is "lots", with more to come. With all that practice I become pretty adept at detecting the difference between writing out of conviction and writing for effect, not to mention writing to bamboozle the reader by confining one's self to writing what the reader wants to hear rather than what the reader might need to hear.

You never do that, which is why I love to read your stuff.

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amike, I want you to know I only recently discovered you through an exchange we had about Europeans (remember that?), and since then I have been following you. Discovering you was like finding a treasure; your views are obviously informed by your experience rather than by what someone said on teevee. For that alone your contributions are gold.

Addictions become a problem when they consume the host. If that is what you feel is happening, then I agree you should take a break and shift your focus to seek more balance. Only you can determine that.

But if you go away for good, this site will be left with a gaping hole, and while you may be modest enough to think I am merely hyperbolic and flattering, I'm really just being as honest as possible. Because even when you are frustrated, your contributions embody your own unique thinking more than others who simply have less experience and insight. Sometimes your uniqueness needs to be coaxed out of you, but your habit of thoughtfulness always lifts us all. So thanks for being here. You are more regarded than you know. ;-)

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I remember that exchange fondly--because it really was an exchange. Entering it I looked forward to it, and exiting it I felt the better for the experience. I hope you did, too.

(The fact that your avatar looks remarkably like my tuxedo cat, Mr. Sprocket, has nothing to do with this, of course).

I began to look more closely at my own behavior when in response to a post I put forward with links to pro public option Evangelicals and Mainline Christians (not to mention Jews, Catholics, and Muslims) disappeared in the face of eleventy different ways of saying the ceo of Whole Foods sucks big time.

But not before one comment dismissed the concept of evangelicals saying something to the effect of "so-what, one or two Evangelicals favor health care reform with the public option." The Lutheran contingent alone numbered 4.5 million.

I'm not going very far away, as the length of this response indicates. And if something really requires a public shriek, I'll probably give it.

Thanks again. You're good people.

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Thanks, amike. Yes, our exchange was an energizing delight. It made me stop in my tracks. I'll always be a fan.

Btw, this beautiful tuxedo kitten (Sheila Rae) has an identical twin sister (Patty; named by two kids after fictional characters in one of their favorite books). Until they became grown, it was completely (and hilariously) impossible to tell the kittens apart. Made me feel like the clumsy, unobservant human animal that I really am. Patty is in this picture too, but only part of her sleeping head shows behind Sheila Rae in the bottom-right half of the image.

Looking forward to more exchanges, amike. :-)

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I have a second tuxedo also--Ms. Josie. But she's a midnight gray tuxedo rather than a black one. They look like they're ready to head out for a night at on the town, "puttin' on the Ritz," As far as I know, neither can twirl a cane yet, but considering some of the noises I hear in the middle of the night, they're practicing and will display the routine as soon as it is perfected.

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Peace be with you, amike. I'm pretty much in the same boat now. You may find yourself stopping by just to check in - as I'm doing right now.

It's a good thing when one recognizes a need to take a break. "There is a time for everything under heaven...."

Best wishes, dear friend. :-)

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Thanks, Thera. You actually gave me the inspiration to take this step. I left myself some wiggle room so when I can't help myself I'll post something: hopefully I'll remind myself to post what I want to post in the voice in which I want to post it.

I'm glad to see your grace note around. Grace notes are wonderful things. I warble them on occasion.

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You will be missed... hope you will take a peek - a comment now and then?

Hey, I can take it, I'm from Brooklyn..."Wait til next year..."

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I went to undergraduate school in Chicago--on the North Side. At Wrigley field the general call was "Wait till next century" :-)

I'll be commenting when I have something to say, and when doesn't a professor have something to say?...after all, that's what we do--profess stuff.

And as I said in the main entry if anyone wants my opinion on something, call for it in the comments or shoot me an e-mail.

I love your stuff, and while I have Katz (two katzies) I like dawgz, too.

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From year 1 to 11 lived at 5407 Washington Blvd, Chi, IL (funny what you remember from long ago). Went to Cubs or Sox every Saturday - got there early and sat 1st row bleachers. Wore my Dodgers hat - got beat up a lot.

Where do you Profess?

Somewhere, somehow you will come up with a blog or two - I do my best work walking Murry. Wait you got meows - ok cleaning the litter box...

The best to you.

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The cats critique my writing. When it meets their approval they use the litter box appropriately, otherwise. . . . I teach at the best University in Bristol Rhode Island. (also the only University in Bristol Rhode Island. Because I blog as me I don't like to use its name in the blog itself--figuring if I take responsibility the school won't have to.

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If things really get heated, I hope you won't be too busy to weigh in from time to time. Really appreciate the adult sensibilities!

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Oh I'll wade in from time to time. In the comments certiainly, and occasionally on the blog itsefl. Keeping my mouth shut has never been one of my cardinal virtues. I wish there was a corner of TPM for longer posts not particularly related to nanostories, and I've thought it would be fun to put together a collaborative blog. I have web space and band width I don't use, but I haven't figured out the logistics of it.

Thanks for the kind words.

