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Hey, Liberal Idiots, Here's Why I Support McCain/Palin!
It seems like the lot of you can't understand why a person of reasonable intelligence would be willing to support John McCain and Sarah Palin in the race for the presidency. Well, like most Americans, I'm pretty darn smart and I've got a great bullshit detector, so I'll explain to you liberal, coast-dwelling elitists just what appeals to me about John and Sarah.
Reminder, Liberals: John McCain is a War Hero
John fought valiantly in World War II and was captured by the Japanese. Did he give up? Hell no! He toughed it out for five years and then came back to America with the determination and grit to find a younger, hotter wife. And John isn't going to deal with any "political correctness" bullshit about those Koreans who tortured him, which is why he was still calling them "gooks" in the 2000 primaries. Suck on that, reverse racism!
John McCain's Backbone Is Tougher than Steel
Hey lefties, do you remember when John stood up to the President and passed that anti-torture bill? No, of course not, you were probably too busy redistributing my hard-earned tax dollars to drug dealers and baby-murdering "family planning clinics." Well guess what, you cretins, John stood up to the President of the U.S.A. and that was the end of that. A weak-willed hypocrite would have later reversed himself and supported George's veto of anti-torture legislation, but not John Sidney Backbone McCain!
John McCain Is a Cool-Tempered Man of Sound Judgment
Let me paint you a picture: January 2002, John McCain stands on an aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea. He yells out to the sailors below, "Next up, Baghdad!" While Barack was still "community organizing," John was taking the fight to Muslim extremist and despotic strongman Saddam Bin Laden, not to mention the unholy alliance of Iraq, Al Qaeda, and Kim Jong Ill (who probably tortured McCain when he was a prisoner at the Hanoi Hilton in China). If Barack were in charge we'd all be speaking German now, and probably Arabic too. And Spanish. Never forget, America.
John McCain's Razor Wit Is Sharper than Sarah Palin's Tongue
In a democracy like ours, the President has to given long, boring speeches like the State of the Union Address. If the President can throw in a few hilarious zingers, we're less likely to get drunk and pass out within the first half hour of the performance. Well, John McCain's just the man for that job. Exhibit A: "For a guy whose 'official seal' carried the motto, 'Yes, we can,' Senator Obama's agenda sure has a ... whole lot of 'No, we can't.'" Boom! If you smell something burning, it's just the few smoldering ashes of Barack's dignity left after that scorching barb.
Sarah Palin Is the Hottest Grandmother on This Side of the Mason-Dixon Line
She's smoking. Anybody who says otherwise is a sexist who hates moms, and probably a reverse-racist too. Think about it: when McCain is keeping us entertained with gut-busting quips during the State of the Union, do you want some crusty long-hair like Joe Biden sitting behind him mumbling about organic tofu or Amtrak? Yeah, I thought so. Yet another example of John McCain's good judgment: the VP's job is to stand next to the President during important speeches, and who better to do that than Sarah?
Sarah Palin Eats Mooseburgers
Oh, I'm sorry, did you think that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is going to be intimidated by a deadbeat "community organizer"? Yeah, right. In case you sushi-eaters forgot, Mahmoud is like Saddamn Bin Laden, but with even more weapons of mass destruction, plus nukes. Picture this, Dems: hot grandmother kills and field-dresses a moose in front of Mahmoud and then eats the moose's flesh while he sweats bullets. Now he knows we mean business and that you don't mess with America. Thank God we didn't make Biden VP.
McCain/Palin: Christmas for Freedom
There are at least a million people in the world who need freedom, and only America, the Clint Eastwood of nations, is going to give it to them. We need to kick ass and take names in Iran, North Korea, Russia, Cuba, and East Germany (that's where President Putin lives, if you need a lesson in geopolitics). Barack, true to form as a lifelong "community organizer," would probably talk to them and then agree on a plan to reach a compromise mutually beneficial to both nations or some other garbage. Wrong move, idiots! John McCain would shove his foot so far up their collective ass that they'll be begging him for freedom fries. But there won't be any, because Sarah will have eaten them all with her mooseburgers.
