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Please read before posting blog or comment. Thanks. (Second Attempt!)

While we all convene at this site, almost like a neighborhood open house or as some have opined, a family gathering - the reality is our actual lives are experienced in diverse terrains and environments. However, TPM does provide a cyclical home for persons of various ages, religions, ethnicities and lifestyles. And tho’ most use ‘nicknames’, we soon reveal our true personas.

As with any group, some embrace the camaraderie while others chafe at the ties that bind.


Our diversity is not limited to race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity and/or political persuasion. It is also a product of differing physical, emotional and intellectual environments, as well as a mix of socio-economic groups, familial bonds and personal histories.

And therein lays the nut of this post.
 
I believe it is because of our differences that we are able to gift one another with a vast variety of messages - offering varying opinions, reactions and ideologies. Some are insightful, others informational and many tickle our funny bones. Occasionally there are even heartfelt personal experiences noting revelations of joyful tidings, memories found and losses suffered. Seldom in my times here have I exited without learning something important or at the very least, interesting.

Most often, my heart has been touched by one and my brain has been artfully engaged by another. And I have learned that sometimes it is too easy to react negatively to another’s message instead of considering that while it represents a difference of opinion and/or is contrary to a belief that I hold, it may also deliver some wisdom and insight which would be beneficial for me to ponder.

By doing this, perhaps there was a concept I missed that would enable me to understand why another feels and/or firmly holds a viewpoint opposite of mine or I overlooked salient facts in the post because of my own convictions.

When dismissing another’s message out of hand, I may miss an opportunity to engage in a respectful, enlightening debate about the issue
(without choosing to personally attack and/or contribute only vitriolic verbiage).

In this time, when it is most important to stand up and speak out in support of diversity to ensure change for a better nation and society, it seems prudent to acknowledge the need to do this right here, right now.

Instead of harping on negatives, holding on to past conflicts and grudges, it is the sharing of constructive ideas on how to build, rather than tear down, that will deliver what we all desire and need for our country and one another.

No matter the topic, if we choose to be positive and really listen to one another, I have no doubt there will continue to be passions awakened, perceptions shaken and knowledge acquired amid the chuckles, cheers and jeers. And foremost, positive goals achieved.

I thank you all for lessons learned, facts acquired and truths stated.


Comments (39)

As stated in first attempt, I am reposting this as there seems (to me) to be too many old friends leaving amidst some of the angst and new friends staying too briefly.

thanks for this post. Although I love the site, I take posting and commenting here in spurts, both because the discussions can get so personally charged and because the interface itself can be so infuriating.

I sometimes wonder how much one feeds the other. I look forward to the site update, because it does feel that some of the more productive and interesting conversations get lost to technical shortcomings (the difficulties of finding and following older postings) and/or trolling. Still, the good overwhelmingly outweighs the bad.

Waiting to try out the new community-friendly software, which may give us back some of the features we used to have.

"Community-friendly software" is a euphemism for mob censorship, just like Daily Kos and so many other sites where Obamabots troll-rated all other opinions into oblivion.

Now that my personal poster-child for the category of Obamabot, Ripper McCord, is apparently leaving the site because it isn't nice enough for a sensitive soul like him, I think we should all take a moment to remember our favorite posts by Ripper, as a paradigm of courtesy for our beautiful future on TPMCafe.

My favorite post by Ripper McCord was...

"No, cockroach. Democrats want to see a Democrat elected, not brought down by narcissitic tools who can't accept that the primaries are fucking over and the general election has begun."
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/08/obamabots-rage-while-obama-col.php#comment-3044438

Cockroach.

The term has special resonance for those of us who remember that it's what Hutus called Tutsis during the genocide in Rwanda.

Cockroach.

So in the same beautiful spirit of peace, love, and understanding, I propose a toast to our absent friend, Ripper McCord, gone but not forgotten...

"Go back to Idaho and tatoo another swastika on your ass, you mindless jerkoff!"

It doesn't exactly make sense, but neither do the lyrics of Auld Lang Syne.

It doesn't exactly make sense, but neither do the lyrics of Auld Lang Syne.

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this line.

Yeah, it sort of saves my comment, which would have been completely stupid without it. My next project is a bite-toy for frustrated news-junkies like us.

If you bite it hard enough, it screams like a Congressman.