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You make me sad. Is it the nature of this cafe that we must fall in love with transients, Professor? Answer me that one.

Thanks for the compliment, and for the Durante.

And like Thera, come back whenever you are so moved to do.

Because we all _can_ pick and choose amongst the voices we listen to. And I like to listen to yours.

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I do love the Durante, don't you? I don't plan on being transient in the sense that I'm heading to Las Vegas to shoot craps for awhile or something. I'm just cutting way back on the blogging unless and until the speed at which I work (slow) becomes more in synch with the speed that popularity of topics changes--which in the last week or two has left me breathless. I'm reminded of the old joke. A guy stands very relaxed, hands casually at his sides. "Want to see the fastest draw in the west?" "Want to see it again?"

I suspect I'll be whopping out rather large comments on occasion--if there's anything I have to add to the subject under discussion. And once in awhile I'll toss a clay pigeon into the air for others to take aim at. :-)

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To assist with any withdrawal symptoms, I recommend Leechblock (for Firefox.) Lets you limit browsing of certain sites in a variety of ways (30 minutes a day, 10 minutes in every three hours, only after 5pm, weekend mornings etc.)

And, unless you feel that you are not getting enough offers for enhancing your manliness and/or refinancing your abdominals, I suggest you use some obfuscation on that e-mail address. Replace at with MEOW and dots with WOOF, for example...clever humans will figure it out!

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Enhance my manliness? I get offers to enhance bodily parts I don't even have. I thought a couple of times about putting the e-mail address up, changed my mind a couple of times as well, then decided what the heck. It is my third alternate e-mail address, so if loads I don't have to worry about important stuff getting lost. I should probably have suggested TPM in the subject line as a good ploy to get my attention.

Leechblock sounds interesting. Does it also work on the guy at the office who always borrows money for the coke machine, or do I have to pull the Scrooge act all by myself?

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I suppose you could show it to him to distract while you flee?

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Guffaw!

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I wish I’d seen this several comments ago. I would have at least toned down my replies a bit as it’s easy to become confrontational in the heat of these blinking posts. But I don’t think you could sound harsh even if you tried; you’re such a good-natured soul at heart and it comes through.

I noticed a “fuckit” in one of your posts and thought, how sweet (see, you wouldn't even write that as two words). It’s not bullying language that prevails in your arguments, it’s clear thinking, a voluminous knowledge and logical rhetoric. (And older really is wiser, as I tell myself more and more every year).

Seriously, though, the breadth and depth you add to discussions will be missed (I agree with your criticisms of the format changes here). Living in a predominantly Hispanic area, I see your moniker and think amike must be Scottish for amigo. Have a great semester, Professor, and drop in as much as you can (it’s not good to go cold turkey you know (DTs and all).

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Oh I'll be dropping, in Don Key. I'd miss you all too much if I didn't. And I expect I'll even blog once in awhile...after all, I'll have papers to avoid grading and Saturdays to fill.

There's a story behind the Amike name. When I first joined AOL in the middle of the 1990s I had to choose a main screen name for the account. When I was growing up there were two mikes on the block...one of them about six years younger than I. So it became natural to refer to the two of us as Big Mike and Little Mike (my height made that a natural as well as the age difference). Anyhow, I chose BigMikeS for my account name.

I live a sheltered life--and so when I started chatting and getting instant messages asking "how big is it?", it took me a day or two to figure out what I was being asked. I decided enough of that, so I changed my nick to Amike2Like--troping on the old I Like Ike slogan. That got shortened to aMike..to remind myself I'm just "a" mike, not "the" mike.

I have a friend which lengthens it to Amicus (can one lengthen a nickname? I guess so. I take that as a compliment.

Anyhow. I'm going to fight the good fight as soon as you all tell me what the good fight is.

Mike

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Ha! Being Big and Little Mike isn't all bad; your names could have been Peter! (I'm not even going to ask dickday if he had a kid on his block with his his name).

It is harder to tell what the good fight is lately. Mittens for kittens might be a safe bet, but there is probably some opposition group somewhere (equal rights for dogs or something).

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There was a father/son Mayor team in Chicago which locals identified this way...I'll bet you can figure out which one. :-)

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Yeah, I bet it was the father who started that. He thought he was a big swinging one in '68.

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Your work calms this political junky :~).

I've known a few professors over the years and
they are ALWAYS grading way too many papers
and then taking vacations. It’s natural.

You are extraordinary amike! I’ve followed you since I got here.
Please don't go too far from us. I appreciate your
brilliant thoughts.

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I'm not going too far away. Thanks for the good words. The benefit of confining myself to the comments section for the time being is that I can work them up in 10-15 minutes. I don't have to treat them like quite so much the way my academic genes want me to treat the formal posts.

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I just found you and now your are leaving?! This is the story of my life. Congratulations on all of the passion you bring to your writing and..I am sure...to your teaching. It is a noble thing. I look forward to reading your comments.

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amike

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Jack of all trades, master of some: Ph. D. American Studies, 38th year in the classroom coming up. Jolly fun, what what.

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