January 29, 2009


Washington DC: A mere 9 days after the death of President John McCain of a heart attack moments after his swearing in, President Sarah Palin has set up a showdown with congress with several controversial choices for her new Cabinet.

Leading the controversy is her selection of a Toro Power Max 828 LXE snow thrower to be Secretary of Defense, a choice Palin defends as “a bulkhead against Russian aggression”



“Ya know, you can put this device right over there on that island there and throw snow right across that narrow strip of water and into Russia,” the new President said. “And they’ll be so gosh darn busy shoveling that they won’t have time to invade any more countries.”

The Toro Power Max 828 LXE faces a tough confirmation fight in the Democrat-controlled Senate, although veteran senator Lindsey Graham has been tapped to usher it’s confirmation through.

“The president gets to pick the cabinet,” Graham said. “If this president thinks a two-stage snow thrower is the best way to keep our nation safe and secure, then this president should get what she wants.”

However, Charles Schumer (D-New York) questioned Palin’s judgment in some of her choices.

“For God’s sake, what kind of person tries to appoint their pregnant 17-year old daughter as Secretary of Health and Human Services and at the same time change it's name to the "Department of Chose Life!?” Schumer fumed. “And her husband clearly is not qualified to be Secretary of the Treasury, despite the fact she claims he balanced their checkbook back in Wasilla.”

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid promised in-depth hearings into Palin’s choice of a Siberian Husky named Jake as Attorney General.

Reid also promised an investigation into the massive power failure that knocked out power to all of New England and the Mid-Atlantic, as well as New York, California and Oregon last Tuesday.

The power failure has been blamed for shutting down 95 percent of the polling places in those states for 12-14 hours.

McCain’s democratic opponent, Senator Barrack Obama (D-Ill), sat with his head in his hands in the senate chambers, silently weeping.