Au contraire, I was referring to tracking and similar systems to allow a conversation to continue for a few days.

But I usually argued for the ratings to suppress ugly and hateful writing. I assumed that if it hid downrated posts from unregistered users it would also shelter them from Google. We would not benefit from posts showing up in searches for intemperate comments by liberals.

We would not benefit from posts showing up in searches for intemperate comments by liberals.

Sounds like you want us to have the discipline of Republicans?

Seriously: on the Internet, anyone can be anyone, so to assume that all of us here are liberal -- see, for example, my recent blog on trolls -- is not necessarily a good assumption.

I would never make that assumption, and remember a few trolls posting insanely over-the-top, nominally liberal comments. I figured they were hoping to see them show up as examples of "Look how crazy these liberals are!"

I was just pointing out a mechanical advantage of the old rating system.

Hey, nice contribution, Jacob -- attack Obama supporters while blaming the "Obamabots" for making you do it! This reminds me of something, I just can't place it.

I trust there will be a follow-up comment later on, deploring the negative tone of this thread.

I have been away two weeks and what a nice post to read on returning....

...and so many new faces (or old faces with new avatars).

I wondered where you have been. You completely missed my rant yesterday to save the TPM family on Ripper's (3rd or 4th, maybe 5th?) "good bye" post.

Hello ZC!

I took a two week out-of-town trip and no wi-fi where I was. It was kind of nice to be un-wired for a while.

Back to TPM and nothing has changed in the dynamics..which is okay with me since I like this place and most everybody in it.

Oh, and I did find and read your rant! Geez, that was like the one you threw at me after my infamous McCain and the high ideals post.


Bad meds day, what can I say? There really needs to be a warning on the bottles about mixing DayQuil and NiteQuil! In any case, pass on the new slogan:

say the same, say it with shame

PALIN/mccain? 2008

I would propose a possible self-censoring rule: if you couldn't have your post read on network television in prime time, you may be too emotional. I'm willing to bet that if we eliminated posts with salty language, we might eliminate much of the overheated discussions. Note this also goes for attacks against the GOP: It's a short hop from "F*ck McCain" to "F*ck you!"

At very least the attacks will be worthwhile reading (e.g. William F. Buckley style). All great art is created within limitations. You don't seriously think that Da Vinci was a devout Catholic, do you?

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Nice post, niceness is always more attractive than anger.

I was taught to regard electronic communication with the same respect as written-on-paper communication.

It's always a good rule-of-thumb to address people online the same as you would face-to-face.

This site is great for it's diversity of issues and people - I wouldn't want to hear from someone who has left all emotion aside.

As a registered Republican, I'm used to being attacked - fellow Republicans have been doing it each other for years for not supporting Bush at the expense of common sense.

Sticks and stones...

I'm a big girl, I can take it. That said - I intend to vote a straight Democratic ticket in all local/state/national elections until the "Bush/Rapture Republicans" are forced to create their own party, I'm not ready to let them take over and orphan me or those that think like me, not without a fight.

I will continue to vote in the Republican primaries, and only for those Republicans that actually adhere to Goldwater Conservatism - none of this culture war distraction stuff.

I would propose a possible self-censoring rule: if you couldn't have your post read on network television in prime time, you may be too emotional. I'm willing to bet that if we eliminated posts with salty language, we might eliminate much of the overheated discussions. Note this also goes for attacks against the GOP: It's a short hop from "F*ck McCain" to "F*ck you!"

Hey, doh, guess what?! Switch Coffee House for TV, and this rule pretty much already exists for all users of this website! It's in the link above the box you type every comment in, the one that says:
(Comment Policy):

Does TPM have a comment policy?

Yes! TPMCafe and the TPM Media network follow a simple set of rules for acceptable commenting.
1. All political viewpoints are welcome. However, hate speech of any kind, libelous statements or threats to fellow users or others will be deleted and may be grounds for suspending or terminating a users account.
2. Four letter words are not banned, but we ask that they be used sparingly as overuse coarsens and undermines the debate.
3. TPMCafe is a venue for lively and passionate debate. But insults, personal attacks and the like make that sort of enlivening exchange impossible. If you just want to scream and taunt, please go somewhere else. If you have any question about what is and what's not acceptable, follow this rule: If you wouldn't use a certain word or talk to someone a certain way in a real-life political discussion at a Coffee House, don't do it here either.

