My Friends, there has been some recent discussion concerning my plans for tonight's debate. Rest assured, what you may have heard or read is a lie. Let me give you a little dose of the Straight Talk, for which I am well-known...

Remember in the last debate, when Senator Obama said over and over again "John is right... John is right..."? Remember that?

I can almost remember it, and that's saying something for me. My primary focus for tonight, if you <B>promise</B> you won't tell anyone (I'm still p.o.'ed with you for telling I pulled out of Michigan, but I can forgive).. my plan is to say that I was in fact WRONG. And hence, by pure logical deduction, one can clearly see that Senator Obama must have been wrong when falsely claiming over and over that I was right.

Who is this guy? Can we really trust his judgment when he couldn't even manage to correctly determine that I was wrong?!

I offer for you here my foolproof plan for hammering my opponent this evening in Nashville:

1. Wink into the camera.
2. Wear a Titans jersey.
3. Propose my new economic recovery plan: 700,000,000,000 shares of Lehman Brothers for every American.
4. Legally change my name to IAmNotBush.
5. Question Senator Obama's ties to nefarious radical Scarlett Johansson.
6. Suggest that Florida's and Michigan's electoral votes should not be counted.
7. Ask Senator Obama if I may refer to him by his first name - Hussein.
8. Liberal use of the phrase "I know you are, but what am I?"
9. Bite my tongue hard when I need a good "teary" moment.
10. Remind viewers that "Project Runway" is playing on Bravo - right now!

Who is this guy?
McCain 1908.