What's that noise? Is that shelling? No, it can't be. Someone must have left the TV on and it's Robin Williams doing Good Morning Viet Nam. But, no....no, the house is shaking. It's Saakashvili! It's Saakashvili calling out with the Blackwater appropriate time of day greeting to all of South Ossetia. You can just feel the unifying love with every shell.

All of Ossetia knows that our loving Mikhail should have been an evangelical like President Bush, because he too has the ability to bring you so-o-o-o much closer to God. And, even if you are fast enough to make it out of your bed alive, the foxhole temples are so inspiring with their dollar sign shaped design. We've even nicknamed them "Fast Bucks".

And, bless their souls, Senators Graham and Lieberman heard about our Fast Buck situation and came a runn'in. While they are here, we must not forget to ask them about Blackwater guards for our college campuses too. We want our children to know the GOP version of American democracy and to feel God's hot lead love the next time that there is a college campus protest. Our children need to know these new ways that God now uses to control and eliminate educated political dissent.

We need to learn the real workings of the Senators'  democracy, like how to professionally falsify a Congressional Record, or, how to set up a Department of Homeland Security to manipulate and control the populace.

If these McCain sent representatives can destroy America, they can surely destroy the Russians.