In mho, the problem is that it's not adequately enforced, on Election Central threads in particular. With the primary, they got a huge increase in traffic, and that traffic was mostly Obamabots attacking Hillary people until the only Hillary people left were a few trollish ones and a few intransigent brave ones. They didn't do anything about all the partisan name-calling and food fighting because it was such a huge influx of traffic. BTW, I don't assign that to mercenary motives, I assign it to getting a huge inflow of traffic and having a small staff that they chose to have spend time on other than moderation duties. They just let it happen. But in the three years I've been a member, I've never seen in anything he posted that Josh Marshall didn't still want the type of site discourse elaborated in those rules.

And it's been very clear in numerous posts of his that he wants a wide mixture of political viewpoints here. That includes inviting people like Grover Norquist and Ross Douhat and Christopher Hitchens to post here, not to mention a bunch of liberal hawks on foreign policy in the old America Abroad section. It's just never seemed to be a priority to defend that preference, because management just has never been that interested in paying attention to a lot of the commenting here, unless a contributor complains about them, they have other priorities. Matter of fact, he said straight out at the beginning of TPMCafe that he chose software in the psst with comment ratings systems because it offered some kind of measure of self-policiing. And he wrote up an advisory on comoment ratings at the time that people should never downrate because they disagree with the opinion.

More here:

From: TPMCafe House Brew
Acceptable Commenting
By Josh Marshall
- April 22, 2008, 4:43PM

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/04/22/acceptable_commenting/

Shortly after that post, they installed the "Comment Policy" link above each comment box.

How dare you forget the even fewer trollish intransigent brave Hillbots that remained like me?

,,!,, Eff you aa!

:o)

Respectfully, the network news rule would throw a subject matter filter over "[this other commentator] got it wrong, is an idiot, etc."

Imagine Brokaw doing that to Rather.

So I agree, but would impose a banality filter to accompany the mindless vulgarity filter. And not all vulgarity is mindless, of course.

In general I agree, but it's the "may" which makes this a "guideline" for me rather than a rule. Judicious use of "salty language" can come in pretty damn handy sometimes.

Depends on the who and the how, I suppose. :-)

It's ALL about effective communication. If somebody is insincere, then it doesn't work well. If somebody is a great "talker" but a lousy listener, it doesn't work well.

It is unfortunate that forum communication is strictly written for MOST communication is non-verbal. Body language, tone, inflection, cadence, dress, etc... these are all non-verbal yet reveal a LOT about the speaker... we don't get to see or hear any of that... So, we are left with the written word.

When everybody involved sincerely desires to understand everybody involved then times are good.

I suspect that even those who are not the most effective communicators are likely sincere... they just suck at communicating. They have a lot of poor communication skills and they don't even know it. There are also those who are very good at communicating and they use their powers to disrupt and shut down effective communication.

I'm going to go find a very fine piece of writing from a friend of mine and I'll post it soon... It's a guide on how to start a flame war... Perhaps, in there, you'll see some clever examples of poor communication... :)

Anyway... I like what I see here and I'm sorry to see there are some disgruntled members... Hopefully things can be worked out... but all parties have to be sincere.

I've noticed a few short tempers, hot tempers and overall bad tempers recently. As a public service I thought I would help everyone to save a little time in starting Flame Wars on this board.

1) Flame Wars Are All About Respect

Or, rather, the LACK of respect. The easiest, fastest and most efficient way to begin a flame war is to show no respect for the object of your flames or for that person's opinions.

For example, if one is to say "I like apples," the best response here would be "Apples?! WTF is wrong with you?!" This would instantly demean not only the opinion but the individual who expressed it thus stifling any further discussion.

Remember, discussion is the opposite of Flaming and should always be avoided at all costs if one is to successfully ignite a Flame War.

2) Disagreement is NOT Disrespect

Do not confuse disagreement with disrespect. Often a mere statement of "I disagree..." can be a sign of respect. It means that you have read the post, acknowledged it but wish to discuss it further even though you don't agree with it.

For example, if one is to say "I like apples" one might respond with a disagreement such as "I actually don't like apples at all because..." This sort of response is only going to encourage debate and further communication and discourage a good flame.

Please note the use of "because." This word is counterproductive to igniting a good flame, because it only leads to backing up one's opinion, thus leaving you open to further discussion.