By this point I'm sure even you pinheads get the picture. Case closed, jerkweeds.





Comments (72)
Good one.
September 7, 2008 11:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
You're wrong!
McCain was captured by the Germans as they bombed Pearl Harbor!
September 8, 2008 11:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah, just as Obama was organizing his toys on the South Side of Hawaii!
September 8, 2008 1:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sir, just because you likely have an erectile disfunction, causing random and inappropriate outbursts of anger like your diatribe above, and your family (if they''re still around) hates you and your life is basically in the shitter... why are we required to deal with it?
There was a time... believe it or not... when it was assumed that in the so-called "two-party system", one side believed one thing; the other side believed another; the two put up candidates and may the best man win. No one side of the political divide disrespected the other, simply for existing/i>.
Now, dysfunctional fringe elements who get their talking points (not to mention what passes for their thought processes) from extremely rich corporofascists on the radio (who BTW would not pee on you, if you were on fire) accuse their worthy opponents of being "'tards", "traitors" and the like.
This note is just to let you know that, in another, not all-that-distant America, people like you didn't even have a place to vent, nor to be exploited by a political party for their stupidity and lack of sophistication. So say "thank you", at the very least. Then go wipe yourself, and clock-in at the parking garage.
September 8, 2008 12:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
HAHA! GOTCHA! That was SNARK! You've been, as these kids today say, "pwned"! By ME, as well!
(But now do you understand how we've let critters into the discourse who are simply not qualified to determine the future course of our country? The GOP has empowered the IDIOTS! This is beyond cynical... it's killing us.
Nice work, Rocky! :-)
September 8, 2008 1:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks for the midnight snark.
September 7, 2008 11:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL
September 7, 2008 11:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
ps.
Spread the word to your progressive friends:
********************************************
Get out the vote!: Voter registration deadlines starting Oct. 4-6
http://www.rockthevote.com/voting-is-easy/important-dates/
********************************************
September 8, 2008 11:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Awesome. Rec!
September 7, 2008 11:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
On every point you attempt to make Democratic Presdents have out performed and when you look at how members of the military are ranked by their own support groups Democrats continually rank higher.
You make the case for why the last 30 years have given us a fascist corporate state.
Thanks for making it abundantly clear.
September 7, 2008 11:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think it was a joke, at least that's the way I took it. After all, McCain didn't fight in WW II or Korea, and etc.
September 7, 2008 11:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yew callin John Sidney McCain III a liar? He wuz a PeeOhDubya fur krissake!
September 7, 2008 11:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hells yeah! We do all of that stuff better than you. I'll put Bill Clinton against Sarah Palin in a mooseburger-eating contest any day of the week.
September 8, 2008 7:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
Not bad, not bad at all.
Comedy central material
MULTIPLE RECS!
September 7, 2008 11:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
My first thought. admittedly, was "Colbert Report"... but it's just a coupla notches too in-your-face insulting to the audience to play in the Colbert persona; may I remind you, Stephen's audience is live!
September 8, 2008 1:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is brilliant. Sir or madam, I commend you!
September 7, 2008 11:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Uh, duh...At 1st I thought you were just an idiot who thought he was in WWII...then belatedly the snark meter went off! You got me!
September 7, 2008 11:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
I love me some snarky faux GOoPer posts! Rec'd.
September 8, 2008 12:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
The politics of resentment rules our world.
That's the real reason McCain/Palin are now leading. People know they suck, but who cares, as long as it pisses off liberals.
September 8, 2008 12:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
Wait a bit. A couple of polls do not a lead make. Give it a week.
In the meantime, let me remind everybody to vote early so you can be free to do GOTV on Nov 4th.
