Anyone doubting the Republican Party's utter soullessness continues in its Post-Rove Age can look at the ugly farce it's staged in the past five days.

- House Republicans stymied the original bailout plan late last week, reconfiguring the proposed $700 billion charge account for Treasury Secretary Paulson to become instead a federally underwritten insurance plan whereby creaky financial institutions would pay for their own rescue, backed by federal cash. Problem: Since the American financial industry is sinking in its own bad credit, this demi-rescue plan would do little more delay inevitable government payouts, and undoubtedly add an expensive layer of accounting bureaucracy on an already overloaded and under-supervised system.

- Again, House Republicans shot in the ass an alleged compromise package yesterday because... Speaker Nancy Pelosi hurt their feelin's!

Nobody is looking forward to trusting such an enormous amount of money to an administration with a record of handling huge appropriations with all the responsibility and caution of a drunken hayseed in a stolen muscle car. Remember all the billions that evaporated in Iraq like a desert mirage? But we're over a barrel, here. The American financial industry knew all along they could drain the coffers of their own system - extending bad credit and buying up more - simply because when the shit hit the fan the federal government would be forced to cover their greed with taxpayer money... or face a worldwide depression.

International money markets know they're trapped for the same reason. They will extend us the ready cash to cover the losses - hopefully - with the stipulation that American taxpayers and their children's children's children will be strapped with the bill for decades to come.

And as Paul Krugman notes in his New York Times blog, while the net borrowing could be recapitalized before we're all forced to learn Chinese economic terms, his "banana republic with nukes" classification of the country remains in play.

We must bite the bullet and put the money down. Nobody wants it, but the prospect of selling apples for a penny on a street corner,  or coming home on payday with buckets of useless cash, is too frightful to imagine.

House Republicans listened to the initial grumblings from their districts back home. The idea of using taxpayer money to fund CEOs' monster parachutes and ego yachts is to horrible to bear - and "average citizens" balked. These carbon-copy executives were the very, greedy sons of bitches who set up the whole mess!

But the politicians knew the markets would quake when the bailout flared out, and unease edging on panic would bring the Just Folks into line.

Now they can come back with a new plan at the end of week. It won't be substantially different from the failed bill - but it will carry the Republican stamp. This whole routine was mere pantomime to create an illusion the Republicans are running the show, making the key decisions, keeping us from the abyss - and rescuing the Republic. Who knows, maybe the Fed's Hollywood-accouting "loans" and funny money will juice the markets enough to make moot any bailout... and the unforeseen benefits of their delaying tactics will take on the status of legend. ...With endless, brain-deadening repetition, of course.

In a year when their chickens are coming home roost, these antics are all they've got. Despite a media blackout on the subject, I'm betting few forget the Nirvana of Deregulation was a Republican brainstorm, as well; this counterintuitive doctrine allowed an overstuffed industry to police itself - and create shell-game chicanery like "credit default swaps" to avoid risk and maximize profits through the roof.

...For awhile.

Now this: cheap political sideshow instead of truly coming the country's aid. From McCain on down, the GOP has become immersed in theatrics and superficiality. The party is a ugly, corrupt Karl Rove derivative, unable to see past lobbyists and the juicy temptations of money politics.

Their only "substance" is the wreckage smoldering on Main Street.