By now there's been considerable discussion around the Internet about Google Goggles, which makes you solve math problems to prove you're not too drunk to post.

What's the point? If I wanted to be restrained and moderate, I wouldn't drink so much. If I didn't want to post drunk, I would have stayed in the bar. (Presuming I wasn't posting from the bar, which is kind of premeditated, but occasionally fun). If I wanted to be sensible, I'd be doing what normal people do, which is go out and have fun.

And I think of how far our techno-optimism has been diluted since the 1960's. Back then, George Jetson would arrive in his hovercraft, greeted by his wife at the door with what can only be described as one Rockem-Sockem space martini, slippers by his dog Astro, and then off to his recliner. Updated for internet, we would expect Robbie the Robot to bring his laptop and assist George in deciding whether to begin his letter with, "You blithering idiotic waste of cybernetic thought cycles" or something more down to earth like, "Dear Dipshit..." Instead, fast forward a few decades and we have what can best be described as home electonic monitoring & supervision, under protective custody because we simply can't be trusted to be ourselves. If you get the idea of Google Goggles, we're the ones who don't trust ourselves. Oh my. Well how about we all kill ourselves and start over then. I mean, I'll reluctantly agree that it's probably a good thing we stopped encouraging drinking and driving, what with the occasional misfortunate fast deceleration. (Though the accompanying ban on drinking in boats bothered me - first, what's a boat if not to drink in. Second, if you can manage to run into something on a huge lake drunk, you probably shouldn't be behind the wheel of anything sober.) But now we don't trust ourselves to drink and speak? Like, will there be a Party Edition of Google Goggles, perhaps tied to Amazon Kindle technology? Wouldn't it be grand to just have a muzzle with Rubik's Cube as the lock? Could make calling a taxi home a little difficult, but you can always point and grunt. (Come to think of it, might even improve pickups at your local meat market, I suppose - none of that embarrassing slurrish small talk as the desperate evening wears on - just point and click).

Oh well, technology is so utterly predictable, always the let down. Instead of it helping us make those exotic drinks we always screwed up (or never had the right ingredients for), it instead insists on telling us we really didn't want one, and here's a non-caffeine sugar-free RedBull to boot.

Okay, that's it. I'm going to hit "Submit" now, and if you don't get out of my fucking way, I'm going to blow your display into so many goddamn pieces I'll be pulling pixels out of the living room furniture for months. There. Click. That was easy. A little bit of threat and attitude, and technology falls apart. I like being back in control. Even if I am a bit tipsy.