(Sedona, AZ, September 30)  With media gathered about him in Sedona, Arizona, where every advisor and paid staffer associated in any way with the McCain-Palin campaign had worked unsuccessfully around the clock for three days to prepare Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for Thursday’s Vice-Presidential debate, Arizona Senator John McCain suddenly convened a late-night news conference at which he abruptly fired Palin “for cause.” 

McCain campaign manager Steve Schmidt indicated that, after a third harrowing, unsuccessful day of preparing Palin to answer rudimentary fact questions, including the names of the leaders of all NATO nations and their capitals, McCain had retired in frustration to a lounge to watch ESPN, only to see footage of aging, temperamental Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, firing young coach Lane Kiffin “for cause.”

 “It’s painful to admit,” McCain began, at a post-firing press conference at which McCain employed Davis’ precise phrasing.  Continuing to quote Davis, McCain added:  “But I didn’t hire the person I thought I was hiring.”  Asked if it was personal friction, McCain again quoted Davis, and stated, “It’s not a personality conflict.  It’s a flat out disgrace to our organization… the lying,” in an apparent reference to Palin’s claimed (and recently debunked) opposition to the Bridge to Nowhere. 

When asked by AP’s Ron Fournier if he could discuss the firing without directly quoting Al Davis, and could explain how he had reached his decision, McCain added:  “Sure.  To paraphrase Al Davis’ prefiring letter of warning to his fired coach, Lane Kiffin, I realized when I picked Sarah Palin that she was young and inexperienced, and that there would be mistakes.  There were just too many:  calling it the Palin-McCain ticket, agreeing with Obama about going into Pakistan, but the last straw was the Couric interview.  So when I saw this footage of this wizened old rich guy firing his wooden, dopey, handsome young protégé, whom he had only recently taken on, it just kind of all fell together for me.”

Anonymous sources confirm that, just as Kiffin was escorted from Raider headquarters by security, Palin was walked with her luggage and family to the public entrance of McCain’s compound by Secret Service. Just as Kiffin was not allowed to speak to any Raiders as he left, Palin was not permitted before her departure to speak to any members of the McCain-Palin team from which she was separated.  Team members were simply told that a successor would be named by McCain, in a manner even more spontaneous, and consistent with an even more mercurial temper and even more whimsical judgment than that employed when he selected Palin, reportedly on a dare during a drunken game of five card stud with staffers.  “Al Davis has nothing on John McCain for randomly hiring or firing anyone, right on up to the Vice Presidential nominee,” said one staffer present at the moment of Palin’s selection, who declined to be identified.

Finally, while there was no immediate response from the Obama camp, Obama supporter Claire McCaskill (D.-Mo.) remarked on CNN, “In this era of declining bipartisanship, there is one thing tonight that all Americans can agree about:  in perp-walking Sarah Palin off the national stage, John McCain has put his country first.”

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Crossposted on www.dagblog.com, a joint production of Deadman, Articleman, and Genghis-wants-a-new-name man.  Articleman is on KRXA540.com Wednesday mornings at 805 am PDT/1105 EDT.