September 8, 2008 7:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
Funny stuff! If it were posted two or three times I would rec them all, but thanks for the restraint :)
September 8, 2008 12:15 AM | Reply | Permalink
LOL! ;-)
September 8, 2008 9:23 AM | Reply | Permalink
It is difficult to tell if this guy or gal is a real GOPer or not. He sounds like Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity to me.
September 8, 2008 1:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Levity, people, levity.
Brilliant!
September 8, 2008 2:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
What's really, really sad is... there really are people who think like this. And their numbers are not small.
September 8, 2008 6:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
Actually, their numbers are quite small. It's just that they used to be the only ones voting. Higher turnout means these people are marginalized even further than they were in 2006.
September 8, 2008 9:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
Why don't you go back to Whole Foods and fill the trunk of your Prius with cruelty-free chicken breasts, you cretin?
September 8, 2008 9:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Why don't you just go to hell you fascist pig.
September 8, 2008 10:38 AM | Reply | Permalink
Naaah... I wanna join you on your helicopter moose hunt ;)
Can we use AK-47s? Sure the extra bullets spoil some of the meat, but it's much more fun that way.
September 8, 2008 5:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I laughed so hard at this line:
"If Barack were in charge we'd all be speaking German now, and probably Arabic too. And Spanish."
Great overlap between the "if Nazis ruled" motive and Obama's comments on mulitlingualism. Mike Gallagher and his ilk do this all the time by accident.
September 8, 2008 8:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
McCain/white trash bimbo 2008
Clinton 2012
NO B. Hussein Obama 2008!
September 8, 2008 8:14 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thank God at least one person out of all these liberal morons gets the point (except for the Clinton part, anyway). Americans like you and me who don't send our dogs to "pet spas" and drink Vitamin Water all day know that it's time for the U.S.A. to put its foot down. Iran and the Soviet Union are scared shitless of John McCain in the White House because they know we have millions of troops just sitting around back home waiting to kick some ass. John is going to unleash them just like he unleashed Pitbull Sarah. While Barack is whining about "dumb wars," McCain will probably get in a fighter plane and drop the first bombs on Iran himself.
We killed Saddam and turned Iraq into a democracy without any casualties, and now the Axis of Evil is fucked! As John would say, "Next up, Iran, the USSR, North Korea, China, and probably Syria!"
September 8, 2008 8:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
Palin is a white trash, unqualified bimbo who went to 6 colleges to get 1 undergraduate degree. Barry sucks, McCain is ok (please stay healthy) but the bimbo ... hope the Enquirer is correct on her affair. Barry sucks and should have picked Clinton over the bad hair plug loudmouth corrupt Biden.
No Barry/Hair Plug 2008; Clinton 2012!!!
The DNC purge will come after the election.
September 8, 2008 10:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ahhh...conservative stupidity at its finest. I suppose our current troops are on their 4th and 5th tours of duty to let those other millions that are lying around to rest up?
You really want to go down that path of insanity don't you.
September 8, 2008 6:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Please, please, please, PLEASE recalibrate your snark-o-meter.
I hate to rub it in your face, but not even the most crazed R.R.R. could write this with a straight face: "We killed Saddam and turned Iraq into a democracy without any casualties,..."
Please recalibrate. It's snark. I assure you.
September 8, 2008 10:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mageduley, I should add: thanks for the vid link in your post. Chilling.
September 8, 2008 11:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Please, please, please, PLEASE recalibrate your snark-o-meter.
I hate to rub it in your face, but not even the most crazed R.R.R. could write this with a straight face: "We killed Saddam and turned Iraq into a democracy without any casualties,..."
Please recalibrate. It's snark. I assure you.
September 8, 2008 10:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
One minor quibble. McCain was not "tortured". He was subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques.
September 8, 2008 8:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
One minor quibble. McCain was not "tortured". He was subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques.
September 8, 2008 8:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Some say McCain "confessed" within a few days of capture and was the fattest POW ever released.
