Rove: John, we're going to you.  Remember, when you see the ball coming to you and you get nervous, just keep saying your special word over and over again...POW.  POW.  POW.  POW, and you'll be fine.

Rove: Ok, now Jail Bait, you go over the middle.  Show 'em that smile and charm.

Jail Bait: You bet, Karl!

Rove: Now Schmidt-y [thanks, Todd Gitlin], I want you to go long and bait one of the refs.  Tell him he's the worst lowlife homer ever.  Whatever.  Anything to get a rise out of him.

Schmidt: Got it!

Rove: Rudy, listen up!  You're going off into the stands and shouting "Fire!  Fire! Fire!"  Make sure you say it at the top of your lungs, over and over again.  That'll clear the place out fast.

Rudy: 911, Karl!  

Rove: JoeLieb, you...wait a minute, aren't you on the other team?  Never mind.  On the snap, you turn around and moon their defense. 

JoeLieb: Got it!  Anything else I can do to help, sir?

Rove: We'll discuss that later, JoeLieb.

ThinkingCitizen: Uh, Karl?

Rove:  Yes, TC, what is it?

ThinkingCitizen: Ummm....where are all our offensive linemen?  

Rove:  Don't need 'em, TC, don't need 'em...

[....feel free to add your own]