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So, earlier today, I knocked out what was intended to be an absurdist satire of conservative talking points called "The Bridge to Everywhere We Want To Be".  And as is normal for my blog on this site, as I noted a few entries back, technical errors congealed from the very ether and I ended up with not one but two separate copies of the entry going up, neither of which was formatted in a way as to be particularly readable.

And, of course, this being TPM, I do not have the capacity to go back and correct any of those problems.  Once posted, the badly formatted, unreadable entries were, in all their embarrassing non-glory, a permanent addition  to my TPM blog, showing me in the worst possible light toa mainly apathetic, but still orders of magnitude larger than otherwhere, potential viewing audience..

Over at my blog The Miserable Annals of the Earth, of course, the same entry posted perfectly and, even if it hadn't, well, I could easily correct any errors that might have inadvertently crept in over there, should I so desire.  But, of course, few know or care about that blog over there, while I have far more portential readers over here... which, naturally, is why it so fills me with anguish when these things happen over here, and which is why I swore a month or so ago that I wasn't going to even bother trying to publish over here any more.

I doubtless should have stuck with that resolution, but, well, we all enjoy attention, and I happen to think my writing deserves a little more of it than it normally gets over at blogspot.  So... here is one more attempt at publishing "A Bridge to Everywhere We Want To Be" on TPM, in a hopefully readable format... and I cannot tell you how much I wish TPM would allow me to either see what a blog post will look like before I publish it, or go in and re-edit it after I publish it and see that it is entirely screwed up... why, exactly, is that so hard to do?

Well, never mind.  Once again, here goes nothin'...

* * * *

Let's face it, because facing it is what we Americans do best, no matter what it may be, or where, or when, or why --

Sarah Palin knocked it out of the park last night.

Which,
admittedly, makes it harder to face, unless, of course, she knocked us
out of the park too, which she did, so there we are, right next to it,
and therefore, facing it. Facing it hard, facing it well, facing it
strong, as Americans do, as Joe Sixpack and hockey moms everywhere in
this fine land from sea to shining sea always do, and will, and have,
since time immemorial.

Yet, in the end, this is not the most
important thing. Sarah Palin isn't President yet, although she'd make a
fine one, and will, one day, God willing and the creek don't rise. But
that is for the future, not the dim dead past that Obama and Biden keep
trying to fruitlessly invoke, instead of looking forward to a new era
of change and growth and progress and keeping government on the side of
the little guy while getting it out of his way and off his back at the
very same time.

No, the only thing that matters, the only matter of importance, the only vital question we have to answer, is this:

If Obama or McCain had been King of America since 1908, would we better off... or worse?

And
is that, you know, absolute king, or more of a titular figurehead, like
they have in England, except they don't, because they have a Queen?

These
are important questions, and the answers are important answers, and
here is all any sane person can say about any of this --

If
McCain had been king, absolute king, his whim is law, his word is
binding, his very breath is as the breath of God, that kind of king,
here in America since 1908., we would clearly be better off, because
McCain is honorable, he's the original maverick, he's one of a kind, he
was a POW, he's like Gandhi, if Gandhi had weapons training and a
bayonet collection and a really hot wife. He's like Ronald Reagan,
without the Reaganesqueness, he's like Calvin Coolidge, with a little
less nostril hair. He's everything we want, he's everything we need,
and if he were king of America for the last century, then we would be
everything exciting that we think we should be.

There's no
arguing with that assertion, there's no disputing its basic,
fundamental truth. The America of King McCain, the USA that would exist
after a McCain Century, is the American Dream brought to life, ten
thousand points of light all glowing like beacons in a shining city on
the hill, for the rest of the world to raise their envious eyes up to
and yearn for, from the depths of the cold stinking caves we would have
long since bombed them back into.

But suppose Obama had been
king for the last ten decades? What images spring to mind, what
emotions are evoked in our innermost hearts, what fears and
vacillations and vicissitudes would fill our brains with dread and our
souls with shrieking horror then? It's like a mirage, a dream, a dark,
screaming nightmare we could never awake from, an unending cascade of
vividly gruesome dioramas, each more loathsome than the last. But one
stands out to me, and it's one I will share with you now --

Had
Obama been King of America for the last hundred years, Jerry Siegel and
Joe Schuster would never have created Superman. It's inarguable; in a
culture dominated by Obamania for decades on end, there would be no
driving need for two young Jewish guys to create a Caucasian alien with
superhuman powers -- or, if they had, they would certainly not have
designed a costume for Superman that had a cape.

Why? You need
only ask yourself, does Obama wear a cape? Has he ever worn a cape? No,
and no, and no again. And given the enormous impact all kings in
America have always had on the fashions worn by imaginary cartoon
characters, we can only assume that in an Obama-dominated America, even
if Superman were to exist, he would have no cape.

It therefore
follows that in an Obama led USA, no small child of any generation ever
pinned a towel or a blanket around his or her neck and then ran around
the house with their arms held straight out in front of them screeching
"Whoosh! Whoosh! I'm SUUUUUPERMAAAAAANNNNN!!!"

Can you imagine
it? Can you envision it? Can you picture this dreadful apparition in
full Technicolor in that little goldfish bowl you call your mind? In
this horrible nightmare of an Obama world, you never pinned a towel
around your neck and ran around pretending to be Superman. Your
grandfather never did it, your father never did it, your brother never
did it, your cousin never did it, your kids will never do it, NO ONE
has ever done it.

Because in Obama land, there is no Superman.

Or if there is... he has no cape.

It
brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat; a grit to my teeth and
a clench to my toes; a twist to my stomach and a shudder to my spine.

Maybe
you want to live in that world. Maybe lily livered pansy gay marriage
promoting abortion hugging liberals would LOVE that world. Maybe that's
a world where they can all join hands and sing 'Kumbaya' and never
never never send a terrorist to Gitmo. Maybe. Maybe giving up Superman,
or at least his cape, and the innocent joy of millions of children
running and leaping and whooshing about, is a small price to pay for
left wingers to live in that sort of dirty hippie neo-socialist tax and
spend utopia.

But that's not the world any real American wants
to live in. Not a patriotic American, anyway. Such a world can never
be, must never be, and shall never be. I know that. And in your heart,
you know it too.

Sarah Palin knocked it out of the park last
night, and knocked us out of the park right along side it. And Superman
has a cape, and always will.

That's all I know. And it's all I need to.