September 8, 2008 10:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
Funny stuff!
September 8, 2008 9:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
I like McCain because he defends his VP candidate from scurrilous Democratic attacks and has a sense of humor. It's unseemly and sexist to question Mrs. Palin's beliefs, past or her record. It's disgusting to mock McCain's seat of his pants vetting process. But hey, did you hear his joke about Janet Reno being Chelsea Clinton's dad?
September 8, 2008 9:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
LOL, Rec'd.
I especially loved "WMD's plus nukes!"
September 8, 2008 10:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
A lot of voters would read this and buy it lock,stock and barrel. Living in this country is like a nightmare you can't wake up from.
September 8, 2008 10:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yea, im convinced. Ive been so stoopid.
September 8, 2008 10:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
And on top of that Palin is a racist. That's why she's such a good fit with a Republican ticket!
http://www.laprogressive.com/2008/09/05/alaskans-speak-in-a-frightened-whisper-palin-is-%e2%80%9cracist-sexist-vindictive-and-mean%e2%80%9d/#more-954
September 8, 2008 10:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yup. Smearing Palin with dumbass crap like this has worked so well so far. I can see why you are pushing it here....
Come on. There's plenty to get her on without taking the bait on some BS stories like this one. She supported the Bridge to Nowhere. She was the Earmark Queen of Wasilla. She hasn't spoken to the press in 9 days.
And you give us "laprogressive"? Are you serious.
September 8, 2008 10:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
Oh, right. And John Edwards never had an affair, because that came from the National Enquirer. You just stick with MSM and you too can be as smart as a Pug!
September 8, 2008 12:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
So much for previewing my post ideas in lingr.
September 8, 2008 10:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
What's this sushi eaters thing - I like bloody rare steaks, thank you.
Stoopit conservatives - it's all cliches with y'all.
;)
you still get a recommend, but don't ask me why -
September 8, 2008 12:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
USAToday/Gallup: McCain 54%, Obama 44% among likely voters.
Clinton 12.
Netkooks are morons.
September 8, 2008 12:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well gotnolife, you should know about netkooks - you're a prime example.
I'll match that poll with the $10 million Obama raised in one night on the basis of Palin's speech, and see you.
What are you holding? A bunch of lies? You just lost the hand.
September 8, 2008 12:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
You'd know netkooks, gotnolife, cause you're a prime example.
I'll see that poll and raise you Obama's $10 million he brought in in one night on the basis of Palin's speech.
I call - what's in your hand? A bunch of lies. You lose.
September 8, 2008 12:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
USAToday/Gallup: McCain 54%, Obama 44% among likely voters.
Posted by gotalife
September 8, 2008 12:25 PM
1) Electoral-vote.com aggregate of polls nationwide: Obama 301, McCain 224, tied 13. On a steady Obama uptrend since early August.
2) Newly registered Democratic voters in approximately last year: 2 million. Decline in Republican voter registration in same time frame: ~ 0.5 million.
3) "Likely voter" scenarios ignore new voters.
Nice try, though, getalife.
September 8, 2008 5:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
After watching all you truffle finding republicans laugh at Rudy's attempt at humour, I can only come to conclusion that your rhetoric must be "noun, verb and a lie/9-11/POW. Unfortunately, being canadian (with even worse national politics) I cannot help you democrats not blow this one! Your policies have a great effect on our country: Stop screwing everything up people...Get this one right this Time. I mean the old guy might have been a POW but come on, he's borderline senile!
September 8, 2008 12:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
You'd know netkooks, gotnolife, cause you're a prime example.
I'll see that poll and raise you Obama's $10 million he brought in in one night on the basis of Palin's speech.
I call - what's in your hand? A bunch of lies. You lose.
September 8, 2008 12:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have just one or two simple questions here.
Who was in charge when 9/11 happened? Which party had majority in the House and Senate and was supposed to protect us when towers went down?