3) Sarcasm is the Fuel of a Good Flame.

You may have noticed that this very thread is full of such sarcasm. My intention here truly is not to encourage Flame Wars, but to hopefully suggest means to avoid them. Or perhaps you haven't noticed. This is the true gift of sarcasm on a message board -- sarcasm is very difficult to interpret by written word alone. Many a Flame War has begun with simple confusion of intent.

To resolve any confusion, I will use one of the more useful smilies on this board...

This smiley is difficult to find among the many cats, but it's there.

3a) Use the Term "LOL" Whenever Possible.

This is a subset of the use of sarcasm.

As we know, "LOL" is an abbreviation of "Laughing Out Loud." In and of itself, it might seem convenient, but without context it's like when your friends in the rented tuxedos pointed at you in your rented tuxedo at the prom and giggled -- it's not always easy to tell if someone is laughing WITH your or AT you.

For example, if one is to say "I like apples," you might respond with "Apples?! LOL!" Is this sarcasm or not? Difficult to say. The point is that you've successfully created confusion and have potentially made the subject of your statement feel small and weak.

4) Always Remember that Your Subject is Small and Weak

One necessary aspect of message boards such as this one is that all of its members are anonymous. This makes it much easier to dehumanize your subject and view them only as a collection of words on a screen rather than as a living, breathing human being with a history, dreams, loved ones and all that crap.

Rather, imagine the subject of your flame as small and weak because you know they can never physically hurt you. So you might as well pound them into the virtual ground with your mighty hammer of rhetoric.

5) Be Sure to Go Off-Topic

If the topic of the thread is "I like apples," be sure to make the subject of your post something about how much you hate oranges or feel like taking a bath or wonder why the music in your head is getting louder. This is a great, indirect, wonderfully disrespectful way to indicate that you do not care for the subject of the thread and would rather talk about what YOU would like to talk about. You have successfully discontinued discussion. Feelings are certain to be hurt.

6) If Feelings Are Hurt... So What

Occasionally, a member might indicate that a post was personally hurtful. Always remember that even though you composed the post, and even though your intentions might not have been to be hurtful... the fault lies with the person who feels hurt. (Repeat to yourself: "small and weak... small and weak.) So regardless of what you do, don't take responsibility.

7) Take Things Personally

Sometimes, fault really does lie with the person whose feelings have been hurt due to a misinterpretation of intent. (Sarcasm is useful here.) Remember, YOU can be that person. It gives you great license to ignite your Flame War.

"Apples?! Are you calling me an Apple? I don't know what your problem is, but I am NOT an apple. You're an apple, you f*ck*ng apple!"

Responses like that one are far easier than to respond with a question about the poster's intent. That can only serve to encourage discussion.

8) It Takes Two To Tango

In the long run, the best way to begin a Flame War is to be the subject of flames and to flame back. Always bear in mind that your pride is on the line. If someone has rudely expressed that you are an idiot for liking apples, then you must remind yourself that they feel that way only because they are small and weak.

There are such useful functions as "Ignore" buttons on this board, and you always have the option to actually ignore the post that offended you... but where's the fun in that? You have been challenged. You have no choice but to fight back using the same tactics as have been outlined here.

THEY are small and weak. YOU wield the mighty hammer of your powerful rhetoric. Go for it!

LOL.

LOL!

the preceding entry was written by Kbob

Very well put, Sam. Thanks for the reminder of how to act like grown-ups.

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Thanks, aunt Sam. What a welcome post.

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aa.

"Obamabots" and "Hillary people"?

Let's make that:

Klinton Kultists and Obama folks.

Speaking of the old neoliberal America Abroad crowd, I thought of you when I read this comment today on The Washington Note:

Posted by Steve Clemons Sep 30, 1:05PM

"......... Even two of the primary authors of the concerts of democracies notion -- Anne-Marie Slaughter and G. John Ikenberry at Princeton University -- have disavowed their own proposal and called it a trojan horse for undermining the United Nations and a workable international order."

;>}

Rec'd thanks.

Thanks for a much needed post, Sam.

Interestingly enough, I have learned that some valuable thoughts come from people you think you have absolutely nothing in common with. Billy Glad used to drive me insane, but I've come to agree w/ many of the things he says, and I now look forward to his posts. The lesson being, I read nearly every post now, because you just never know what you will learn if you keep an open mind.

