Would be First Lady has potential First Baby

ST
PAUL, MINNEAPOLIS -- In the capper to a day of stunning disclosures
from the McCain campaign, would-be first lady Cindy McCain announced
that she too is with child.

The 55-year-old beer heiress was
thought to be well past child-bearing age and surprised both campaign
staff and her husband with her announcement. However, she said she was
determined to remain a svelte size five throughout the term, with the
help of amphetamines.

"John doesn't spend all his time campaigning," Cindy McCain said, winking. "The surge worked."

When
asked about the pregnancy, Senator McCain seemed puzzled and replied he
wasn't actually sure of how many children he had, you would have to ask
his wife.

Earlier in the evening, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska announced that Bristol Palin, her unmarried 17 year old daughter, is five months pregnant. This put something of a damper on Internet-fueled rumors that Trig, Palin's four-month-old, is really Bristol's child.

"I guess that abstinence program we had her on didn't take," Palin said with a shrug.

The
Palin camp announced that 14-year-old daughter Willow is not yet
pregnant, but has a hot date for next Friday night, so anything's
possible.

In response, an aide to Barack Obama's campaign
declined to talk about either candidate's family, but assured voters
that the candidate and his wife Michelle continue to have a robust sex
life using appropriate birth control measures. He then mouthed the
words "four times a night -- seriously" but refused to take any
questions.

From The WitList