Answer is easy...IT WAS REPUBLICAN PARTY AND REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT...so did they do their job properly to protect us and protect USA?
September 8, 2008 1:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Germans?
(cue boone)
September 8, 2008 1:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh no, we've been "PALINED"!
September 8, 2008 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is that like being "Sa-ROLLED"?
September 8, 2008 5:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Exactly!!!
The example of being Sa-Rolled:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L30V5vnYHzk
September 8, 2008 6:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Here is the thing:
All jokes aside, the elections have stopped being about "issues" for a long time now.
If Democrats are serious about winning, they should be working on getting the low informatin voter to like their candidate.
Weak sounding parries do not make the grade in that respect.
It would be helpful if Obama and/or Biden could publicly kill something and then eat it.
September 8, 2008 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Could we get this cross posted to Liberty Post, Grassfire and Free Republic? It would be interesting to see how long it takes "McCain was captured by the japanese in WII" to make it back to the mainstream press.
September 8, 2008 2:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Drudge - just leak it to Drudge.
September 8, 2008 3:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Seconded!
September 8, 2008 3:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL -- The minute you said "McCain is a Cool-Tempered Man of Sound Judgment" I knew it was snark. Even McCain supporters know that isn't true, they just don't care.
September 8, 2008 2:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wasn't McCain was born in Panama? At least Obama was born in the United States. I think in the Constitution says something about being born on American soil to be President.
Anyways, fighting is only getting us more in debt with China. I won't be surprised that we have an economic break down like Russia. Over spending the military is just throwing us under the bus here at home. The government doesn't care about us. I mean, they keep bailing out corporations and fighting wars. Where do you think the money for such needed programs such as fire department, schools, etc are going come from. We are the ones paying for the bail outs of those corporations when they say "the feds are taking control of the banks." When money is spend on bail outs and a growing military and contractors...it's being taking out of other programs.
I'd rather vote for someone who wants to empower people to change our country then a gun slinging cowboy from Arizona who shoots and asks questions later. (In case you didn't catch it, the later is McCain) We already had 8 years of one cowboy from Texas.
September 8, 2008 4:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
John McCain is alright until you bring up the subject of the missing frozen strawberries.
September 8, 2008 4:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I thought McCain was a POW in the Franco-Prussian war. Did I miss something?
September 8, 2008 5:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hilarious. :o)
HOWEVER, what's sad is that this is actually the sort of thing that would in fact sound logical to about 50% of the electorate. I hope you didn't just convince someone in a "swing" state to vote for McSame and Palindrone.
Not that any of these people are likely reading TPM, of course...
September 8, 2008 5:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
I love this guy! He's sooo smart. Pretty darn smart! And well informed.
>>It seems like the lot of you can't understand why a person of reasonable intelligence would be willing to support John McCain and Sarah Palin in the race for the presidency. Well, like most Americans, I'm pretty darn smart and I've got a great bullshit detector,
People like this are dangerous. Dangerous because they vote. (See G.W. Bush)
The only way to convince them is to let them see it for themselves. So As Jon Stewart once said, "I got some clips you should see."
September 8, 2008 8:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
RRR, Let me get this straight. You are calling me an idiot. A guy with three doctoral degrees. The guy who doesn't buy GOP fact-free delusional thinking. Calling McShame a war hero is OK; however, how it that the other war heroes think his full of shit? And poor John McSame doesn't realize this is 2008... Vietnam is over and yet, he's still fighting a war that's been over for over 30 years? Please, please, please! The old guy just doesn't understand his days are over. Honor persons of his age, of my age, understand that the past is past. And, then he insults women with Sarah Palin, a latter day June Cleaver. Mein Gott! Do you really think American women are that stupid? Apparently, you do. RRR, Go with God but, please leave this well-being of this country to rational adults. The past 28 years demonstrates what happens when we permit idiot GOP children to run the country.
September 8, 2008 9:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
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