A bit of free advice to Joe Biden in his debate tomorrow with Sarah:


1. Pretend she isn't stupid -- The available video suggests Gov. Palin is actually a pretty good debater, and a master at
diffusing specifics with shiny, pleasant sounding generalities.
Besides, you get no points for treating her like an idiot, no matter
how dumb she might sound. So no matter how absurdly general her
answers, treat them seriously, and treat her like she's a serious
politician, and an equal. Refer to her as "Governor," not "Sarah," and
try not to make faces when she's talking that translate on television
as "oh my god, what a moron!" See Katie Couric's therapist-like
interview faces for reference.


2. Don't be snide --
Governor Palin isn't good at putting together complex thoughts, and she
isn't in possession of a lot of words, but she does do one thing well:
the snide laugh line. She'll probably have one or two zingers rehearsed
for Thursday night, and when she drops them, be prepared with a snappy,
but jovial, comeback. Let her come off as the nasty one.


3. Don't be a smarty-pants
-- Unfortunately, Americans don't seem to like the smartest kid in the
room. Even when the country is going down in flames, most prefer
someone they like, to someone who seems to know more. Keep your answers
short and simple, and not larded up with "I've been theres" and "I know
that leaders" -- just ask John McCain. It doesn't work.


4. Don't look at her legs --
One of Palin's key strategies could be taglined, "pretty always wins."
Since she's a "conservative" brand of "feminist," she's not above using
her looks to her advantage. That's why she wore her hair down in the
Fox News interview -- she knows that the geezers who watch that station
like a little cake on their plate. And she wears skirts that highlight
her lower limbs. So whatever you do, don't look down (if the debate is
behind podiums, apply the same advice to her cleavage area.)


5. Don't go easy on her
-- A tie goes to Ms. Palin, who will get tremendous credit from both
the punditocracy and the public if she literally doesn't drool or fall
on the floor. So hit the issues hard, without making it about her.
Your target during the debate should be John McCain, and Palin figures
in only to the extent that you can tie her beliefs and policies to his,
and to the extent that her shortcomings point out HIS irresponsibility
in putting her on the ticket. Let the moderator point out her dubious
record and odd past performances. One exception: do use the phrase
"bridge to nowhere" sometime during the 90 minutes, and feel free to
point out Alaska's penchant for earmarks and pork. Those issues are
relevant because they expose McCain's hypocrisy.


2. Don't count on her to stumble --
Gov. Palin will be so completely rehearsed and robotically programmed
by the Rovites, she almost can't screw this thing up. Besides, to
repeat, a tie goes to her, and if she gets through the 90 minutes
without spitting up, crying or forgetting who the current president of the
United States is, most of the media chattering class will declare her
the winner, just for beating expectations.


Make no mistake:
Biden (who I believe won a couple of those debates during the primary, though he didn't get credit for it,) can't just turn in a so-so performance and walk away unscathed.
He has to actually WIN this debate, by being more knowledgeable than
(which is a foregone conclusion) but also just as charming, as Sarah
Palin. Otherwise he'll be the one being ridiculed on SNL this weekend,
for losing to a dumb girl.