The lesson being, I read nearly every post now, because you just never know what you will learn if you keep an open mind.

That's interesting, because I've recently done the same and have come to a completely different conclusion. The more TPM members I read the more lame I think this place is. Originality is nearly nonexistent. What passes for interesting and clever and worthy of recommendation most often, upon closer examination, upon a really thorough read, is tepid, safe, hackneyed, common, prosaic blech!

Thousand word essays saying exactly... nothing! It's like a preacher reading from the bible then giving his flock his "interpretation" of what was just read. When you sit back and really listen, you realize he's really not saying anything. It's pap.

In here it is mostly the same. For instance, take an event in the sports world or entertainment world and transpose everything so that it seemingly applies to politics and politicians and boom! You've got a thoroughly recommended post! Never mind that it is done over and over and over again. (and really not very well.) People really think that's swift. They never tire of it.

Maybe go out and gather up as many different polls you have time for and then give your "interpretation" (like the preacher!) while actually simply stating the obvious. But do it with a sense of real discovery and tada! Rec'd!

Or if you're feeling really lazy take an article from some publication and copy the link and say "you really gotta read this"... same thing.

Then there's the oh so unique "Goodbye" post. One of the lamest use of a computer keyboard I can think of. Ripper's got recommended in no time flat. Seriously. A goodbye post!

We're now commenting in a thread that was started by, I'm sure, a very kind and sincere human being, but I cannot tell you the number of "Can't we all just get along" posts I've read in these pages.

The people who are the cleverest, the most interesting commenters are the ones who blog the least. A shame, but maybe that's the way to go. Keep the crowd wanting for more! I don't know.

I'll continue to read, continue to look for the thoughtful, interesting posts. But I'm not too optimistic.

This again, touches on your inconvenient truth, of how little it takes to get on the recommend list. A core of about 15 people is all that it takes. Once the post is lifted from obscurity it can gather some steam on it's own.

But what of those posts that aren't blessed with rising from obscurity? Are they any less worthy? Or do the 15 or so people not know the poster?

There are 3 reasons I recommend a post:

a) A good comment section.
b) A new way of viewing a topic (e.g. originality)
c) A new topic that hasn't been discussed before.

This isn't a 'can't we just get along post'.

It's about entering into a dialogue that states opposite views on a topic without taking the 'cheap shots' of negative personal attacks and/or attempted negation of another's ideas, viewpoints and stance.

In my experiences, both personal and professional, IF one has a valid and on point basis for their issue, they are able to communicate it in a manner that supports their point without denigrating the others.

That said, if the goal of one (or more) is to simply muddy the waters and/or are unable to substantiate their position with facts and legitimize their position, then they take the negative path.

Of course, if there are other hidden agendas, i.e. to create chaos and hinder the ongoing 'discussion', that is another matter.


sorry to ask this here, but since it is about learning, can someone here tell me if the site is having problems loading information? I have tried to change my profile photo a number of times, and have stayed within the pixel requirements (65 pixels wide) yet it will not change the image. Has anyone else had this problem? I have also been having issues with the speed of the site and errors (I have dsl so I shouldn't have loading problems) I can't seem to find a FAQ page and when I type it into the search function (anything I type into the search function) and I get an error message. Who and where do I get help on this site?

Never mind. It looks like it changed on it's own. After showing the old picture, I came back and the image had mysteriously changed to the correct image. Sorry to bother all you good folks out there.

PEACE

ARGH!

LANDLUBBERS BE YE ALL!
IF YE CAN'T STAND THE HEAT
DON'T ANSWER THE CALL

POLLY TICKS IS ROUGH AND TUMBLE
TO GET YER POINT HEARD
YE BETTER NOT MUMBLE

SHOUT LOUD THAT
MCCAIN IS A FRAUD
THE OLD COOT ALLOWED ME TO
MERGE AND MARAUD

FALLING STOCKS AND
FAILING BANKS
IS WHY THIS OLD PIRATE
CAN WANK HIS PLANKS

JUST LIKE ME DARLIN' WENCH HILL
THE SENATE TODAY GETS TO PASS ON THEIR BILL

DON'T BRING A LANDLUBBER TO A SWORD FIGHT!

ACQUIRE! MERGE! MARAUD! DILUTE! DILUTE!

ARGH!

AVAST, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YE.

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