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Top Ten Reasons Palin Bounce Ended
10. After leaning McCain/Palin 57-37 for a week, ten percent of likely-voter white women grudgingly decide they don’t want the government to force women to carry to term pregnancies from rape and incest, which is Palin’s position, and grudgingly decide they don’t oppose equal pay for women, as did McCain in a recent Senatorial vote.
9. David Plouffe invests all $66MM of cash Obama raised in August in secret Palin Bounce Destroying Machine that follows Palin around incognito in nuclear-powered van.
8. That Barracuda song sucks, and Heart won’t let McCain/Palin use it anyway.
7. I was on vacation in Guatemala since midAugust. When I left, Obama was up 4 or 5, and he was when I got back today. Who’s this “Palin”?
6. The First Dude abides no subpoenas.
5. Bloggers hyperventilate over Palin continuously for two weeks. As hordes of bloggers pass out and require emergency care, resulting drain on urban emergency services causes temporary drain in local government cash flow, subtly affecting credit markets, causing crash of AIG and Merrill Lynch, precipitating financial crash that alarms voters, driving them toward Obama.
4. It didn’t end. McCain/Palin are still bouncing down in the polls.
3. Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana Civil War dead send telepathic messages to descendants reminding them that hundreds of thousands of Americans died to prevent secession.
2. Vice-Presidential nominees with higher negative than positive ratings generally not big help for Presidential nominees. This is called “math.”
1. What Palin bounce?
Comments (30)
So that's why AIG failed. I was wondering. I'm not so smart with all that financial stuff.
September 18, 2008 9:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
What Palin bounce?
September 18, 2008 9:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey, that Barracuda song is great.
But, another reason, the Viagra wore off, but not after a five-hour erection, sending McCain to his doctor.
September 18, 2008 9:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sexism is bad -- but only the male variety.
September 19, 2008 5:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Republican Wives have found the secret Palin screen savers on Republican Husband computers......
September 18, 2008 9:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL! Surely a cosmic sign that you should not leave. ;)
Did you know the Repubs candidate duo are Palin/McCain. Yeah. Palin thinks so.
KateO tells us that McCain went to the hospital for priapism. And now Palin is really offended that he sought treatment. How dare he!! She was hoping he'd keel over. Since he refused to do so, she's decided to take over and ride top of the ticket anyway. At least she's up front about it.
September 18, 2008 10:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Women in the lower 48 served Mooseburgers at their Labor Day Picnics and had to spit them out after watching the Wildlife Defense Fund's "Palin Supports Aerial Shooting of Wolves" video.
September 18, 2008 10:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
She shoots wolves. She is a horrible waste of mitochondria walking in a skin. Wolves are gorgeous.
September 18, 2008 10:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Obama-Wolves '08!!
September 19, 2008 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
September 18, 2008 10:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
From what I understand, it was the popularity of a rewritten song by a certain TPM Cafe blogger that did her bounce own. Just sayin.
September 18, 2008 11:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Did her bounce in
September 18, 2008 11:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ghengis how do you misspell "in" "own"? That's not proofreading we can believe in. ;-)
September 19, 2008 9:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
My staff is on strike
September 19, 2008 1:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Who can blame them? Well, other than Articleman. HIM, I can blame.
Campaign-related question. If Genghis' staff go on strike... and topple the tyrannical bastard... wouldn't THAT be change we could all believe in?
September 19, 2008 2:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Maybe it's because she says goofy stuff like this about oil:
"Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got to flow into our domestic markets first."
Now I know it's pretty hard to glean just what she's saying here but despite the talk of not allowing an "export ban" of oil exports that's apparently exactly what she's calling for.
I live near Chicago. We have a bunch of refineries around here that I believe refine gooey Canadian crude. We really don't appreciate Palin saying that she wants to start a trade war with Canada and Mexico over oil.
That'd be another war we can't "win". Mexico and Canada sold us 8 1/2 times as much oil as we sold them last year.
September 19, 2008 9:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
As concerns war with Canada, maybe she's just getting her foreign policy from South Park. It might be aimed at the crucial swing state of Colorado.
September 19, 2008 10:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
We're the masters of misdirection. We got all the oil. We got all the moose (left.) AND we got universal health care. We got Celine Dion. But hey... just keep those troops in Iraq & Afghanistan. If you like, send some more to fight the Russians.
And go ahead... elect Palin. Y'all are so clever making jokes about how she can see Russia that you haven't even noticed the foreign country she HAS spent a lot of time in....
Candy from a baby.
P.S. I repeat. Celine Dion.
September 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
I prefer Shania Twain. Just sayin'.
Mark Twain fan too.
Not as much a Monty Python fan as I was -- it's the candidacy for VP that diminished their lustre.
(Luster.)
September 19, 2008 5:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lustre/Luster, clearly there's only one thing you got your mind on.
And ok, truth. We haven't just got Celine locked & loaded, there's also Shania. AND Avril Lavigne.
David Frum & Charles Krauthammer were sent in just to soften things up.
Candy. Babies. Parted.
September 19, 2008 5:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
0. The creature who oversees everyone's fifteen seconds of fame got distracted looking for Czechoslovakia, but is now back on the job.
September 19, 2008 12:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
exregis, my thoughts exactly. I hear the McCain team is considering hiring William Hung's PR guy to try to extend the 15 minutes to half an hour.
September 19, 2008 12:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Republicans seemed to gravitate towards Messianic figures who will free them from their earthly realities. Messianic Sarah is just another on the list of political redeemers starting with the primaries. Is there no end to this silliness?
September 19, 2008 2:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey guys - OT, and thanks (you know I'm not a spammer)
TBogg, Act Blue, some friends of mine and I don't know who else have started a drive to send donations to Planned Parenthood in "honor" of Sarah Palin. They can be as small as $5. The idea is to create an avalanche of Thank Yous from PP delivered to Sarah.
The link to donate in honor of someone is: https://secure.ga0.org/02/pp10000_inhonor
The address where acknowledgements should be sent is:
McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street
1st Floor
Arlington , VA 22202
This is spreading through the tubes and if it gets big enough, it might get media interested.
Plus, it's damn fun to do!
September 19, 2008 2:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
I adore TBOGG!!!
I already donated. ;)
September 19, 2008 3:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wouldn't it be better to send them to her directly at the governor's rural mansion itself?
Just to be certain she GETS them?
September 19, 2008 5:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ah, Monica...good to have you back.
September 19, 2008 3:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
The bounce ended because of a slow leak in her hot air balloon head. But...she has that ace in the hole...the hair worn down! She said she wore it up so as not to appear too sexy, but changed it for Hannity and "boy did it work, he so wanted me."
September 19, 2008 5:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Monica, will you marry me? I don't care if you are the ghost of Sinbad. As long as you keep writing Top 10 lists.
September 19, 2008 8:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yep, having the hair down for Hannity sure did something for me. Almost forgot my political orientation there for a second. Wouldn't mind crackin' a Bible with her (naked) after she and McGoo sink their life raft month after next.
And no, it ain't sexist to get a woody for someone and then wish to exercise said woody on its behind-the-church-pews-after-midnight target. Harassment, maybe, but luckily we work for different firms. One much firmer than the other.
September 19, 2008 8:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
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